My little son, my little boy
Always fighting for his rights and never doing what is wrong
My little child, putting him in bed and listening to him and his dreams
Kissing him goodnight, hoping his future would come through being great like he is
Praying everynight, everyday and every noon to see him again
Sitting at the front door waiting for him to return
Going everynight, everyday and every noon to his grave
Everytime leaving him more and more stuff from back when things were good
My little soilder may be dead
But thanks to him we are free again
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Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
Hey friend! Wow, this poem was filled with a lot of emotions. I loved it so much. Let's not waste any time, and let's jump right into the review:
In my interpretation, this is a parent speaking to their deceased child, who fought in a war. They reflect on how he was always fighting for his rights, and never doing anything wrong, but then we transition to memories of when he was small, like talking him into bed and watching him sleep. It really reflects on a parent. Love for a child, seeing them when they are small, and unable to take care of themselves, perhaps scared of the dark. But they grew into this adult who was fighting for their country.
I found this to be pretty sad. I picture a mother or a father sitting at the door, waiting for their child to come back, but he never came back. And every night they missed that child that they used to talk into bed, but now they are, never able to do that again. But they know that he is sleeping somewhere. I liked the last two lines of those poem, too. We state that we know he is dead, but thanks to him we can be free. This is really inspiring. I love how simply you wrote those poem, but it tells an entire lifetime of love, sacrifice, growing up, and death. I love the contrast, we see of the soldier being a little child and then them growing up to die fighting for what's right.
overall, what a lovely and inspiring poem! Keep on writing, and I hope to see more by you on the site soon.
Your friend,
Ellie
hello
;D Tambo here coming in for a short review on this poem.
Let’s just get straight into it!
You really know to make someone genuinely feel upset with your writing. The only mistake in this poem was that with the word soilder you actually spell it soldier, other than that the poem was great! I felt sorry and proud for the mother at the same time. I loved how the young soldier sacrificed himself, there is always a movie where the main character dies to save others. I cried in Armageddon! 😅
Overall if this work would be put on my recommended page, I wouldn’t be surprised!
Bye! I hope you have a great rest of the day or night (wherever you are).
Sincerely, Tambo
Hi names 22Midnight
i'm here to read your writing.
what a lovely start to this but then so sad at the end, it really got me feeling for the mother who lost her child because of war.
this did get me thinking about all the things going on nowadays with those out there sacrificing themselves for others like this.
this sounds like a very brave kid who marched out to battle when he was only a teen and didn't make it out.
it's nice to see how much his mother loved him and how thankful she is for his sacrifice.
also only mistake with spelling that I noticed is soilder you actually spell it soldier, since this isn't your first language and the first work you posted you did a brilliant job!
okay that's all from me see ya!
Hi there Akizx! I'm Orabella, here with a quick review.
Welcome to YWS! Hope you like it here. ^^ If you need anything, please don't hesitate to reach out to me or another active moderator. We'd love to help, even if it's just a simple question!
I love this poem so much! The sadness behind it is beautiful, and the end kind of made me want to cry. I can't tell you which line is my favorite, because pretty much half of them share that title, but I can say your lines were very powerful, each in their own way, which I thought was really cool.
Oh, so English isn't your first language? This work is amazing; I would've assumed a native English speaker had written it. There's one thing I noticed, though: I think you spelled "soilder" wrong. I believe it's spelled "soldier" (the i comes after the d). Other than that, everything looks fine, or at least nothing noticeable!
This kind of reminds me of a song from a show I like; it's a man singing about his "brave soldier boy" that died, although I feel like this poem is a little more personable. We can see it from the parent's eyes and what it was like to lose their child in exchange for freedom. This ends it on a very bittersweet note; on one hand, they are free, but on the other, they lost their child in the process. Which is worse?
I also love the connection between these lines:
Again, it's so sad but so sweet how his future would be great, but he will be gone. And he made other people's futures great too. He made them free.
Thank you so much for writing and sharing! I'd love to see more of your work! Have an amazing day/night, and keep writing!
Hey there! I'm Dani and I'm here to leave a quick review. I had to read this piece a few times to really understand it.
Lines to remember: The repetition in these two lines really drives your point home.
I feel like this is when the readers understand exactly what is going on in your poem - that the mother's son is dead.
Small Critiques: the words every night in the lines quoted above should be two words.
Overall, your poem has a strong message and is very well written especially with English not being your first language. Good job! And please keep writing! I'd love to read more.
Author note:
Hello^^ this is my first time publishung my work...hope you like it! Feel free to correct me and give me tips!( btw!! English is not my first languange so Im sorry for possible spelling and grammar mistakes!!)