z

Young Writers Society


12+

You. Love. Her. More.

by AilahEvelynMae


“Mom! You love her more than me” spoke my friend. Only four words. You. Love. Her. More.

“Sweetheart, no! I love you with all of my heart!” Said the mother as she embraced her daughter, swarming her with affection.

“You love her more” I said to my mother, awaiting the comforting love that I had dreamt of. Only four words. You. Love. Her. More.

“Stop being ridiculous”, only three words, replied my mother.

I cried. I had never felt motherly affection before. Why do other mothers do it, but not mine? “It’s okay”, I thought “you’re used to this by now.”

I went and sat by my window, praying dad would come home, but I knew he never would.


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83 Reviews


Points: 187
Reviews: 83

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Sat Oct 16, 2021 3:08 pm
AriesBookworm wrote a review...



A child who constantly feels like they aren’t good enough for their mother. They see other children with their mothers and wonder what they’ve done wrong. A question that no child should ask, a question that too many children ask themselves. It may take years for the child to realize it’s not their fault, it may takes decades, it may take the rest of their life. Some die still wondering what they did wrong. Don’t have children just because your spouse wants them, don’t have them because you’re lonely, don’t have them to fix your marriage. You would be selfish to do that. Have children because you want and live them. Have them because you want the responsibility of raising a human who looks up to you.




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Points: 13
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Tue Aug 03, 2021 9:07 pm
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bnnina wrote a review...



Hi :)

I really liked this story. It is such a sad piece, and super short. I like how you were able to portray such strong emotions within a this small space of time.

The last sentence was my favorite:
"I went and sat by my window, praying dad would come home, but I knew he never would."
I can just picture this little child sitting, staring out of a window all alone.

Well done!




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Wed Jul 28, 2021 11:27 pm
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LadyTano says...



Hello, AilahEvelynMae!

Your story is very sad, but I like it in a way. You got me on the first paragraph, mainly when you said,

Only four words. You. Love. Her. More.

I felt sadness at the end, as this is very emotional. I quite like this, thank you for writing it!

-Miecz Autorski
"There are Worlds between Words."




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Wed Jul 28, 2021 8:10 am
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

“Mom! You love her more than me” spoke my friend. Only four words. You. Love. Her. More.

“Sweetheart, no! I love you with all of my heart!” Said the mother as she embraced her daughter, swarming her with affection.


Well, that's a sweet scene to start off with there, not too often on YWS that you run into stories with wholesome starts like that. It looks to be a fairly young child there that's protesting against her mother showing too much affection to the POV character here and the mother here is moving quite quickly to rectify that. A nice little start to this scene here...and now I'm where this could potentially be going here.

“You love her more” I said to my mother, awaiting the comforting love that I had dreamt of. Only four words. You. Love. Her. More.

“Stop being ridiculous”, only three words, replied my mother.


Ahh...I was afraid this was going to end up going there....but oh well, that is potentially the worst direction this could've gone in. Our POV character here decides to try and wish for the same comfort and her mother flat out rejects her quite rudely too. Its possible the mother just things this person is being a little childish, but that was certainly quite a dismissive thing for the mother to say and it looks like our protagonist is going to react quite badly to that one.

I cried. I had never felt motherly affection before. Why do other mothers do it, but not mine? “It’s okay”, I thought “you’re used to this by now.”

I went and sat by my window, praying dad would come home, but I knew he never would.


Well that ended on a terribly sad note there, it looks like this person's mother is not the best when it comes to showing them any affection and from that last line either their father has left them or potentially died...so, well, doesn't look to be the healthiest of environments to be living in there.

Overall, well, for a story this short, it manages to pack a surprising amount of emotion into it and makes you think quite a bit about the situation our protagonist finds themselves in here. All in all, it was a nice little thing to read here. :D

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry






Thanks! You%u2019re the best %uD83D%uDE0A



KateHardy says...


You're Welcome!! :D




Light griefs are loquacious, but the great are dumb.
— Seneca