Hi Ailah! I know you've already submitted this, so I'm not too sure how helpful my review is going to be at this point but I thought I would still pop by and offer some thoughts in case.
We were always taught the following at school, and I wonder if this can be of use:
P.E.A.C.E - Point, Evidence, Analyse, Comment, Explain (I don't know what it says about me that I didn't have to look this up at all literally ten years later...)
It always used to help me build a framework for a paper, so I'm sharing it in case it helps in the future!
Firstly, I think you've done a good job tackling a tricky topic and keeping it mostly factual. It's hard to cover off everything you'd actually want to put in an essay of this type when you're limited to three paragraphs, so I think this is well written, especially considering that limitation!
I would maybe think about some of your quotations in this though, and whether you really need them. For example the first one:
"Some children also have issues with trauma or abuse. You can trust our pediatric experts to help you and your child"(Mental and behavioral health care)
I don't really know what point you're trying to make by including this, and it reads as though it's kind of in there because you felt like you needed a certain number of quotes (we've definitely all been there). I find this sometimes happens when you make a point and then look for a quote to support it, rather than finding a quote and then making a point around it - perhaps something to consider in other essays you write.
I also think the second paragraph could be rethought a little, as it's unclear what exact point you're trying to make - there are two or three in there, and they seem a little confused which makes the whole section feel less impactful. I would maybe remove the section about 5 minutes of pressure on the carotid arteries as I don't think it really fits with the rest!
Overall though I think you've definitely fulfilled the criteria of the assignment - I hope you get the grade you're after from this
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