Who?

I really like this. It seems like it's saying "You can't tell me who I am just by looking at me." It's pretty impressive. Great job.

Hi Adriana! Welcome to YWS! ^_^

I quite liked this! You had a cool rhyme scheme going on and some interesting thoughts, even though the mirror thing and reflections can border on being cliche.

I see someone whose eyes are dark as dirt,
and hair as black as mud, and skin as brown as bark.
I see a transformable case
that houses a mind that is full of light and dark.

I see an empty soul,
who just wants to be.

To me this seems like quite a dark piece of writing, that brightens up towards the end. The start begins with a protagonist doubting his/her person, as to who they are.

The descriptions you you put forward seem to contradict the phrase at the start "I see an empty soul", because the description is quite colourful. And when you say "soul" it would generally incline a person mental as well as physical state; you have plenty of body descriptions that were colourful, but perhaps you could have had more descriptions on an aspect from the mind. I think it would round the poem off a lot better if you covered both sides.

The rest of the poem aside from that is good, you use lots if similies's to describe the protagonists features, but perhaps too many. It gets to a point where there is too much comparison and it takes away the personality of a character, in my opinion. For instance the description of the eyes could just be 'darkened eyes' rather than 'as', the constant use of the word 'as' is not too affective in a poem. Unless you want there to be purposeful repetition, that links in with the context and form of a poem, then go ahead. But I think in this case you need to vary description and form of the poem.

The structure is good, but basic. If you changed around the structure, and made it more interesting to read, it may make it flow better.

I also think you question yourself 1 too many times at the end, you drag it a bit too long the question, because you asked yourself the same thing at the start, and now your repeating it again.

But otherwise its a nice poem, still needs quite a bit of work though!

To me this seems like quite a dark piece of writing, that brightens up towards the end. The start begins with a protagonist doubting his/her person, as to who they are.

The descriptions you you put forward seem to contradict the phrase at the start "I see an empty soul", because the description is quite colourful. And when you say "soul" it would generally incline a person mental as well as physical state; you have plenty of body descriptions that were colourful, but perhaps you could have had more descriptions on an aspect from the mind. I think it would round the poem off a lot better if you covered both sides.

The rest of the poem aside from that is good, you use lots if similies's to describe the protagonists features, but perhaps too many. It gets to a point where there is too much comparison and it takes away the personality of a character, in my opinion. For instance the description of the eyes could just be 'darkened eyes' rather than 'as', the constant use of the word 'as' is not too affective in a poem. Unless you want there to be purposeful repetition, that links in with the context and form of a poem, then go ahead. But I think in this case you need to vary description and form of the poem.

The structure is good, but basic. If you changed around the structure, and made it more interesting to read, it may make it flow better.

I also think you question yourself 1 too many times at the end, you drag it a bit too long the question, because you asked yourself the same thing at the start, and now your repeating it again.

But otherwise its a nice poem, still needs quite a bit of work though!

This was, really good and we are about the same age so it was relatable, i could learn from you i loved how you gave me imagery and created a picture , that was really good. Im excited to hear more

Hi Adriana12Alexis!

i love this poem because of the rhymes and how it's not only about it's title. i hope you write more poems.

Im not the best reviewer but i'll try my best. I can relate easily with this poem. Love it. I believe the concept I can extract from this poem is doubt of what the person is seeing of itself. It sees its body but not them when they see themselves or think of themselves as a person. And then in the end it makes me think that, eventhough, the person it's still missing a part of them, they'd prefare to stay as they are than to keep losing part of them. You might be missing a few commas here and there but, overall, still a great poem. And maybe my view of this poem might be not exactly what you were aiming for but I'll tell you what.. this inspires me. So keep writing, you just gained a follower.