Red

Hey there Adriana! I'll be reviewing this for you today.

So, I'll start off by saying, your concept is absolutely brilliant, but the whole flow of the poem does not do the idea justice. You should work on the way you word things, ending every stanza with "So..." Is not the ideal way to go, but it's a starting point, and with some practise, we can make this poem a very wonderful piece with a very creative concept.

Red is the color of blood,
blood means pain,
So red is the color of pain

Yes, red is the colour of blood. Blood can cause pain, but it does not always mean pain. To make this stanza more meaningful, you should compare the redness to something, use a simile or a metaphor? Become more creative in your choice of vocabulary! With some tweaking, this will be a lovely opening stanza.

Red is the color of our hearts,
our heart is where love comes from,
So red is the color of love.

A nice follow up from the starting point, but again, we have the very sharp, simple and quick way of describing things. You never want too little detail. If vauge is what you are looking for, then this is a tad too bare. You need to spice it up a bit, add some emotion to everything. Make it feel as though what you are saying is in relation to what you feel. Try and make it personal.

Our red hearts are covered in red blood,
blood means pain,
and our heart is love comes from,
So red is the color of painful love.

I think you mean "and our heart is where love comes from,"
The part in bold, is getting there at being very good, 'painful love' good way to go, just be a bit more intricate in your detail and description. Also, you do not need the capital 'S' after a comma, so either replace the capital letter with a lowercase, or replace the comma with a full stop.

Our red hearts, covered in red blood,
Have blue veins,
Blue is the color of tears,
tears are sad,
So blue is the color of sadness.

Like I said, I love the concept of the poem, and with this stanza, it shines through why I love it so much. You are linking everything together so well! It's just the lack of detail and emotion that makes the poem that bit less enjoyable.

Our red hearts,
Are covered in red blood,
And have blue veins,
So purple is the color of sad, painful love.

This is a nice way to link together the two previous colours. So, well done.

There is no yellow on our hearts.
Yellow is the color of sunshine,
sunshine embodies happiness,
So yellow is the color of happiness.

Why is there no yellow?

A nice way to end it, and good vocab word! "embodies" I like the way you fit it in. The only issue? You don't use the same language in the rest of the poem.


Okay, so overall, great concept and this seriously has major potential. With little tweaks to be made: detail, description and emotion. Fit in some techniques! Make the poem something that is meaningful to you.

So, I liked it, let me know if you need any extra help, I'll gladly help you tweak it and make it become something amazing, I have faith in you!

Keep writing! You have a lot of potential with such genius concepts.
Well done,

-Clarity'xo