Adventures you give to me,
As I flip the pages,
And the pages swish and swash,
With the fresh smell of paper.
I can travel anywhere,
From the Atlantic Ocean to
A magic carpet ride.
I owe you for all the information
You give me.
Thank you for all the tears and all the joy.
At times, you were my only friend.
You are my best friend, always.
Thank you books, I do appreciate thee.
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Canary word: Present
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I really like the word "swash" I will have to use that at some point. I dislike how you said "With the fresh smell of paper." I prefer the smell of old paper and new paper shouldn't be the only one there. You say "I owe you for all the information
You give me. "
What about the inter webs? that has a lot of info on it to be discovered.
Beside those, I really like this and can easily relate to this (although not exactly).
However. You DID write this on the internet and not a book so.... take that as you will.
A really nice poem though
Hello, CapitalMonday giving you a review from the nest. I would first like to say, that this is true to everyone who has read a book in their life. The books give us fuel to our imagination and let our writing take flight.. The authors are like a friend we never see and we read notes that they leave us (big ones at that). Also how one book can take you halfway around the world, in less then in 4 chapters in. You can make up characters and how they might look, feel, or how they might laugh.
The adventures we go on are in our head as we set forth on a new day and a new time where we can read a book in one day or maybe a week (if it is really good and long.) These books gives us inspiration for what we could write and how we could express put feeling a little better in our own way. The books of today will be the daydreams tomorrow.
Hope you enjoy this little "review" or something..
CapitalMonday
PS: I love to read every book that I can find or I can put my hands on.
Hey, Katya! Thewriter13 here for a review!
I'm bored and I haven't reviewed any of your pieces yet, so I am excited!So I'll go through nitpicks first, then praise, and then what can be worked on.
Let's get started, shall we?
So I like this metaphor, but you repeat "pages" twice.
To avoid this repetition I would write "they swish and swash"
Can one really travel to a magic carpet ride?
So this is a tiny bit redundant since you say 'friend" twice.
Maybe "At time, you were my only companion."
Only a suggestion
Praise
So I LOVED the topic here
It was a great ode to books and I appreciated it very much!
I lurve books so muchhhh
So just work on those things I mentioned and great job! This poem has a lot of potential. I would try adding more emotion to it and passion
keep writing, KATYA
I'm not sure how good I am at reviewing poems, but here goes. I really like this poem, especially since I relate a whole lot to it. One of my favorite things was the use of 'swish and swash' because they're silly onomonopoeic words used in poems like "the Jobberwockey", and that's always nice. I have a couple nitpicks though. The first thing that really bothered me was the repetition of the word 'friend' in the next to last two lines. It sounds a bit contradictory the way they are. The second is, while the last line is lovely, 'thee' doesn't go very well with casual tone of the rest of the poem. Those are really all I had problems with. The poem flowed nicely and the majority of the words were well chosen. Keep writing!
Thanks for the review!
Mkay... Hi, there, I'm going to give you a very short review.
I'm not completely sure you can travel to a magic carpet ride... Like maybe its like a bus stop? So you travel to where the magic carpet ride is boarding/loading?
I think you can take out the "and". It would make it seem more poetic.
This part about friends doesn't make much sense to me. I suggest playing with it to fix it up.
So, besides that, I thought this was a pretty good poem! After all—we all appreciate and love books, now don't we?
Hope this helps!
WillowPaw1~
Thanks, so much Willow!
^_^
I'm not a fan of free-verse poems, so....
This is good. And pretty straightforward. Books appear to have been the only thing in your life at certain times, and you're thanking them. I really didn't notice any spelling errors. Great job! I wish I read as many books as you appear to have done.
Oh, and the turtle in your pic is adorable.
I found it in my yard!
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
I live in a forest so we see cute stuff all the time. Like I saw a chipmunk today. Then again, I saw like 10 wasps as big as that turtle in the picture, flying around. (yikes)
At least spiders can't fly.... *shudders*
I may have completed your nightmare. There are some things that fly around here that look a lot like spiders. 0_)