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Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

The Darkness

by Abditory


Sometimes, we cannot see the light that burns so bright because we have been in darkness for so long that we have gone blind. We waltz aimlessly around in the darkness that swallows us whole, wanting to escape but not knowing. We want to ask for help but fear being a bother.

And when you finally find someone pull you out of the sorrow you've created, the hole you've dug so deep with ladder, they trick you. They grab your hand and promise to pull you out, but once you've gotten comfortable with them, they throw you back in.

After a while, you stop trusting. You close yourself off from the world, not wanting anyone else to bruise and break you, to take your scars and burn them to the ground. You're back. Back in that that you had finally escaped, except now you have completely blocked out what little of the world you knew, not wanting anyone to see this pain. You dig deeper and deeper into the hole, as though there is no escape, no way to leave once you've been down here.

you see it. The light. That light... it's her. She have come to save you. You don't want help, but she do not stop trying. You don't want to anymore, you don't want to love. But slowly, you open your heart to her.

She hold your heart in her hands. You tense up, knowing what comes next, expecting her to break it and throw it back at you. But she don't. She embraces' your heart with hug, and you feel warmth spreading like fire through your veins. Slowly, that heart was broken and frail, showing no signs of being healed and loved again, begins to flow like an ocean crashing upon a shore.

She put your heart back in its place and take hold of you wrapping you in her arms and holding you close to her heart. So... this, this what love is? Feeling a sense of warmth with just the slightest touch, not caring about the silence anymore because they are all the sound you need. Knowing, just knowing they'll be there for even in the darkest times.

"You've need to lock yourself in this darkness anymore, love. I'm here."


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5 Reviews


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Wed Sep 27, 2023 7:06 pm
WritersUnlock wrote a review...



Good afternoon Abditory!! I'm here with a review >w< (I hope my interpretation of your story is correct if not tell me if I'm wrong haha)


I love how you captured the emotional journey of the protagonist who has been ensnared their own pain, (At least I think) clearly they're hesitant to trust and embrace love once more. Your story also portrays the gradual unraveling of their walls when an unexpected savior enters their life, armed with compassion and support. (The knight in shining armor ;D)

Through your metaphors and vivid imagery, from the initial fear towards vulnerability, to the flicker of hope that spreads within your protagonist's heart.

For me your story serves as a reminder that even in my darkest moments, there are people (whether it be family, lovers or friends) who can ignite the flame within us, helping us find the strength to heal and grow!!

That's all for now, keep on writing! I'd love to read more of your stories!

With much love,

WritersUnlock <3




Abditory says...


Thank you for reviewing WritersUnlock!

And you were pretty on-point with your interpretation, there were kind of two themes for my story, one being what you pointed out, and also being in a toxic relationship and finding a way out ("The knight in shining armor" as you said haha)

Again thank you for reviewing and hopefully I'll write more stories in the future.

That's all for now, "Abditory."



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Tue Sep 26, 2023 9:04 pm
IcyFlame wrote a review...



Hey abditory! Icy here for a quick review on your short story. I’m typing on an iPad after a lot of travelling so hoping my comments still make sense, but let me know if you need any further clarification.

I think this works well being this length, because of how vague it is in general. The second person narrative kind of gives us something to hold onto, but a lot of the descriptions are purposely vague and just out of reach of understanding.

The confusing aspect of this for me was the mysterious ‘they’. In the start, they seem to be a bad thing/person(?) who deceives and tricks and who will generally cause pain but by the end they’re lifting out of the pain and bringing love and light. Is the ‘they’ at the beginning the same as the one at the end? If yes, then what change do they undergo to make them a salvation rather than a means to bring pain. Or is it about how ‘you’ view them?

I’m also not sure what the intention of this piece was. The writing was enjoyable to read, but I was left not really understanding what I should be taking away from it. I think a slightly clearer theme could help with that.

Thanks for sharing!

Icy




Abditory says...


Hello Icy, sorry for not getting back to you till now, I've been a bit busy with school :,D

So I just wanted to clear some stuff up, first the "They" in the beginning is a different person from the "they" in the end. (btw I meant to change the "They" at the end to "Her" but I forgot to do so when I posted it, so sorry.)

And the intention of the piece was to portray slowly digging a hole for yourself because of one person (like when your so stuck on someone who doesn't love you or uses you for their own benefit and you can't let go.)

But finally after they throw you back in this "hole you've dug with no way out" you decide to let go, but now you feel empty and alone because you have no one to lean on/love. (The "They" in the beginning)

Then the "They" (I changed it to "her" so I hope that helps.) come to save you and get you out of the hole you got yourself into, basically being your "light."

And if you read the last few lines, the main protagonist starts understanding what love truly is. ("Feeling a sense of warmth with just the slightest touch, etc.")

So I hope that helped a little bit and I'm so sorry for this being for lengthy, also thank you for leaving a review and giving me feedback.

That's all for now, "Abditory"



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Tue Sep 26, 2023 8:52 pm
vampricone6783 wrote a review...



That ending was so sweet…I loved it. It seems like there is only Hell that awaits, until that one person shows up to help you out. It is hard for the one in darkness to trust and it is hard for the person to keep staying. But it will work out if it is worth it.

I have enjoyed reading this story. I hope that you will have a very fantastic and fabulous day/night.




Abditory says...


Thank you for reviewing! :D



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