It has been so warm lately
Like summer's almost here
The sun is shining
Birds are singing
It's makes me want to cheer
I've been waiting for a while
For this season to arrive
So I can take off my jacket
And put on a dress
And happily go outside
And when the school year's over
I'll be out there with my friends
Having fun
Beneath the sun
Until summer ends
But right now it's still raining
So the trees and flowers will grow
I hope they'll all bloom
Soon, by June
When it's time for me to go
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140,790 Literary Works • 673,688 Reviews
Hey AS04! First of all, welcome to YWS. Hope you're having a good time here.
Your poem is sweet and refreshing like summer itself. It reads well except for a few places where I feel you could possibly use better words. Like I can find in between you have started 3 sentences with "And" one after another. There's nothing wrong with that, just maybe it becomes a little repetitive. Also, you definitely need to work on your punctuation. You rhyming scheme keeps on varying, but I guess that's alright since poetry allows some freedom in that. Since this poem is about nature and summer, I strongly feel you should have made use of imageries, metaphors etc and other literary devices. This could have made the reader connect with the poem more.
But overall I feel you have done a good job in expressing your topic. Just a few changes and I'm sure this would become even better.
Happy writing!
Hey AS04! First of all, welcome to YWS. Hope you're having a good time here.
Your poem is sweet and refreshing like summer itself. It reads well except for a few places where I feel you could possibly use better words. Like I can find in between you have started 3 sentences with "And" one after another. There's nothing wrong with that, just maybe it becomes a little repetitive. Also, you definitely need to work on your punctuation. Your rhyming scheme keeps on varying, but I guess that's alright since poetry allows some freedom in that. Since this poem is about nature and summer, I strongly feel you should have made use of imageries, metaphors etc and other literary devices. This could have made the reader connect with the poem more.
But overall I feel you have done a good job in expressing your topic. Just a few changes and I'm sure this would become even better.
Happy writing!
HI!!! I'm Gig, here with a review for you!
Great poem! I think you captured the essence of Summer, perfectly. I personally can really relate to this because I live in Texas..if you know what I mean by that. One thing that I would say improve would be your use of punctuation. I know that in poetry that's a little difficult, but I noticed that you did use some in places that were needed great job on that. I think that some places you could've used more punctuation to make those stand out more.
"And when the school year's over
I'll be out there with my friends
Having fun
Beneath the sun
Until summer ends"
That would be a place where I would insert some punctuation just to make those memories stand out.
Great job, overall though! I really enjoyed your poem
Keep Writing
~Gigi, The Jesus Freak