A Rift Between Magi: Chapter 2

by ANADIR

Published June 24, 2016

12+

In A Rift Between Magi

The club was packed full of people and Rick guessed that about half of them were either selling or buying something illegal. Mr. Stevenson made a beeline for the bar and Rick hurried to keep up with him.

“Your friends, Jen and Nick. Both of them are now officially dead.” Mr. Stevenson said casually.

Rick stumbled. “What did you just say?”

Mr. Stevenson ignored Rick’s reaction and casually sat down at the bar to order a drink.

“Jen and Nick. According to any transcript you’ll ever be able to find, they are dead.”

“I can’t believe that they’re gone. Jen was a fighter. She wouldn’t go down without a fight. There would have at least been some news coverage of the fight.” Rick snapped and turned to leave.

“Sit down, boy. I agree with you. I don’t believe either of them is actually dead.” Mr. Stevenson said.

Rick looked baffled. “You just said they were.”

“No. I said that they were dead according to any transcripts. But I’m afraid you can’t believe those anymore. And private investigators aren’t going to help you either, since both of them are officially dead.”

Rick sighed. “So you’re saying I’ll never find out what happened to them?”

“On the contrary. I’ll gladly help you out. I’m going to need a few things out of you though.” Mr. Stevenson grinned at Rick.

Rick slammed his hands on the table, startling everyone around them. Rick ignored them. “I’ll do whatever it takes. I’m going to find out what happened.”

Mr. Stevenson’s face split into a grin that looked like a hungry crocodile. “Very good, Mr. Adronus. Then, let us begin. Please hold this.”

He threw the staff into the air, and Rick lunged to catch it. The moment his hand wrapped around the rough wood, a piercing pain exploded through his arm and his mouth opened in a silent scream.

Through the pain, he could vaguely hear Mr. Stevenson telling people that he had too much to drink. Rick wanted to open his mouth and say he was still too young, but then remembered that in a place like this, nobody cared.

The pain intensified again, and he hunched over in pain. The staff split into two pieces with a loud crack, and the pain suddenly disappeared. Gasping, Rick rolled over onto his back. Mr. Stevenson’s grinning face loomed over him.

Slowly, Rick stood up and leaned on the counter. “Care to explain what just happened?” Rick hissed at him.

Mr. Stevenson laughed. “Simply marvelous, boy. You took to the Virus very well.”
“Virus? What did you do to me?” Rick yelled.

Mr. Stevenson’s smile disappeared, and he waved his hand. Instantly, the loud music and chatter around them disappeared. Rick spun in a circle. All around them, people were frozen in place. The bartender held a bottle of wine in mid pour, the wine still frozen in the air.

“What did you do?” Rick started backing away from Mr. Stevenson.

“Calm down, boy. This was the best way to show you. Don’t use that glare on me; I just gave you what you need to save your friends.”

Rick waved his hands around at the frozen people. “Shut up! Gah, what on earth is happening? How did you do this?”

Mr. Stevenson chuckled. “This is what the Virus did to me. I can stop time. Unfortunately, I can’t actually affect anything. I just pass through anything I touch.”

Rick slowly sat down on a chair. “You’re telling me that you’re like the X-men? You mutated or something?”

Mr. Stevenson burst out laughing. “Mutated? No, not at all. I was never human. I am the spawn of an Angel and a human. The bonding was much like how the ancient stories spoke of the conception of Jesus, albeit a much lesser scale. That has allowed me to live a longer time than you could ever imagine, and has also granted me this power.”

Rick grunted. “I guess I have no choice but to believe what you say for now. But what does that have to do with a virus?”

“Not just a virus. The Virus. It goes into your genetics and changes up a few things. Nothing too important.”

“Just what did it change? And why did you give it to me?” Rick asked.

“Let’s just say you shouldn’t go to any hospitals, they might never let you out. And I gave it to you because you have traces of the Great Line within you. Of course, they’re very small and extremely diluted, but you’re the only one left that fits what I need.”

“What is the Great Line? And what traits do I have that you want?”

Mr. Stevenson grinned. “If you were to trace your ancestry far back, you would go all the way back to King David. He was the greatest Maji to ever walk the earth. His genes are still within you, no matter how diluted they may be. However, there are many people with slight traces of him in them. What makes you different from everyone else is that somewhere down in your family tree, a Magi joined in. That means you have the genes of both the Maji and the Magi.”

“What’s the difference between a Magi and a Maji?” Rick asked.

“The Magi bargain with the elements. They are the wizards in modern day stories. Those with pure Magi blood can physically communicate with any element and ally with it. However, if they didn’t stay parallel to the wishes of the element, it can abandon them and leave them as weak as a normal human. The Maji had complete control over a single aspect. It didn’t have to be an element. For example, King David had utter control over sound.”

Rick shrugged. “Sounds all good and dandy. So why can’t I speak with the fireplace or something?”

Mr. Stevenson rolled his eyes. “Have you been listening? I said pure blood. Your blood, up until right now, was extremely diluted. However, the Virus I gave you just ripped apart your weak genes, multiplying and leaving only the genes of the Maji and the Magi. The Maji blood will overpower your Magi one, so while you will be able to communicate with some elements, you won’t be able to talk with all of them. On the other hand, your Maji control will be something quite powerful.”

Rick stared at the wall quietly for a few minutes. “Why did you give this to me? Why not somewhere earlier in my family tree?”

Mr. Stevenson sighed. “I did give it to them. Whenever there was at least one extra person that could die without ending your line, I applied the Virus to them. You are the first one to live through it.”

Rick started. “You’ve been killing my family off?”

“I prefer the term ‘breeding’, if you don’t mind.” Mr. Stevenson replied.

Rick jumped at him, but he just flew right through, landing on the floor.

“I told you nothing can be affected in here. But I understand how angry you are. I’ll leave you soon, after one last piece of advice. If you don’t want to, you’ll never see me again. Ok?”

Rick took a few deep breaths. “Very well. Get on with it.”

Mr. Stevenson heaved a sigh. “Be very careful of who you trust. If you suspect someone even slightly, expect an attack from them at any time. For example, your friend Jen was a Magi. She had a special affinity for earth, but was considered quite a prodigy by the Magi community. And Nicholas was a Maji. He could control light. However, Nicholas was working for the same organization that the man who attacked you a year ago was. Jen didn’t know until it was too late.”

Rick jumped up. “What happened to Jen? You know, don’t you?”

Mr. Stevenson nodded sadly. He tossed Rick a little box. A small spike emerged from one end of it.

“Grip that firmly and it will tell you what your Maji power is. Keep it hidden as long as you can. As far as everyone else should be concerned, you’re just a mortal who happened to find some hidden information. Got it?”

Rick pressed his thumb into the spike, hissing slightly when it broke skin.

“I understand. But why are you doing this? What’s your motive?”

Mr. Stevenson shrugged. “It amuses me. After this, make haste to the alley behind La Dance. If you don’t, you’ll regret it.”

There was a pop, and time resumed. Rick leapt to his feet and nearly dropped the little box. He pulled the spike out of his thumb and turned it over. There was a tiny word written across the bottom of the box.

Puppet Master

Rick shrugged and dashed the box across the floor, shattering it into thousands of little pieces. He turned to all the people looking at him and shrugged.

“It owed me money.”

There was a little laughter, and everyone turned back away from him. Drugs were obliviously more interesting than an underage drunk kid. A quick glance showed Rick that Mr. Stevenson was gone. He pushed his way past the crowd and kicked open the back doors, stumbling out into the cold night.

“Is anyone here?” he called out.

There was a muffled curse from somewhere down the alley, and a gust of wind shot caressed Rick. He ran into the alley and found himself lying face down on the ground when he tripped over something warm.

He scrambled to his feet and looked back. Someone was lying face down in the alley, and they didn’t look like they were breathing. Rick heaved the body over to see if the person was still alive and nearly screamed.

“Holy crap! Jen, what happened to you?”

She was covered in bruises and long cuts, and her clothes were seriously damaged. Rick put his ear to her chest to listen for a heartbeat. There was a faint thump, but it didn’t sound like it was going to last much longer.

“Jen, can you hear me?” Rick asked.

She groaned softly and Rick exhaled in relief.

“I’ll get you to a hospital right away.”

Her hand shot up and grabbed him by the collar.

“No hospital. Please.”

Rick looked sadly at her. Mr. Stevenson’s story was starting to get reinforced. She really was a Magi. Rick gently pulled her hand off of his collar and lifted her into the air. He rushed out of the alley and leapt into his car, only taking time to make sure Jen was secured safely across the back seat.

He never went below twenty miles over the speed limit before he reached his apartment. He ripped the passenger door open and pulled Jen out. Then he ran for his room, not even bothering to lock his car. He fumbled with the keys for a moment, cursed at them, and they suddenly leapt into the socket. Not bothering to question it, he kicked the door open and slammed it shut behind him once he got in.

Rick gently laid Jen down on his bed and hurried into his bathroom to get disinfectant and alcohol. After thoroughly rubbing and dressing all of her wounds he flopped back in his couch. A quick search on the internet only told him to bring Jen to the hospital immediately. He closed the computer in disgust and flopped back on his couch.

“I’m not sure how much I can do without a hospital. I just hope this is enough.”

Jen made a noise on the bed and Rick jumped up. He leaned closer to her and her fist planted itself in his stomach.

“Ow! What did you do that for?” He sputtered.

“You should have stayed out of it.” She said in a voice barely above a whisper.

Rick gently grabbed her wrist and pushed her hand away from him. “Maybe I would have, had you not gotten beaten half to death. I didn’t know you could do that to Magi.”

She tried to sit up, but Rick pushed her back down.

“Sleep. You can explain it all to me in the morning. And don’t even think about trying to hop out the window or something in the night. They’re all locked and I’m not falling asleep.”

Jen gave him an unreadable gaze and eventually let out a sigh.

“All right. I’ll listen to you- just this once.”

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
Eac101 Review
Eac101 wrote a review Review · Jun 26, 2016

Hey! I'm back from reviewing your first chapter! Lets get started!

This story is shaping up to be something really special. It's brimming with originality and creative concepts. I love the idea of the Magi and the Maji, and the existence of angels hints towards some really cool elements. The story itself doesn't seem that original - a fairly normal guy finds out about the existence of magic/magic people and gets sweet powers - but if it's done well, it can be very good.

There were no big grammatical errors, but I noticed towards the end there was one problem.

"After thoroughly rubbing and dressing all of her wounds he flopped back in his couch. A quick search on the internet only told him to bring Jen to the hospital immediately. He closed the computer in disgust and flopped back on his couch."

If he's already flopped back on the couch, then how can he flop back on again? Also, you used in instead of on the first time you said it. I know this is just a nitpick, but maybe you could word those three sentences a bit differently to let it flow smoother.

The characters just keep getting more interesting, and they have really cool powers too! Plus the mystery element gets hyped up in this scene. What happened the Jen? Why exactly is Mr. Stevenson doing all this? What happens next?

You've got me hooked. I await the next chapter.

~Eac101

ANADIR replied · Jun 27, 2016

Thanks! It looks like I wanted to lie down a bit too much when I was writing that part. :P
I'll upload the next few chapters as soon as I can. I appreciate the reviews.

User avatar
StarGazer
Review
StarGazer wrote a review Review · Jun 26, 2016

Hello! I just came from the first part of this. The story is really picking up pace now, isn't it? The entire introduction scene works well here as we get aquatinted with this world through Rick. The "friend being powerful" idea was obviously wrong, as Puppet Master has quite a powerful ring to it. You'd think Mr. Stevenson would be a bit more helpful. Leaving a kid with magic powers and no idea how to use them is never good. I liked the bit about killing off the family tree. It made the story seem real instead of set in a fantasy world where no one can die. I guess in this bit you clarified my question about age. Would a kid under 21 really be employed as a bodyguard? I guess he's a really good fighter. My only other critique is finding Jen. Finding her was his entire purpose, the whole point of this story. Giving her to us like this is invalidating his worries and his new powers. It would be better to have him have to search for her. Have him find Nicholas instead, or no one at all. Obviously the most important next step is to learn his powers. If the people coming after him are powerful, he'll need to be too. I assume that's why Jen is here. If so, it would have been better to have Mr. Stevenson teach him, find another person to teach him, or learn it himself. If she was sent to move the plot along, it would be better to try it a different way. You don't have to take any of this advice, it's just what I would do in your shoes. This story is turning out interesting. Nice job!

ANADIR replied · Jun 26, 2016

Thanks a lot! Some of these will also be answered in further chapters. And finding Jen was actually not the entire purpose of the story. Rick thought that would be the end of it, but other things roll along. And finding Nicolas would probably be the last thing either of them want to do. If you're interested, ill be posting some more of the story later on. I currently have six chapters written. :)

Oh, good! I do want to see more! I assumed finding Jen was the point because that was what he was focused on, but seeing your comment that the man didn't take her makes me change my mind. Looking forwards to seeing where this goes!



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