Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,955 Literary Works • 676,157 Reviews
text version:
Spoiler
one. dinnertimedinnertimedinnertime
i remember the first time they made me (not me) eat
meat. they (them) sat around, their teeth gone
orange in the candlelight (it was my fifth birthday).
i knew they were monsters who
wanted to peel my skin off
like a grape and pop me into the pink
flesh of their mouths.
i did not like to chew. i only liked
to swallow small spoonfuls of strawberry
yoghurt.
(my great-great grandmother
tore at her own flesh and ate herself
in the moonlight, howling. (was she me?)
every piece that ripped through my
throat was like a part of her. chunks
of red flesh in a warm copper soup.)
i don’t remember my birth, but i know that they plucked me (inside out)
from my cradle and replaced me with
a baby whose mouth was a red seam.
they carried me through the hedges
by the scruff, like a rabbit.
my (real) mother eats nuts and
raspberries. my m(other) eats
(me) in small spoonfuls,
the way i ate yoghurt.
1. (to be wanted and to be eaten are one verb in their language.)
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the malicious S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - This poem is about a child who lives with a family of cannibals. These cannibals might have stolen the child from another family or perhaps this child feels stolen or wants to believe they are stolen. And yet still, they wish to be loved.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I have no recommendations to make as of right now, but if you would like to edit this, you may.
Chocolate Bar - There’s a lot about this poem that I like. One thing I like is the imagery of eating and red flesh, being compared to eating strawberry yogurt. The child still eats red but not the red that is apart of the human body. I also like that to be wanted and to be eaten is seen as the same thing, because I could see that this child does want to be loved, but is time spent with this family having them see that being loved is being consumed/taken completely?
Closing Graham Cracker - Overall, a rather gruesome poem. I have enjoyed reading this and I will be certain to read the other poems in this horror collection. I wonder if they are all different stories or somehow connected into one story? Hmm…
I wish you a fantastical day/night! ^v^