for the first time
i can believe it
this has got to be
what love is
what love feels like
it's halfway indescribable
half of it, i truly believe,
is the way you make me feel
the way my heart sings and stops
the way my heart pounds loudly out of my chest
yet it pounds calmly, comfortably
the way i can feel nervous butterflies in my stomach
yet when i am around you
how could i be anything but comfortable
it is like i was
meant to be here
like i was led to be here at this point in time
like i was meant to fall in love with you
without knowing any of it was happening
until one night i almost said 'i love you' because that's how i felt
that's how i feel
when i don't want to let you go when we hug
when you caress my hand
and tell me i am
soft
little do you know
you begin to describe me in ways i have never seen myself
soft,
i've never been soft
not my skin, not my heart, not my lungs, not my personality
not until i met you
you say things that send my my heart through the galaxies and multiverse
you say things that ground me
when i look at you i never want to look away
your eyes speak to me and they tell me
you are love
you hold my heart
...
i tell you
'i can't wait until you fall in love with me,
i can't wait to watch you fall in love with me'
i can't tell you that you hear my eyes speak to you
the way yours do to me
i can't tell you that when you are around me
it's almost as if nothing else exists
i can't tell you that when we have conversations
everything is muddy yet clear
i can't tell you that long after you caress my hand
your touch lingers
i can't tell you that you are constantly thinking of me
i can't tell you everything that i feel for you, you feel for me
not yet,
i wish i could
i wish i could show you
...
for now
i'll wait
wait to watch you fall in love with me
you may be in love with me and love me now
but i have not seen you fall in love with me
yet
so i'll hope
and i'll wait
...
i'm not very religious
but i pray
that you look at me the way
i've seen two other people look at each other
just once
if you look at me the way they looked at each other
then i can not have asked for anything more
if you look at me and other people see it and see what i saw between them--
nothing but eyes who speak of
radiating love--
then yes,
i am perfectly okay with waiting
for you to fall in love with me
whether it is a slow process or not
i am okay with waiting
because i was hit without knowing what was to come
but i am happy
constantly happy
when you are on my mind
when you are around
you linger in my thoughts and on my skin
i can't help but write poems about
how you make me feel
thank you.
you made me happy
i haven't been happy in a long time.
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Hello!! Authorian here for a review!
My favorite was the part like 'I pray you look at me the way people do when they're in love. '. This whole thing is incredibly pure <3 If this is based on real life, I hope everything works out for you and your love
If anything, I'd suggest looking at your use of punctuation and working on it a little, as it is slightly inconsistent. Overall, keep up the great work!
This is such a beautiful poem! I loved the different stanzas and flowing, shifting style. It reminded me a lot of when me and my boyfriend first started falling in love, it's amazing
Thank you so much, I hope everything goes well with him too ha ha! As for punctuation, I do agree with your comment about it being inconsistent. I am not too fond of putting punctuation into my poetry since I feel as if I've developed a certain 'style' to my poetry which i apologize for, given the fact that I really am the only one who understands it ha ha. Well in any news, this is actually the first poem of mine that I added punctuation to so your feedback helps me to figure out whether or not to include it in my other poems.
Hey there! This was sweet and I like how you portrayed the speaker growing into their emotions. Congratulations on your first poem on the site! I look forward to reading more of your work in the future!
Thank you so very much, I look forward to sharing some of my other poems and hope to hear from you soon about those as well!
Dear 4cheyenne,
Hello! My name is Bailey and I'm here to review your poem!
I'm just going to start off with my critiquing comments and then tell you my happy thoughts on your work, because I hate ending a review on a bad note.
I loved your poem, though I feel as though perhaps it would be neat with some imagery. Maybe some metaphors to help explain how it really FEELS to be in love. Love is hard to explain, since it seems to be everything at once, which you were able to mention in the poem, but I feel some metaphors would really help you out! Though, you do not need to include them to get your point across.
Some lines seem to end off and start again right in the middle of the sentence, which causes the reader to make an unnecessary pause when reading. Such as "and tell me i am / soft" I think a way that you could make it a little easier to read is by writing "and tell me i am... / soft" by putting three periods, just to show almost as if the character is thinking or trying to find the right word. You could put them on the same line, but I would recommend that you italicize "soft" if you do, because the importance of the word is necessary, and I think that was what you were trying to achieve, making it stand out a little more by placing it on a different line.
I don't have a lot of bad notes for this poem. It was obviously a personal poem, which makes it all the better, though I still think you should add in some metaphors, put in some imagery, just to make it all the more real. It didn't give off the feeling of love that I was expecting. Though, you did pretty well.
I hope to see your username again in the poetry section. Keep writing!
Have a good day/night! (whichever applies)
Sincerely, Bailey Matwiiw
Thank you so much for this review, it was helpful to me. Though I don't expect to look for much when reading a critique about my poetry, since I am writing for myself rather than for an audience, (I just so happened to share this poem) I did appreciate the feedback. I feel as if I have developed my own 'style' of freeverse which includes the way I choose to start each line, if that makes sense. To be clear, I was not trying to convey a certain type of 'love' given the fact that I am very aware that everyone's thoughts and feelings come in all shapes and sizes and mine tend to be out of the 'norm' and not as romantic as I'd even expect ha ha either way I do appreciate your feedback and will consider applying some of your notes and hope to hear back from you soon about my other poetry (that is when I share those poems)
I totally see where you are coming from by saying that you write for yourself more than the audience. When I write poetry I do the same thing. I think poetry is more delicate, because it is straight from the author's mind and if they see it a certain way no one can really alter that. I hope my notes were helpful otherwise, and I do hope to see more of your poetry!
Thank you, I look forward to your reviews on those later on!