Death. A word used to frighten. What is it we are afraid of? It is most likely the unknown. Death, murder, and cruel tortuorus words spoken with venom. Poison to the mind but it is the thoughts that follow these words that are much more frightening than the words themselves. The words are nothing more than words, it is our brains that make them so much more.
Murder. Is it always a bad thing? Is it always wrong to kill? What if it is for the better of many people? Will the killer be just as bad as the person they killed? What if it was your only chance, your only way of survival? Will murder ever be okay? These are questions I know no answer to. They send my brain swirling around. If you think you have the answer it is likely that your answer is wrong. Why? Well think about it some more. Think of everything that could possibly happen surrounding the death. If you take all of these into consideration then there will probably never be an answer. Things surrounding the death are done in the moment. Some things you cannot understand until you are the problem. The answers you look for may be revealed once the act is done but even then the solution will vary greatly. And there is always still a chance that you could have been wrong. The world may not be ready to reveal these answers to us but we not stop questioning. Think about death tonight before you sleep and think about the life you will destroy tomorrow when you wake.
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125,013 Literary Works • 672,844 Reviews
Timmy here for a short review!
Ok, so this was really cool. I love how you describe everything... If you worked on this a little and broke it up into stanzas, this could be poetry! Because it is very beautifully descript and has a wonderful story to it!
My favorite part would have to be this:
Ok, now I shall hit a few nitpicks!
First of all, I think this could use breaking up into separate paragraphs. Think of a paragraph as an idea. Like an extremely long sentence. Once that separate idea has been stated and you are moving on to a separate idea, then start a new paragraph.
So you can see in that sentence, I changed the spelling of torturous and added a comma, as well as putting in an and instead of a comma.
Alright, that sums up my nitpicks! Very good story! An awesome one to kickstart your life on YWS! Keep writing!
~Timmyjake
Thank you very much for your awesome review. This was very helpful. I am definitely still trying to work out kinks and this was a great help. I am really glad that you liked my story. Thank you!
You're welcome!
Hey..!
First of all, welcome to YWS.
Now to the review...interesting topic you have chosen here: Death. I liked the piece. It speaks clearly of you as a person. Your thought, ideas, views are expressed with so much clarity here. I personally enjoy reading about death, and what people think of it as, because it is the kind of thing that holds different meanings for all. It can be a relief, a blessing, or a curse, or simple natural phenomena. Like I read somewhere, "Some people fear death, others pray for it." I liked the idea that death may not give any answers. The last line makes you sit up and think. It's a great way to end such a piece, the last line makes sure the reader won't forget this for a long time, which is a very good thing. I, for one, am sure that I'm going to think about this for a few nights now when I go to bed. Readers will remember your work. What better achievement for a writer!
All- in- all, I found this to be an interesting piece. Great Work!
Keep writing.
Thank you very much again I just replied to your other review so I will try to keep this one short and sweet. I am very happy that you like it. Death is something I like to question as I am sure you can tell but it is also something that makes me feel like I have no control so it interests me a lot. I am very happy that my work managed to make an impression. Thank you for your review.
You talk of death and murder, it sounds like they are one and the same. That is not true, the elders embrace death once it comes because they know it is time. You talk of how humans would question death and how it effects us and the answers we may have. Humans in my eyes wouldn't question it, we are simple and accept what were told. If a woman dies of a disease we mourn her, curse the disease, but in the end we don't question the death.Think of it? You talk more of murder. I would like to know more of death. Death can be a relief, it can be sorrowful, it can be joyful, it can be maddening. You talk of only one kind of death. The concluding sentence was especially not what I expected. It's cold, it makes your eyes widen. I would like to know more of all kinds, and your thoughts on them. Other then that you did a great job expressing what death is for you. I also like how you you emphasize that death may have no answer and secrets that the world holds from us. In the end I consider myself lucky to have read this.
Thank yo very much for your review it is very helpful. I have just started writing and this is my first story I have ever shown anybody else. I know that my writing is a bit messy and my thoughts are not clearly articulated. This piece was actually suppose to be to more of a story but I felt it didn't fit into the plot as well as I hoped it would. When reading it over I did see what you meant about making it seem like death and murder are the same thing. I probably shouldn't have mentioned death in a separate way and then move to murder. Like I said thank you very much this is the first review I have ever gotten on my work I will go in and revise it. Thank you