What is it like in a mind full of worries?
Where the answers to your questions aren't going to keep you safe.
Never knowing which way to turn.
Never knowing who or what to trust.
What is it like to always fear the loneliness that awaits?
Where you always question your friends.
Never knowing when they left.
Never knowing when they are going to stay.
What is it like to be you?
What is it like to feel like your drowning in your thoughts?
Each and every word piling to the top.
One by one they never stop.
What is it like to feel like you are being left behind?
No one to turn to in the darkest of nights.
Where you sit and cry all night.
What is it like to be you?
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125,010 Literary Works • 672,839 Reviews
Hey 1swimgirl! This is ILoveBooks for a review in Review Day. So I just wanna review things about your poem to actually make you feel more a little inspire to keep writing this kind of poems.
I hope you continue to write something like this that will inspire other people and where they can relate to things.
Happy Review Day by the way! That actually rhyme huh?
First of all, I would like to congratulate you for writing one great poem. I'm serious this time. You are great at writing this kind of poem. I mean seriously, there's a lot of poem writers like this. And you are one of that! Yay!
Anyway shall we start the review?
For my review, Your title caught my attention especially when it was questionable. That actually one great way to write a title. And since it was like a question, readers will be there blinking at their computer screen wondering what can this poem all about and that made them open this one. And they won't regret a single thing just like me.
Your writing format is good and the flow of your poem is quite amazing. I like how you ask us readers a couple of times making us wonder more and want more from this poem. Like they want to keep reading and reading until they reach the last part. Even others keep repeating this for them to comprehend this and understand the deep meaning of this thing.
I actually can relate to this. Like it was full of anxiety. And it was a little dark. And really it spoke to me so much like it was telling me something so powerful. I couldn't even think of a right word for this. This is just simply beautiful, powerful and can actually really spoke to a person own perspective and mind.
Well done!
Anyway that's all for now. Continue writing and I know for sure you will become a great poem writer because you inspire a lot of us to write something like this including ms. So I hope you don't stop writing! Because this is great, I hope I hear more from you. Bravo!
Again, Happy Review Day!
-ILoveBooks out.
Hey great writing!! I'm here for a review....
I like how it ends with a question, it leaves the reader hanging but I really like it.
I like the pattern where you do the questions and then have 3 answers but you changed it in the middle.
This is very relatable and it flows really well.
I really like the idea of the questions and making it mysterious.
I think you should take out the first time you say this because it messes up the pattern and if you say it only once at the end it has more of an impact on the reader.
Overall great poem!!
Hey great writing!! I'm here for a review....
I like how it ends with a question, it leaves the reader hanging but I really like it.
I like the pattern where you do the questions and then have 3 answers but you changed it in the middle.
This is very relatable and it flows really well.
I really like the idea of the questions and making it mysterious.
I think you should take out the first time you say this because it messes up the pattern and if you say it only once at the end it has more of an impact on the reader.
Overall great poem!!
*alarm sound* its tiiiiiiiime for a review!
Okay, so first off I love what you wrote. The idea I do feel should go on more. I felt like this whole thing is a cliff hanger. I would suggest to go into more detail, don't be afraid to get dark or scary... dig deep and imagine what it's like to be that person.
I'm wondering, are you writing about yourself or do you actually wonder what it's like to be someone like that?
The second line, "Where the answers to your questions aren't going to keep you safe" what a great line I mean its just a kick in the you know what's to what people like this feel like. But I sort of feel like you should get rid of the "where the" part. And keep the rest. Possibly even switching the first line and second line to where it goes "in media res", bam.
I feel like I relate to this poem,being the person you are asking about. I have a big trust problem so if you really want to go more in depth with this poem I would respectively ask people who you know are like this and gather details, feelings, descriptive words that you can use to embody the person an feelings as a whole. Like the loneliness some may have, instead of saying "losing friends". That could really bring out the theme and make your poem set itself apart from every other ones.
Overall, I love this poem you worked on! Thanks so much for posting on here and I look forward to more of your work!
Yes it is about me! Thank you so much this information really helped me
Hi 1swimgirl! I'm DollyDee and I'm here to write up your review
The title of your poem is what drew me in. I wanted to know what was WHAT like? How is it like? Why is it like this? The title raises questions and that's a really good quality about this piece!
This last line left me speechless. I feel like I was relating the entire poem to myself and then at the end, I felt like you as the writer KNEW me already. You knew about the anxiety that follows me around day-to-day and that was creepy yet so well-written!
Overall I really like this piece. It's extremely simple but poses very good questions that everyone asks themselves day-to-day.
Keep writing hard
-DollyDee xx
Hey!
So, you said this is an application entry. It would be nice if we maybe knew what aspects of the application it is supposed to fulfill? That way I could maybe help you in getting it to fit those constraints. Let me know what that is and I'll jump back in and get a bit more detailed if you'd like! For now, I'll stick to some general stuff.
I'm not certain the brevity of this poem is working for me. Some of the questions may be thought provoking, yes, but I would love if the language were more colorful. I would love if the questions were prevented with a little bit of context rather than just the questions. I'm going to give an example.
The line "Where the answers to your questions aren't going to keep you safe."
You have a chance to use a little bit of metaphor here, you could compare the answers to some sort of clothing, to a riot shield, to a helmet, to chain mail, or thousands of other things. Take the time to color things up! Right now you have the outlines!
There were some spelling errors that you need to go back through and check. They were pretty obvious ones, just letters being left out presumably because of a missed typing.
Again, let me know if you want more. Just tell me what the guidelines are. I'd be happy to help.
-H.o.H.
I don't know why it says it is an application or where you even saw that but it's not. Thank you so much for your feed back I really appreciate it, so that I can make my poem even better.