They say be happy
They say be confident
They say be yourself
They say shut up
They say stop being annoying
They say I can't handle you
But they say be happy
be confident
be yourself
fighting in between both sides
one way or another
you want me to be happy
yet you call me annoying
you want me to be myself
but you can't handle me
you want me to be confident
but you tell me to shut up
down you push me
confusing me more and more
all I want is to be happy
be confident
and be myself
but im stuck in the hole you have put me in
and no one will help me escape
so I'm stuck being told I'm annoying
I'm stuck being told to shut up
I'm stuck being told that they can't handle me
I'm stuck in world where I'm not my own
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,827 Reviews
I could connect to this on so many levels as a high school student. First of all, the anaphora you use throughout the poem is extremely effective. It hammers the theme in instantly: the rejection, the denial, the grief. Your poem has it all, and conveys these themes without the use of fancy, obsolete language. I truly wish that your speaker's introspection was able to come full circle. I mean, he acknowledges his situation, and rejects the conformity society presses people to take part in. He realizes that he is almost a slave to society. Yet, he never fights back. This, as a reader, makes me sad; but, maybe this is the poem's point! It's very obvious that this poem stems from personal, internal struggle- the emotion really shows. I guess my suggestion would be to include some rhymes or a few alliterative phrases. Albeit rallying, the poem sometimes feels more like a list and loses its luster. All in all, I love it!
Hi!
I really liked your poem! The layout is really good! I like the vocabulary you have chosen. The way you have used repetition, is so good and it doesn't get annoying! Your poem really flows and the main reason why I like it is because many people- mainly teenagers can relate to this! At times people can feel in the middle of a rally! Really like it and please keep writing!
HeLlO!
Quick review found you! Basically, i liked the theme of your poem. It's original and encouraging. But, there are a lot of poems already on this topic, so if you want yours to be more emphatic you need to work on your writing style.
Secondly, i liked the way you kept playing with four major words and ended up your poem as a beautiful web. Here i mean web in a good sense. I mean to say that you surely introduced us to a unique style. Keep it up!
Thirdly, in this poem when you had already chosen to play with four major words you could definitely make out a rhyme scheme. Like- confident and 'keep shut' instead of shut up.
You can think of some more yourself as I KNOW YOU ARE EXTREMELY TALENTED!!
This is all from my side, i must say that you are a wonderful poet but you know there is always a scope for improvement...
****/*****
best of wishes and lots of love...
Hello!!! Weirdo Potato here! I'm going to review your beautiful piece.
I'm gonna start. First thing first, I love it very much. It so happened that we feel the same. Many people ask me what I want but when I tell them what I want, they'll going to be angry or annoyed. I don't know with them. You were so creative in making this one. I hope you can use use much more rhymes so that your upcoming works will not look like a "prose". You have something I can't get out of myself, I don't know. Your topic was very relatable to those teenagers like me who are being confused because of the society.
All in all, I loved it! I am expecting many works from you!!!
May the force of writing be with you!!! Lots of love, Weirdo Potato :sparkling_heart: