untitled

This is really good! You’re a really good poet, this poem is pretty short but it’s still amazing, keep up the great work!
Mwah mwah <3
-STARRYY

Hi! I'm tired so i'm not gonna yap much... But here is a review!

This poem is soft and simple but it carries a lot of emotional weight. It feels like a quiet moment between two people who understand each other deeply. The first stanza sets the tone with a sense of mutual need and connection. Saying "I need you as you need I" is such a gentle way to express love that goes both ways. And "eye to eye" makes it feel like they truly see each other, no masks, no pretending.

The second stanza shifts into something more dreamy. Conversations lasting for hours while sitting in fields of fragrant flowers creates such a peaceful image. It’s romantic without being over the top. It feels like a memory you’d want to hold onto forever, like something that exists outside of time.

Then the last stanza brings in distance. "Worlds apart yet still I know" hits hard. It’s about being separated physically but still feeling close emotionally. That line "our loving bond continues to grow" wraps it all up with hope. It says that no matter what, the connection is still alive and strong.

Stay amazing!

Love,
Hop

Title - "untitled"
In my opinion, I think this poem could possibly be titled "Yin and Yang." I don't know; it just sparked my mind when reading the first stanza. But I do realize that Yin and Yang are opposite forces that together bond well, yet your first stanza indicates/implies that these two people you're referring to are alike and not at all different. Yet perhaps the third stanza could boost this title since "Yin and Yang" could be interpreted in multiple ways such as being Yin and Yang could mean that they are "worlds apart" like the poem says and that their "loving bond continues to grow" despite the distance. The title "Yin and Yang" could be a double entendre.

Poem Itself:
The simplicity yet in-depth aspects of this poem truly spark a heartfelt message with the intentions of portraying these two people as soulmates. I wholeheartedly love this poem. It's written with such vulnerability and introspectiveness/reflection. I would hang this on my wall.

- Lil, aka HalfheartedAmateur

Hello, Kay! Keep here for a quick review! I've been doing this thing that I came up with just now XD called "review old works project! And it's definitely fun because I get to read what was first posted on YWS! Anyways, enough rambling from me.

I loved this poem for its rhyming scheme. It was short and simple (the way I like poems) and it stands out because it has no title. I would call it "Worlds Apart" or "Love." There's no capitalization or punctuation which annoys me ahahah, but it's fine cause the sweetness of the poem makes up for it! Keep writing!

~Keep <3

I disagree with Rei, the "as you need I" upon closer inspection make it flow better then saying something such as "a you need me" because it kind of continues that feeling you get when the author of a poem uses alliteration. I like it though extreme punctuation issues ahhhhh! Sorry, I'm a grammar fanatic and a spelling looser! Simply always capitalize I , Always capitalize the beginning words in the lines of stanza's, and always have a comma, semi thingy ; or thingy : or period at the end of every line in a stanza please.

Nice and very well written with true elegance and rhyminh like a pro ! Keep it up!

~Speakerskat

I really liked it. It was great! Keep writing!

Very well done. It was short and sweet, and the rhyming was awesome. Nice job!

Not bad. Though I didn't really like the "as you need I" part. It just sounded kind of silly. Rhyming poetry is great, but don't sacrifice grammar just to rhyme a word. It will sound just as good with an inconsistant rhyming scheme if you use "me." My only other suggestion is to maybe expand on this in order to make it more personal. because it really does sound a bit like a greeting card.

Aww, that poem is so sweet! I love it. Particularly the inversion in the first stanza - "I need you/as you need I" - very clever. My only little bits of criticism would have to be that you should change the "its" in that stanza ("its eye to eye") to "is" - I cant help reading it like that anyway and it seems to make more sense; and in the last stanza, I think "continues" ("continues to grow") should be changed to "will always" or something like that - "continues" seems too many syllables for the rhyme scheme somehow. In my opinion.
I adore the second stanza, exactly as is...
"conversations
last for hours
as we sit in fields
of fragrant flowers"
Such vivid visuals in so few words! Its awesome. I can just picture myself in a fragrant field talking with a loved one. Beautiful imagery. I would love to see a greeting card made out of this! But dont capitalize the i's. It gives it something...I dunno, like a personal touch or something - a quirk - with them in lowercase, and lends something to the flavour. Like it was written by a precocious kid or something, you know? Hard to explain, but this is definitely one of my favourites. Keep up the good work!

yeah, you did really well with the rhyming...better than i ever could, of course...some people are good with making their poetry rhyme. and then others,like myself, are rather unsuccessful.

This sounds like a greeting card, I don't mean it in bad way I just mean that you express your feelings so simply and sweetly I think maybe you should capitalise your "I's" though. Other than that very nice.

thx!

its really weird 4 me 2 write sumthin
like this - normally all of my poems r
really depressin...

This poem rhymed really well, and it never got off beat. Everything you wrote sounded natural, and, well, I don't have any criticism at all.

Great job!