Can you see me??? part 2

by *singerofthenight*

Published March 1, 2010

In other

I look in the mirror,
and i see a pale
blank face staring back
at me.
Why am i still alive?
No matter how many times
i try,
I can't die.
Why?

Comments & reviews · 4
*singerofthenight* commented Comment · Mar 29, 2010

Fairy- I understand what your saying, but before you start, please be aware there is a part one of this poem. I myself thought there were a few mature pre-teens in this world, and I figured that maybe they would be able to handle it, but in your case I guess not. I don't mean to sound rude, but that's just my opinion.

Thank you for the reveiws. I know it is short and I apologize for that.

Singer.

fairy_at_heart wrote a review Review · Mar 11, 2010

Ok, i have 2 things to say to you. First your poem is really depressing. why would you want to write about trying to kill yourself. Also, i dont think i was worded very well. And second, what is up with your avatar? It is kind of not appropriate for this site. If you want to keep that picture at least make all of your posted poems for ages 16 and up. There are some people younger than you that dont really feel like staring at you in this manner...

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angel23
Review
angel23 wrote a review Review · Mar 2, 2010

Hi, this is the first poem I've seen that's this short; I like how its straight to the point and how it doesn't follow the basic syllable count and other things of the sort. I like poems that are more descriptive but I guess this poem is as simple as can be for a purpose. Keep up the work!

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fiction903
Review
fiction903 wrote a review Review · Mar 1, 2010

This poem is incredibly depressing.Please remember to capitalize "I". I cannot find any other mistakes as far as grammar and spelling.I have one suggestion I don't really like how your poem ends with a question. Other than that it is fine.Have a great day and keep writing Fiction.



i understand why roosters scream in the morning
— SpunkyMonkey