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Young Writers Society



SkyKnights Part 3

by davidechoe13


SkyKnights Part 3

I crawled through my orphanage window, I was so excited I almost couldn’t stand it.

“What did you do?” Martin asked as I fell on my bed pulling my mask off.

“I shot at a thug with a bb gun and gave the lady I rescued a calling card.” I was on a hero high I wanted to get more underway I started drawing costume designs.

“I really liked the image on the calling card” I said to Martin “Do you think you could make a couple more?” He nodded and went to work. We didn’t finish our work till early in the morning. Luckily it was a weekend and had no school to worry about.

When I finally woke up it was because they were about to serve lunch downstairs and we had to help set up the table. The orphanage had “Chores” for us to do every day and if we got them done, we would get a little money. Martin and me started working we needed the money, as time went on we ended up in secret, getting our supplies, slowly so as not to attract attention it was expensive and we weren’t billionaires so it was rough but we did it. I finally got a suit together just to cover who I was and partly because if I wanted to be a hero then I needed a costume. In the end I had a dark grey scuba diving outfit and some black boots that went with it. Martin strapped a couple of utility belts in an X across the front and around the waist. The Mask was made out of duct tape with a light blue lens from a pair of sunglasses at the eyeholes; it was good in the daytime but at night things just didn’t work up. So I bought a couple of Mag-lites which I strapped one onto my utility belt and another a strapped into the helmet so all I had to do was press a button and I could see fine. At night when no one was around Martin and I went outside I practiced in my suit I learned how to use it Martin also knew a few karate moves which he showed me and I practiced on him. In the end after 4 months of hard work, I was quick on my feet I could fight fairly well and my suit was awesome Martin had even saved up enough for another computer we even got a pair of those ear cellphone things.

“Are we ready?” Martin asked through the phone in my ear.

“Yes, we are a go” I replied this was the second attempt of rescue I turned on my police radio and sat and listened. I waited and waited, then…

“We have a bank robbery on east twenty five Salisbury road 34468, nearest patrol head there!” I jumped up out of my seat. That place wasn’t 3 blocks away from here. Then the police radio crackled again.

“Station, we are an estimated 23 minutes away over.” I knew that was one of the patrol cars that meant I only had 23 minutes to save a jewelry store. I hid the radio and in a full out sprint went to Salisbury road.

“Martin I got one!” I near yelled in excitement.

“Where at?” He asked.

“Sal’s Jewelry store.”

“Alright im hacking the security, there are two cameras in the front, I now have live feed. You gotta hurry the dudes packin’ up about to leave!”

I rounded the corner I turned on my belt light and ran through the broken glass door. I heard some glass move and then a voice.

“Who are you?” I turned towards the direction of the sound there stood the thief.

“I’m the hero.” I said “Now drop the bag.” He looked at me and smiled.

“Your just a kid I could take you blindfolded!”

“Wanna bet?” I ran at the thief which surprised him and threw in a good punch while he was off guard. The thief retaliated by whacking me upside the head with his bag of jewels. “That is SO wrong” I thought. Then the pain kicked in and I took a punch to the stomach. I fell backwards the breath knocked out of me. With an effort and determination and even a feeling of stupidity, I pulled out my co2 pistol and shot him once just to see the damage it would do. The first shot hit him in the knee; he yelped and bent over grasping his leg. I smiled and shot him a couple more times at close range. Then I ran over and kicked him on his side.

“How are you doing?” Martin asked finally after an uncomfortable silence.

“The bad guy is down hahahaha.” My laugh died in my throat as I heard police sirens wail as they came around the corner. “And I need a way out, like now!” I tossed down a couple of my calling cards on the downed jewelry thief.

“There’s a back door down the hall and to the left take that!”

I bolted through another door which led into the hall way, I heard the cops behind me coming through the hall sounds went into my ears but I never really hear the words I slammed through the back door and ran as quick as I could to my lookout post in the alley where I had my police radio. Only when I got there did I realize how tired and out of breath I was I also realized Martin had been talking the whole time.

“Jason! What’s going on as soon as you left I saw the cops follow what happened?”

“I kicked bad guy butt as you probably saw and out ran a couple of cops. I’m heading back now.” I picked myself up and quickly made it back to the orphanage. I fell through the window in a heap of exhaustion, Martin helped me onto my bed I had a fairly nasty bruise on the edge of my forehead. Other than that, amazingly I was okay. But I would be really tired. Tomorrow was Monday and the first day was gonna be full of work. Being a hero was hard, I finally realized.


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125 Reviews


Points: 3435
Reviews: 125

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Tue Jul 10, 2012 9:26 pm
PixieStix wrote a review...



Hey, PixieStix here to review!

I really liked this, though there are some things you could probrably change. The way you put the words!

In these paragraphs~

“Are we ready?” Martin asked through the phone in my ear.
“Yes, we are a go” I replied this was the second attempt of rescue I turned on my police radio and sat and listened. I waited and waited, then…
“We have a bank robbery on east twenty five Salisbury road 34468, nearest patrol head there!” I jumped up out of my seat. That place wasn’t 3 blocks away from here. Then the police radio crackled again.
“Station, we are an estimated 23 minutes away over.” I knew that was one of the patrol cars that meant I only had 23 minutes to save a jewelry store. I hid the radio and in a full out sprint went to Salisbury road.
“Martin I got one!” I near yelled in excitement.
“Where at?” He asked.
“Sal’s Jewelry store.”
“Alright im hacking the security, there are two cameras in the front, I now have live feed. You gotta hurry the dudes packin’ up about to leave!”
I rounded the corner I turned on my belt light and ran through the broken glass door. I heard some glass move and then a voice.


You need to put commas after every quotation thingy. After someone speaks.

Other then that there wasn't really anything bad. I liked it. Can't wait to see the next part!





pain is that feeling when you are feeling hurt, but it never goes away leaving me hurt. oh it hurts.
— Dragonthorn