z

Young Writers Society



When I walk, I look down

by Kabloozleman


When people walk, they look up.
They look around, studying their surroundings.
Silently observing.
Silently judging.

When people walk, they look up.
They show everybody else who they are.
Silently judging.
Silently laughing.

When people walk, they look up.
They excrete an air of pride, and that suits them.
Silently laughing.
Silently moving on.


When I walk, I look down.
I observe every rock, pebble, and leaf that I pass by.
Silently observing.
Silently wondering.

When I walk, I look down.
Who is that? Doesn't matter. Look at this cool caterpillar.
Silently wondering.
Silently finding.

When I walk, I look down.
Every single tidbit of information is mine, at least, on the ground.
Silently finding.
Silently cheering.

When I walk, I look down.
Occasionally looking up.
Silently cursing.

A car alarm goes off not-so-silently.

Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments


User avatar
417 Reviews

Points: 500
Reviews: 417

Donate
Mon Jun 02, 2014 5:29 am
Willard wrote a review...



Hey Klabloozleman! Strange here and I have a review for you!
I can't believe this is still in the Green Room. I also understand you are no longer active, but I felt the need to review this.
I found this hilarious. This felt more of a satire, complaining about those people with those huge egos. How one loathes them. This describes life near perfectly. We all don't like those people. We feel the need that they don't need to shove their pride into our faces. This observes how everyone feels. This describes high school life, college life, near everything. I love that part of the poem.
The last line is near perfect. I felt the need to clap for christ sakes. It was hilarious. You break into their car, or key it even. That made me laugh hard. As a humor poet, I can't write a poem like this that is so funny.
Overall, great job.
Strange gives you...
9.1/10
Great job
Keep writing
Stay groovy, my friend.




User avatar


Points: 890
Reviews: 3

Donate
Sat Mar 10, 2012 9:05 am
Cuprammonium says...



This is actually quite good. Better than i expected from 'your mom'. That's dry i know...
I like it :D
the very last sentence kind of breaks it which can be good from different points of views but it depends on the person.




User avatar
12 Reviews

Points: 1190
Reviews: 12

Donate
Sat Mar 03, 2012 1:25 am
View Likes
Pilot wrote a review...



It's so true though, I sometimes wander into a pole and then I get foolish glares from every single being who witnessed my mishap.

Everything was clear and made sense, and I don't really have much to complain about.

Good work :)





I was born to speak all mirth and no matter.
— William Shakespeare