Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Smoke dances in upward spirals from his lips, trapped in the beams that shine down from the streetlights. It provides him with some brief beauty to help forget the deed just done. A respite from the ever-worsening course his life seems to be following.
He looks down at his hand, wanting to take another drag from the cigarette. The butt is smeared with red from his initial fumbling with the packet. That sight snaps him back into the present. In the pouring rain he keels over onto his knees and vomits. His arms quiver trying to steady him as he expels the last hour of his life out onto the pavement. Blood is washed from his hands to merge with the pool of sick.
Wow, well first of all, that's a really fun and actually pretty cool idea. And moving on this start here is very powerful, we have what appears to be a man that's currently just vomiting out blood and is literally in the process of dying here in the very first part of this story and well, if that isn't something that catches your attention as a reader I don't know what is. The feelings that you build up within this man as these final moments take place are also very interesting, cause you can sense that maybe this was somewhat intentional here from the thoughts going on.
In the surrounding puddles his reflection is distorted, the constant torrent of rain warps his face into some kind of monster. Tears roll down his face, but are masked by droplets from the sky that slither down his body from head to toe. The rain tries it’s hardest to clean these filthy streets, to rid them of the depraved vermin that roam them and of the heinous acts they commit. It is trying to rid the streets of him.
A line of spit dangles from his lip, stuck to his chin like the snot of a baby that has yet to learn to control it’s own body. Unable to bear the world around him, a world he has helped to create, he runs. He needs to get home. He has done his job and will get his pay. Tomorrow this will just be another file on McFarlane’s desk...
Okay...so that seems to indicate that the whole 'last hour of life" meant something a bit different from the whole death thing. It appears to be someone on the more corrupt and evil side of things starting to regret the work that he's doing on a daily basis and just vomiting it all up. It appears that he's simply trying his best to convince himself its all part of the job and trying to sort of move on with life there...and to have everything simple be another file on the boss' desk. Well, at any rate, this makes for a really solid prologue here, it captures a very interesting that definitely makes me want to read on and find out more here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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Reviews: 4130
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