Young Writers Society



brother, when?

by soundofmind


Author's Note: Before reviewing, I ask that you please take a moment to listen to the recording of this song while you read for the full experience. Click this link to do so. Thank you! :)

I will never forget
The moment that you left
You told me that you would be back soon
Then you rode away

I knew that it didn't feel right
As I saw you run into the night
I told you I loved you
And I never saw you again

In my dreams I see you
Brother, when?
Will I wake up weeping
all over again?
Do you know the hole that
You left behind?
I wish you’d stop coming back
In my mind

Is the version that lives in my head
The only one that’s not dead?
There are no real answers
All this time I’ve talked to a ghost

I still can’t let you go
All this time, are you still alone?
I just want my brother
You’re someone I cannot replace

In my dreams I see you
Brother, when?
Will I wake up weeping
all over again?
Do you know the hole that
You left behind?
I wish you’d stop coming back
In my mind

And I cry
When I wake up
In the morning
After ten years I find
I’m still mourning
You


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
11 Reviews


Points: 306
Reviews: 11

Donate
Fri Jan 13, 2023 9:55 pm
View Likes
Benji says...



whoops, sorry about the double post!




User avatar
11 Reviews


Points: 306
Reviews: 11

Donate
Fri Jan 13, 2023 9:55 pm
View Likes
Benji wrote a review...



I really enjoyed both the lyrics - for their deep expression of longing for a loved one (and the pain that comes with it) and in how articulated and honest it comes across. The pain of the story feels lived in, I can see these characters and that feeling of love, pain, and regret while reading it, but the song is where these emotions are really showcased in a way that words can't do full justice. I loved the melody and the accompaniment that you composed for this, you have the mark of a great songwriter sound :)




soundofmind says...


;-; <3 !!!



User avatar
86 Reviews


Points: 4030
Reviews: 86

Donate
Mon Dec 12, 2022 8:25 am
View Likes
loveissourgrapes wrote a review...



Wow, your voice is really calming. When you're in a bad mood and when you miss someone, it will be such a great thing to listen to this. The harmonizes are *chef's kiss*. And thank you for making me cry with the words and the melodies you sang. I hope you're okay and condolences to you. I feel like this will sound good on an early morning or when the sun is setting and your driving around the mountains. Thank you for sharing your song!




User avatar
15 Reviews


Points: 591
Reviews: 15

Donate
Fri Dec 09, 2022 1:30 pm
View Likes
angxlari wrote a review...



thank you for sharing this, its such an intimate moment. i listened to the soundcloud version and aghhh, it hit hard. your voice has such a calming, warm tone. it made me feel like i was being sung to sleep as a child! the lyrics are desperate and longing, something that most readers and listeners can relate to deeply. such a beautiful thing, and i'm sorry for your loss :c

you are doing great things!!




soundofmind says...


Thanks so much for listening! I appreciate your thoughtful response.

Though this song expresses personal experiences, it is actually written primarily from the perspective of a fictional character and not myself. Though it is kind of you to offer condolences regardless. <3 I like to incorporate storytelling into my songwriting, and the roads intersect often.

Thanks again, and I am happy you enjoyed it!




hmmm. you know, the quote generator deserves some garlic bread
— SilverNight