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Young Writers Society



brother, when?

by soundofmind


Author's Note: Before reviewing, I ask that you please take a moment to listen to the recording of this song while you read for the full experience. Click this link to do so. Thank you! :)

I will never forget
The moment that you left
You told me that you would be back soon
Then you rode away

I knew that it didn't feel right
As I saw you run into the night
I told you I loved you
And I never saw you again

In my dreams I see you
Brother, when?
Will I wake up weeping
all over again?
Do you know the hole that
You left behind?
I wish you’d stop coming back
In my mind

Is the version that lives in my head
The only one that’s not dead?
There are no real answers
All this time I’ve talked to a ghost

I still can’t let you go
All this time, are you still alone?
I just want my brother
You’re someone I cannot replace

In my dreams I see you
Brother, when?
Will I wake up weeping
all over again?
Do you know the hole that
You left behind?
I wish you’d stop coming back
In my mind

And I cry
When I wake up
In the morning
After ten years I find
I’m still mourning
You


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Wed Sep 27, 2023 11:34 am
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Roxanne wrote a review...



Greetings Singer!

Beyond my beloved horizon, I'm setting sail into uncharted pages with an itch for adventure. Through binoculars, I spy with my little eye a melancholic and yet beautiful song “brother, when?” that deserves a good review. Therefore without further ado, let’s begin.

Image

Very first of all, a round of applause for you. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed listening to your song, it is so tragically beautiful. Your voice sounds angelic and perfect for a song such as yours, a song with a perfect voice and fitting lyrics.

The lyrics tells a tale written from the speakers perspective, a tale about the dear brother of the speaker who is gone, who rode away. And the speaker shares her grief, her hopes that she once had and the harsh reality. You've so skillfully portrayed an entire story in just a single song with a lyrics with deep meaning.

The chorus of your song will be my favourite part, not only the the sentences rhyme but the speaker seems to, figuratively, speak with her brother, as if he's here but still so far away.
You have a wonderful voice, I could really hear the 'grief' in your singing.

Everything in all and all in everything, your voice reminds me of another singer who sings songs just like yours, Sasha Sloan. Check out some of her songs for some extra inspiration or ideas, or just to add something else to your everyday playlist. I would recommend you Dancing With Your Ghost and Older.

That's it, that's all.
Hoping the review has been of value to you!

With writer's love,
Rose




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Sun Sep 17, 2023 7:19 pm
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NadyaStatham wrote a review...



Salutations, Sound of mind!



Image

Rinisha is back here and ready to review 📚!

Buckle up, 'cause this is going to be a bumpy ride. I’m going to keep it short alright!✨

All in all

This party rocked, let's take a quick look!

First things first, you have an awesome voice. I mean wow, I listened to a couple of your songs and I was blown away. You really have some talent. Your guitar/ukulele makes your song even more beautiful. I think these are my favourite of all of them: “Look what you’ve done”, “I just want to be with you” & “I’m sorry I loved you”

Your song comes really strong and it makes me think of “Brother by Kodaline.” I think you would make a great artist.


You could work on:✒️

You know what I just realised, wouldn't it be crazy if you wrote a poem/song about all your titles? I mean look at this:

Title: Sound of mind

Lyrics/Poem:

My favourite thing about summer
I was out of league
when I crashed into you
I opened my heart

I just want to be with you
For paradise
You were my deep sea darling

But as time catches up to you
Now Look what you’ve done
I’m sorry I loved you
I tried

What do you want
In the dead of winter
Like a bitter pill
I just need a vacation

This is the end of the song
we’re in the same boat
Take me to the water
Tell me, do you want to fight for this too?


Of course you can make changes and expand it, it's totally up to you. Think about it will you!

Have a nice day or night further! Keep writing! You are amazing!

Amazingly yours,
Rinisha
– Be yourself and keep writing! 📖🎉




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Fri Jan 13, 2023 9:55 pm
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Benji says...



whoops, sorry about the double post!




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14 Reviews

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Fri Jan 13, 2023 9:55 pm
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Benji wrote a review...



I really enjoyed both the lyrics - for their deep expression of longing for a loved one (and the pain that comes with it) and in how articulated and honest it comes across. The pain of the story feels lived in, I can see these characters and that feeling of love, pain, and regret while reading it, but the song is where these emotions are really showcased in a way that words can't do full justice. I loved the melody and the accompaniment that you composed for this, you have the mark of a great songwriter sound :)




soundofmind says...


;-; <3 !!!



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Mon Dec 12, 2022 8:25 am
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AkuRashomon wrote a review...



Wow, your voice is really calming. When you're in a bad mood and when you miss someone, it will be such a great thing to listen to this. The harmonizes are *chef's kiss*. And thank you for making me cry with the words and the melodies you sang. I hope you're okay and condolences to you. I feel like this will sound good on an early morning or when the sun is setting and your driving around the mountains. Thank you for sharing your song!




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Fri Dec 09, 2022 1:30 pm
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angxlari wrote a review...



thank you for sharing this, its such an intimate moment. i listened to the soundcloud version and aghhh, it hit hard. your voice has such a calming, warm tone. it made me feel like i was being sung to sleep as a child! the lyrics are desperate and longing, something that most readers and listeners can relate to deeply. such a beautiful thing, and i'm sorry for your loss :c

you are doing great things!!




soundofmind says...


Thanks so much for listening! I appreciate your thoughtful response.

Though this song expresses personal experiences, it is actually written primarily from the perspective of a fictional character and not myself. Though it is kind of you to offer condolences regardless. <3 I like to incorporate storytelling into my songwriting, and the roads intersect often.

Thanks again, and I am happy you enjoyed it!




The chains of habits are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.
— Warren Buffet