Here are two horror stories that I made that you can read and review on them. Here there are hope you enjoy! Please give them any advice and tips to help me with my story. Due to setting issues, plot points, and character problems, these stories are not going to be a series and are officially never going to be finished, due to inner critique and other critiques to make others happy. In order to make these stories work I have to stare at the screen and expect better stories to pop out of my head and write. Here are the two stories:
1) -“Mime and boy story (no title yet)”
*but I was going to stop working on that story because of setting, character, and plot issues.
I slowly opened my eyes even though I’m feeling very sleepy. *
“Everything seems normal on my side of the bed, Like everyday,especially near the end of April. No manifestation stuff or notes appear to be on my bed. except for something feels weird on my rocking chair where my old teddy bear lives. I woke up, and lifted my half of my body up. Then I noticed something that shocked me a little. It was here.
A brown book, with greenish and purplish book front and back cover was on my rocking chair. I flipped open the pages carefully. There seems to be a poem or a short fairly tale, and at the end of every written tale is a magic spell or a dessert or food that’s a hidden potion.
A creepy looking spell book sewn with actual skin piqued my interest. Weird I thought, who would do that? It was pretty weird to seen skin sewn on it, i thought it would smell of rotten cheese and spoiled milk, but it was weirdly not smellable but it still hinted a slight moldy deodorant smell. The spell book said grim’s and petal’s grimoire.
Then It hit me that I had a weird dream relatable to the spellbook, I tried to write down most parts, I wrote down a few, but many pieces fell out, and I couldn’t remember the absolutely major parts of my dream. But I did write and draw a few small pieces of the dream.
Today was another stupid, asshole school day. But I know I should never curse at school, after all, sophomores have to be responsible and have a proper result for every school day.
School was like any other day. Look at the laptop. Learn something new. Take class notes. And do your work based on today’s lessons. And you get homework. Period. Then go to another class and follow the same cycle again.
I hated almost all classes/sessions of school, except science. Though some topics make my head spin, I understand oxidation, the process of how a battery gets it’s energy and how it works and not works. And doing some oxidation exponents and subscript worksheets. I know how a plant cell and an animal cells works, and if someone asks me, I will say the answer. Unless it’s science, i seemed to see everyday a stormy school day.
When school was done for the day, I thought everything about school seems to be dumb until out of the blue, a gleaming thought came:
I wonder, I thought, if my spell book can help me out with how boring school is.
My friend Jackie then came over. And said “Hi”.
I said hi back.
“How are you today? And how was your science? For me I managed to take care of my worksheet,” said Jackie. I heard her slightly mumbling ‘at least’.
“I finished it within 18 minutes, an Abercrombie secret record. What I can tell you is that you worked out a lot at gym. You sweat a lot.” I said.
“Yeah, I like gym, but I have to move out to school for summer school and vacation at another country. Spain.”
“Wait. so you won’t be able to see-“ I wanted to speak a bit more, only to realize she din’t listen to my response: she won’t be able to trade my favorite Pokémon card.
“ I’m sorry Abbot, I won’t come back for about a year or two. But we will look back.”
“When do you leave to Spain?” I said in a fake happy voice. I made sure not to hint disappointment.
“Within two more weeks. And I’m out baby. YEET ! But I will miss you and I will write a letter to you sometime.” Jackie suggested.
I tried to feel happy, but I know nothing about a written letter will make me cheer up. I prefer EMAILS. What the hell! I feel myself ready to grit my teeth and say swear words. I know that will still count as a punishment. So I tried to ‘smile’ for a bit longer.
“I’d better go now, see you tomorrow.” said Jackie, excited .
SEE YOU TOMORROW?! Unbelievable. There goes my ONLY best FRIEND!
Jackie was a nice friend since the first year of high school. She’s mostly boring, as she keeps digging in her nose at home, makes the worst dad jokes and knows them all the time, and is a nervous person with stage fright. but just like me, she likes science. She is a nerd. And we are good friends. But something about her history with me and her regular life is annoying.
And I cannot put my finger on it.
That night I decide to cast a spell. At least the spellbook’s pocket inside has most of the things I need. I searched for the table of contents, and all the spells seemed organized.
I flipped over the different poems and short tales, until I found something I wanted.
How to make a place better.
The recipe was simple and it needed 3 eggs, 5 flowers of any color and any type, a handwritten address of the school, and an eraser.
I chanted the spell:
“See this place,
Check again this place, all the bad in holes.
You are a possibility to more, more goals.
Then a shiny glow flew to the night, the glow must be heading for the school.
So I went to bed, and slept.
I then had this weird dream. A dream that I was in this dark, and safe room. It seemed safe, until i felt something slightly squishy, with a bone in it. Weird. It feel like skin, but then I suddenly decided to look for a lighter. And the i turned on the flint by pushing the button. I can see it a bit more clearly now. A room, that is dark has some pillows and a poster that says Come and see “The Slender Tender Mime. Come today.”
Then I felt something, as if my body feel like it’s slowly getting tighter and tighter.
And I can feel something licking my packs underneath.
Then I heard a weird and creepy but familiar hum. Could it be the hum from my dream? It sounded like a nursery rhyme, but it’s not like it’s any nursery song I heard of... I sounded slightly soothing, but tingly and scary.
I feel like I’m ready to slump over and rest but I don’t want to yet.
Then I remembered my lighter, and pushed the button in front of my face. A mime, was warping the rope round and round, and he looked black and white, just like a printer that prints out gray stuff, some hues of gray might be black and others hues looked lighter, and some looked like the lightest of them all, the only part that’s white is the paper itself. The mime looked like a clown, but it had a black thin nose, and no squishy round clown nose you would see In circuses.
The mime came over and took my dead body, and he walked away humming a familiar haunting tune.”
2)- And here’s the second story, “Girl and Hell and Ogreman” the () mean that I was going to plan my story but since I’m a panster it’s harder than I anticipated. Sorry:
“My daughter loves to go to school, but school for me is..meh. I think school is very evil in the past. I get triggered when i hear about school every day. I think of fear and chaos. It was a long time ago but it still plagues me.
No one might understand where I live, because I kept it a great hidden secret for a plump juicy 29 years. Now that I have a job as a cashier at the supermarket, that should be and feel much better while living in this fresh earth. But now I’m not sure about what can I even do about it.
It began when I was going back home from my work. My wife Loraine wasn’t at home at the time, so I picked up my my little daughter Mimi, and both of us went home.
Sitting on my soft favorite puffy leather couch, I felt so ready to drop ten times deep to sleep. Feeling a little groggy, but not ready to rest yet, I looked at my little doll.
Mimi Garfunkel is one of those many people who does good in her classes. She’s one of these people who does her best to do her work a she fixes her grades on a report card to an A or A+. Don’t get me way too started on pink and purple, she loves any shade of pink and purple. Pink bed. Bubble gum pink and purple Rainbocorns. Pink alien stickers on her notebook, pink purple everywhere. With pearly white in a few areas . The girl loves questions not a lot, but she does ask questions, at times.
She looks so grown up already, as she put her backpack and hung it on a hook and school supplies and homework folder on the table.
It has a family project on the table. It’s a family tree project. Where you write family names and a box full of information and stuff like that. I felt a slight dreadful thought about using my personal family information, but she doesn’t mind and I usually don’t mind either. Cause I din’t live in planet earth to begin with. But I like earth a bit more.
My daughter then looks at me innocently and with a tense, worried face she replied, “Daddy, what’s your real name?”
I sighed. I replied “ I’m sorry, I can’t tell you my real name”
“Do you remember anything about what you did when you were little, or when you were my age, for high school and stuff?” Mimi replied.
“Hmmm...” I said.
What to say, I thought. What to do? what to do? ( )
She silently obeyed and really wanted to hear more ( )
The teacher kept shouting at me as I tried to write, the repeated 'Exam! Exam! Exam! Destroy! Destroy! Destroy!' a tune I had gotten stuck in my head. And she seemed so bossy and cruel. For in hell, you have to learn the evil sacred text and learn how to put yourself first before others. You need to learn to run away from strangers and mean people.( )”
Hope you enjoy these stories I added both stories to this portfolio as one entry.
What do you think? Any tips and advice for what’s needed to improve in my horror stories? Please give me a review, a like, and any feedback, advice, exercises, and tips to make my horror stories better, and make my Stories more concise, more flowing, and more suspenseful. Cause I want to be like Ishikawa Emi in these stories: https://mangaowl.net/single/1431/zekkyou-gakkyuu (<— these stories do not have happy endings) but I want the stories above to have a similar plot to this Zekkyou Gakkyuu Tensei (the sequel series to Zekkyou Gakkyuu) reading plot review, which has a happier ending than the other Zekkyou Gakkyuu Stories: http://tatsukida.blogspot.com/2021/10/zekkyou-gakkyuu-tensei-chapter-34.html .
Thank you. From, @BeingRivy .