Hi Harry,
Mailice here again with a short review to finish chapter 9!
So we have now reached the last part of the ninth chapter and this also ends the journey through the puzzle.
I didn't expect that the dance would lead to a hole opening up. It makes me wonder who this someone was who wrote this puzzle. Probably someone very eccentric.
Now we have reached the end of the chapter. In general it was a good chapter, you already divided the parts in such a way that the trio analysed each stanza in each part and came up with the solution. You coupled it with humour and a structure that I liked. Sometimes, I felt a transition was missing and, as I mentioned before, the vividness of the setting. That's definitely something you did well at the beginning of the story, but at some point it got lost.
Terry's POV was well chosen and I'm still curious how it will develop. But I also found that he fell asleep a bit around the middle of the chapter, that you couldn't see his thoughts as much. I thought that was a shame because they were actually sort of setting up a new mystery, and a sort of second plot path that was going on behind the protagonists at the moment.
Something that probably many here like, and I still have to get used to, are the short parts of the chapter that always appear. You're not usually the only one, and I think it has its advantages when you read it on your mobile phone, but I'm honestly not a fan of it. It gives me this feeling like I'm reading a weekly manga that sometimes seems a bit stretching and sometimes seems a bit shorter. The pace is adjusted to make it the most lucrative for the writer. I'm not talking about you, but I'm trying to illustrate it somehow. Let's explain it this way; you start the car to drive from your driveway across the road to come back to a stop where the bakery is. That's why it's so hard to write a single review for such a short text. I think the reviews all together for one chapter with all the parts there becomes one big review.
So my plan will then be to read chapter 10 on Monday and the previous of chapter 11 on Tuesday. Please tag me if more chapters appear in the future then!
One other point I noticed while reading:
“Fibnoati, Fibonaki, I remember something along those lines,” said Harry, giving himself a knock on the head. “Why can’t this stupid brain remember it? It’s in there somewhere, right at the top but it refuses to come out.”
Maybe Harry should take his mind off it for a moment, have an ice cream and think about possible outcomes of his favourite sport before he sits down to it and comes up with the solution. The longer you try to remember something, the harder it becomes to find it, because the brain then opens up more and more concepts and memories. Even with problem solving, it is better to let the problem rest and go at it again, a few hours later.... Yes actually I just wanted to say that Harry sounds like a dictionary at the moment.
Have fun writing!
Mailice
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