I wandered through the deep, dark alleys as I gathered my thoughts. I was alone, finally. I could have a minute of peace to really think for myself ; not for him or her. It felt strange. I was allowed to think without the others yelling behind me…
I continued to slowly jaunt through the lane. There were rubbish bags scattered all over the place, some coming up to my waist in a filthy stench. The rain fell harshly onto my thin, ripped hoodie, however it was silent. I kicked a puddle of dirty, brown mud: I messed up my boots to shreds, who was I to care though.
I shuddered in the bitter breeze and hugged myself tight. I carried on walking...softly...down...the...lane. My glasses fogged up to the point where I chucked them on the floor, the sudden shatter of the lenses made my heart jump. I walked quicker now, to avoid the now revolting smell of the rubbish sacks.
I wanted to go home but I couldn’t. I had no home now after all, just my soaked rags and a mini phone, with nothing more than a narrow, broken screen and 4 buttons still intact. Why did I bother anymore? It was not like someone was going to love me, so why bother? I stumbled on a large rock ; I kicked it to satisfy my irritation however hurt my toe in the process.
I had a weird gut feeling to run, so I did...I had no idea where I was going but I figured to just take a left turn, towards the distant glows of lanterns. The warm gold shimmer of the light beckoned to me to come. I had no clue what was in our city, I just had a thought to follow the light. I heard distant laughs and shouts...so this was what a city is: cheery and social. Everything but me. I listened in, attempting to translate the remote mumbles of the people from hundreds, possibly thousands of metres away.
I carried on walking down a quiet, bleak path until I reached a crossing. I couldn’t even care enough as to look both ways, I just lumbered myself across the road. I looked at my phone for a minute...it displayed a message from mother.
“I am so disappointed in you Rachel. You are out of your mind missy” I felt lost. My own mother couldn’t say anything but hurtful words against me, criticism, insults ; anything apart from love.
That is when I realised, to follow the lanterns…