Young Writers Society

This is gorgeous. Truly. The struggle of inner demons vs. what's socially acceptable is really beautiful.

Onto the review:

The last stanza loses me a bit. The prior stanzas are told from decided experience, but the last stanza seems like it's been decided before the experience. I just lose a bit of the "speaking from experience" part of the poem there. Especially in the phrase "could only cause trouble." If the narrator was speaking from experience, wouldn't it make a but more sense to say "will only cause trouble"? That way, the reader knows that the narrator has done it before and knows what it will cause, instead of only what it could cause. Just my two cents.

Overall, beautiful job, and bravo!

I love how you took the idea of putting on a mask to hide and expanded it into several different ones for different circumstances. Breaking up the general mask that people commonly use really enabled a more in-depth assessment of what emotions aren't socially acceptable in public versus what emotions are. It also works as a commentary, in my interpretation at least, on how we hide mental illness, and how others want it to be hidden. The amount of effort and planning that went into picking the mask for each day I think is also a good representation of the energy it takes to function socially with a mental illness.
A lovely poem, thank you for sharing it!

Radrook here to offer a review and helpful suggestions.


Thanks for sharing this poem concerning the necessity for us to put on a good face when we are in public in order to be socially acceptable. In this case the need seems rather strong because of the turmoil that the speaker feels. What exactly is causing this turmoil isn't revealed-only the necessity to hide the insecurities and the fears that are harassing the speaker and the overwhelming sense of being judge negatively if real feelings are expressed.
You express the feelings very well and a a reader I felt empathy for the speaker since I identify with his problem. I think all of us do to varying degrees since most of us strive to be socially acceptable and try to suppress things that might disqualify us from being approved.



Suggestions:

Not sure what is meant by the following line

"I will then chose exited."

Punctuation:

....I am keeping in[.]

....from appearing weak[.]

....snaking up my neck[.]

....Just enough to blend in[.]

It will hide the [my] timidness[.] The reader know that you are the one involved.

It will mask how meek I really am[.]


I will not express the sea of dismay[.] The reader knows that dismay is in the speaker’s head.

It will hide the tsunami of feelings I am hit with[.]

It will cover the distress I am drowning in[.]

....a new person[,]



Looking forward to reading more of your work.

WOW. Just wow. That really spoke to my soul. If I were you I would use bigger words and describe how the character and/or you feel. Although I could feel what you meant with my own heart but, to some who aren't as sensitive as me might not get it and just call you weak. I feel that same pain. That if I don't act strong, if I don't put up a good front someone will find another way to tease me. Moke me for who I am and what I do. Whatever drove you to write this, keep a hold of it. What inspires you might help or inspire others as well.

Hey there! Hope you don't mind if I leave a review

First of all, The concept of a "mask" to hide one's emotions is used frequently, so I clicked expecting an overused and bland topic... However, I was pleased to find that your poem goes above and beyond what I expected. The way you used Happy, Calm, Excited, and Confident for each individual mask for a different day was an excellent and well used way to break up the poem's stanzas. And the final stanza explains why the person uses these masks, in hopes of creating a "socially acceptable" version of themselves. Your poem was very well written, fantastic even. I'm normally more of a fan of structured, rhyme-scheme strict poetry. However, your poem lacked restrictions and still maintained excellent flow and vocab that improved the overall rhythm and flow of it.

Instead, I put on my mask and become a new person.

A socially acceptable me.