Let’s start off with a simple question: Are you alive? Your first inclination would be to answer yes, wouldn’t it? We’re certainly all standing here, breathing simultaneously and listening to the same person. But do you feel alive, as you sit here in this very room? When you wake up, are you opening your eyes to a day where you believe you can start anew and pursue a life full of dreams, goals, and opportunities? Or are you simply dragging yourself out of bed to repeat the same tedious, monotonous cycle that sums up your life as a whole? But what happens when these questions slowly become the majority of someone’s thoughts?
I wasn’t very independent or social back when I was younger. I technically had friends, but I never had close friends. I would just normally sit with a group of people that I somehow met at the beginning of the school year, but I never had much attachment to them. Then I would stay with them or about 2-3 years until being forced to move to a different school simply because my parents wanted to. But I never thought about it. I was innocent and naive about the world and how it worked, as most children are when they are really young. My parents, of course being the stereotypical Asian parents that they were, always pushed me to try hard in school, and yelled at me when I didn’t try hard enough. Every time they did, I cried, dried tears, and continued to follow their values and beliefs that they wanted me to adhere to. My parents were always leading me by the hand when it came to dealing with trivial situations like losing a jacket, trying to find new friends for me when I moved to a new school, or forgetting my violin at home. Then I officially transferred from being an elementary school student to being a middle school student, and that’s when things started going downhill.
My experience of middle school started the same way I started elementary school. I was again the transfer student, which meant I knew absolutely no one as always. In the course of the next few months, I found a group of people that I sat with at lunch every day. Everything was normal, until I started noticing how much close knit everyone was compared to me. Everyone there had known each other ever since elementary school. They had formed bonds that had been strengthened over the course of their lives. Where did that leave me, a person who had just entered into their lives for only a few months? This was when the questions began to consume my thoughts, becoming even more pessimistic by each passing day. Soon it went from “Do I belong here?” to “If I were to disappear, would anyone actually care?” My relationship with my parents grew rocky as well, because I realized how much I didn’t want to adhere to their values and beliefs. My brother was the opposite of supportive, calling me fat and an idiot randomly, which I would react to this badly because I was and still am sensitive. My friends, not being able to handle me anymore, asked me to leave. I was drowning in a state of hopelessness and despair, slowly letting myself be overwhelmed by my depressing thoughts. I wanted to disappear. I didn’t want to live, yet I couldn’t even put a knife to my own skin because I was scared of pain. I pushed everyone away, but I wanted someone to help me and to actually understand what I was thinking. I felt like a living paradox.
At times, I still think about that situation and where my friends and I made mistakes when dealing with this situation. When I was still with my former friends, I ended up arguing with them about a book series that I still treasure deeply, even though it ended up being a small factor into why my friends left me in the first place. My friends blamed the book for my depression, as it dealt with issues like depression, child abuse, mental disorders, etc. I ended up holding a grudge against them because of that, but in the end, my friends and I were pointing fingers at the wrong thing. What was truly the problem between my friends and I was miscommunication between each other. My friends didn’t understand what I was trying to convey to them, and I certainly didn’t help the situation by being obstinate about my opinions. I realized how important it is to be able to effectively communicate with your friends.
It’s kind of a miracle that I’m still alive in this very room. I managed to find help through a person who became really close to me and the acceptance that I really can’t fix everything about myself, no matter how much I tried to change. Depression has severely affected the way I think about things now and how I act too. Oddly enough, I don’t regret going through this experience. I have more of an understanding of how people are or can be as a person, and I’m slowly learning how to let go. There’s a lot of stigma and negativity surrounding depression, as people tend to think that depression is because the person has a weak mentality. But that isn’t true at all. On the contrary, it’s actually quite the opposite. Many people have issues that they deal with that only they experience, and people with depression and other mental illnesses are no different. As individuals, we may not be able to step into the shoes of others, but we can be as considerate and empathetic as possible when helping each other when life decides to throw us curveballs. With that in mind, when someone seems to be sad or lonely, what will you do? Will you ignore them? Or will you attempt to reach out and try to help them in any way you can?
Well hello! I just want to start with the fact I dealt with a thing almost identical to this. I think making this speech available to people is fantastic. It is quite hard to try and find things to cut out because it is all amazing. I think maybe try to cut out things that may seem repetitive. Maybe if you see if you say like terms, try to delete a sentence that says the same thing?
Hope all works out!
Hello, Cinderquill! Welcome to YWS! 
I hope you enjoy it here on YWS - if you have any questions, feel free to ask me! Anyway, let's go on and dive into the review!
But what happens when these questions slowly become the majority of someone’s thoughts?
I felt like a living paradox.
My friends blamed the book for my depression, as it dealt with issues like depression, child abuse, mental disorders, etc.
Hi,This was something which I faced few months back.It is perfectly alright to be empty at times because only then you can fill in new things in your so called 'plate of life'.The very question you pose,'Are you alive?',gives me a sense of you been lonely.If that was the case then,Congratulations!!!You have mastered the eternal happiness which is 'Loneliness'.And you will realise this over a period of time.Cheers!!!:)
Hey! Hope you are having a good day today
I managed to read through the entire writing and I'm impressed with your choice of vocabulary at certain parts.
You have been through a lot and yet managed to become this beautiful soul. You are alive.
It's for a speech you say so I did my best in making this seem a bit more presentable (have done no changes to your writing as i believe there is no certain rules you need to follow for a speech. You have a wonderful writing style you can go ahead with that)
Let’s start off with a simple question: Are you alive? Your first inclination would be to answer yes, wouldn’t it? We’re certainly all standing here, breathing simultaneously and listening to the same person. But do you feel alive, as you sit here in this very room? When you wake up, are you opening your eyes to a day where you believe you can start anew and pursue a life full of dreams, goals, and opportunities? Or are you simply dragging yourself out of bed to repeat the same tedious, monotonous cycle that sums up your life as a whole? But what happens when these questions slowly become the majority of someone’s thoughts?
I wasn’t very independent or social back when I was younger. I technically had friends, but I never had close friends. I would just normally sit with a group of people that I somehow met at the beginning of the school year, but I never had much attachment to them. Then I would stay with them or about 2-3 years until being forced to move to a different school simply because my parents wanted to. But I never thought about it. I was innocent and naive about the world and how it worked, as most children are when they are really young. My parents, of course being the stereotypical Asian parents that they were, always pushed me to try hard in school, and yelled at me when I didn’t try hard enough. Every time they did, I cried, dried tears, and continued to follow their values and beliefs that they wanted me to adhere to.
My experience of middle school started the same way I started elementary school. I was again the transfer student, which meant I knew absolutely no one as always. In the course of the next few months, I found a group of people that I sat with at lunch every day. Everything was normal, until I started noticing how much close knit everyone was compared to me. Everyone there had known each other ever since elementary school. They had formed bonds that had been strengthened over the course of their lives. Where did that leave me, a person who had just entered into their lives for only a few months? This was when the questions began to consume my thoughts, becoming even more pessimistic by each passing day. Soon it went from “Do I belong here?” to “If I were to disappear, would anyone actually care?” My relationship with my parents grew rocky as well, because I realized how much I didn’t want to adhere to their values and beliefs.
I was drowning in a state of hopelessness and despair, slowly letting myself be overwhelmed by my depressing thoughts. I wanted to disappear. I didn’t want to live, yet I couldn’t even put a knife to my own skin because I was scared of pain. I pushed everyone away, but I wanted someone to help me and to actually understand what I was thinking. I felt like a living paradox.
It’s kind of a miracle that I’m still alive in this very room. I managed to find help through a person who became really close to me and the acceptance that I really can’t fix everything about myself, no matter how much I tried to change. Depression has severely affected the way I think about things now and how I act too. Oddly enough, I don’t regret going through this experience. I have more of an understanding of how people are or can be as a person, and I’m slowly learning how to let go. There’s a lot of stigma and negativity surrounding depression, as people tend to think that depression is because the person has a weak mentality. But that isn’t true at all. On the contrary, it’s actually quite the opposite. Many people have issues that they deal with that only they experience, and people with depression and other mental illnesses are no different. As individuals, we may not be able to step into the shoes of others, but we can be as considerate and empathetic as possible when helping each other when life decides to throw us curveballs. With that in mind, when someone seems to be sad or lonely, what will you do? Will you ignore them? Or will you attempt to reach out and try to help them in any way you can?
So It would make you more confident in the speech if you didn't have to bring up sour memories and that's why the edit.
Hope you stay "alive" for a long time hun. And let's do our best in maintaining the positivity.
Cheers
Ms Jane
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