Every dark night
When it’s absent of light,
They are set free
To torture you and me.
~~~
They come from a darkened land,
Reaching with a thousand hands
To fill our minds with fear;
We aren't safe, my dear.
~~~
The shadows will shroud
With their silky black cloud.
Their darkness will touch you;
The nightmare has come true.
~~~
Voices echo from a hall
As they reach from a nearby wall.
A thousand pinching, gripping hands,
Reaching from an unseen land.
~~~
Every dark night,
When it’s absent of light,
They are set free
To torture you and me.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,298 Literary Works • 672,525 Reviews
I would write a review on this, but in my opinion, there's not much to criticize. I thoroughly enjoyed this poem, I love the fantasy feel to it. The simple short lines and simple rhymes give it an eerie feel to it, absolutely amazing! Great job on this piece and I hope you'll post more of your works soon!
Hello Lady, I hope you are doing well. This was quite an interesting poem and I will admit, I re-read it about 23 times. Overall, in my opinion, the rhyme scheme was fine, the story told well and I only had a question mark over my head on one part:
I understand what you are implying here. They are reaching from a wall that is close to the victims. Buuut (of course, there's a but) I think you could use a better word here such as nearby or something like that. Do you see??? Alright, I'll assume you do. I'm not much of a reviewer of poetry so this was simple and sweet and short .
Have a fantastic day,
The Kid
Thank you. This review seemed pretty useful. Thanks. I may just edit this and use what you had said.
Sounds more 'flowy' in that sense.
Hi. this is kman134. i'm her to review your work.
first off, this was very haunting and very descriptive. honestly, as an adamant believer in string theory, i can say that i believe the shadow people exist. their ominous and stalker-ish appearance that observes and follows you where ever you go, and if you're not careful, they will take you and do inhumane and horrific things to you.
the emotion and tone of the poem was very macabre and horrific. it's a very good horror poem. Edgar Allen Poe and H.P.Lovecraft would be somewhat proud, but still judgmental in your fic.
Anyways, it's pretty good. i hope you can write more.
I'm on the borderline of if shadow people or real or not, but I think it's cool someone has the same interests!
Thank you for the comments and reviews guys! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Note: I am fully aware that the poem may have some formatting issues. The publishing center was not cooperating with me at all. If you have tips for that then please tell me. Thanks!