Young Writers Society

Planet of the spiderbirds

Dust. He could smell the faint odor of dust, and for a moment he was reliving his past. However, reality soon kicked in. He slowly opened his eyes and a smear of blood appeared on the glass panel before him. His head was thrumming, and it soon dawned on him that their spacecraft has crash-landed.

Within the hour he shed the daze and gathered up what crew remained. The spacecraft was completely wrecked; it lay stretched across what appeared to be an endless desert. Nighttime was coming and the crew gathered outside, struggling to get a campfire going. With two other crewmembers dead, only two others remained alongside him, John Peters and Jennifer White.

Dr. Kelsey had died on impact, Peters had told him. Probably for the best he concluded. He found her really annoying. Something all of the crew would most likely agree on. Now he sat alone, recording a last, final message for his beloved ship.

“This is Steve Jefferson, captain of the deep space explorer vessel Eurydice. We have crash-landed on a foreign planet. We have no idea where we are or how this happened. Our ship’s AI is beyond repair and we are unable to salvage or repair the ship itself. Dr. Kelsey and our celebrity co-crewmember Pauly Shore has died upon impact. Morale is low. Night is coming. Truth be told, I’m not entirely sure why I’m even recording this last log. According to our calculations, we have been in deep sleep for over two thousand years. For all I know there’s nobody to ever get this message. If someone ever does, will you do me a favor? Check if I left the stove on.” And with that, Captain Steve Jefferson, brother of famed president Jeff Jefferson, ended the last audio log of the Eurydice, with a concluding thought which may or may not be attributed to his current psychological condition.

They slept under the stars that night. However, in the following morning, their worst nightmares would creep into their lives.

Steve sat on a makeshift chair he had made out of destroyed equipment when he noticed movement at the top of a nearby desert bank. To both his astonishment and horror, a large gathering of unimaginable creatures came galloping down the slopes, carried on horseback. As the screams of his other crewmembers filled his ears, he got a better look at these creatures. He could only describe them as giant spiders. With wings. Though interspersed within their mandibles was something else. It resembled beaks. But that’s as far as he got before the horror and the screams got to him. He followed his fellow crewmembers into unconscious relief.

Once he finally awoke later, he found himself caged. Like an animal. His friends were nowhere to be seen. Only minutes went by before he was no longer alone, as several of these nightmare creatures entered the large, dome-like room. Steve scrambled into the middle of the cage. “Oh god, oh my god. Please.” He pleaded.

One of the creatures, which Steve concluded to be the leader (because it was wearing a crooked pirate hat on its head), stepped up to the cage. For a long moment, it just stood there, staring at him. All of its glaring eyes made his back shiver. Soon, however, to Steve’s complete surprise, it spoke.

“Who. Are. You?” It stuttered, as a guttural throaty voice trembled harshly from the creature.

It can speak! Steve thought to himself, astonished.

“I am Captain Steve Jefferson of the spacecraft Eurydice. I came from the skies. I am human.” He slowly replied.

The creature studied him closely. At one point it appeared to be chuckling to itself. Buying for time, or perhaps even spared death, due to interest, Steve quickly tried to establish more communication.

“Who… who are you?” He asked carefully.

The spiderlike bird-creature cocked his head to the side. “ I’m glad you asked, bud. My friends call me ‘Bzzzaaccccpllllthhu’, but you can call me Larry.” The creature seemed more upbeat now.

Though a bit surprised at this, he nevertheless continued. “Where am I? Who are you creatures?”

Larry the spiderbird hunched down on his hind legs and leaned up against the cage. The other creatures behind him left the room. “We are the spiderbirds. We rule this planet. And we always have.” He said.

He went on to explain about the origins of the spiderbird race and how they all came to be. Including the creation of the earth, their birth in the hands of spiderbird god, and how their almighty creator had sent his only son, spiderbird Jesus, to lead them towards goodness and grace. Sadly, due to the stupidity and insolence of their predecessors, they had actually gone ahead and crucified spiderbird Jesus, which required not only one cross, but several.Obviously because he had so many limbs.

Steve couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Despite some groggy moments in his memory, he had vague memories of somebody named Jesus. Was that a guy he had played football with in collage? Or was it the savior of mankind? The crash had really done a number on him.

At that point, Larry got Steve’s attention again. “By the way, we ate your friends. They were delicious.” He cawed at Steve.

Now he was really panicking. This was going to end very badly unless he managed to scrounge up a plan. It was at that moment that he remembered he had a small laser pistol tucked into the back of his uniform. These stupid creatures didn’t even check me out, he thought to himself.

With great haste, he totally shot Larry the spiderbird in the face, quickly followed by the lock. After that though, he was unsure what to do. However, as backup for coming for his now deceased new buddy, he had to fight his way out of there.

Which he did. A lot of disgusting, spiderbird goo had been splattered across the dusty earth as he had made his escape. His laser pistol was running low on batteries. He was on the run on a foreign, dangerous planet. All seemed lost. Then he saw it.

The Statue of Liberty.

It dawned on him. He was not on a foreign planet. This was Earth! Everything he ever knew was gone, and these horrid creatures had taken over. Steve completely lost it.

“You maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! Damn you all to hell!”

Author’s note:

At one point in this story, Captain Steve Jefferson proclaimed the following phrase; “Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty spider!”

The narrator conveniently forgot about that.