oh woe is me
a boy in the forest
lost
beckoning calls of the birds
telling me where to go
are they my friend........ or foe
do I follow them
or go on my own
do I look for water
or food
do i look for friends
or stay alone
I am a wolf
a lone wolf
no friends or foes
just neutral
*cries*
i hate the forest
*howling in the distance*
oh no
better get going
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137,476 Literary Works • 672,034 Reviews
First not to sound rude or anything but like the others have been saying, this story needs to be under poems instead of short stories. Second this story has lots of potential but it is kind of lost due to vocabulary and wording if you put a little more wording and feeling into this poem i think it would be alot better. I like how you describe the wolf being alone and how he wants to call upon to the birds for direction. Interesting poem.
Hello!
At first I was thinking that this was just realistic, and serious. Then came the end. 
Funny! Though i should be I. Other than that, I couldn't really find anything wrong with it! 
Great job! I will be looking forward to reading more of your work soon! 
I do agree that you should put this in another category. Maybe poetry>narrative>humor or something like that.
"*cries*
i hate the forest
*howling in the distance*
oh no
better get going."
I love this!
-Snazzy
thanks. that really means a lot
Like other people have already stated this is more a poetic piece that a short story. I like that the story deals with a wolf boy who is in his natural setting of the forest and yet still an outsider in that he is a lone wolf and separated from all of the other wolves. I thought it was interesting to call the birds his friends or foe when in reality they would probably be dinner for a wolf boy. The searching for food or water etc. was a strange idea. Usually you would search for your largest need first and the narrator’s running away from the howling of the wolves at the end of the pice tells the reader that the search for friends is not going to happen. I think that you could expand what it means to be neutral. In this poem it seems like it means that the narrator falls somewhere in the middle, but neutrality has so much depth and potential that could be explored. I think that if you wanted to turn this into to a short story the more subtle aspects of this piece could come to the surface. Why would someone who hates the forest then go to the forest? Was it becoming lost that made him hate the forest? Starting the piece with “Oh woe is me” is also a very dramatic way to start a piece and could use more dramatic tension throughout the piece in order to capture the flare of the first line.
Hey,
I'm not sure I would call this a short story with a few tweaks it would make a great poem however. My biggest problem right now is the lack of well anything honestly. In my opinion any great... well anything really has punctuation, Capitalization, and vocabulary. Clearly this poem has vocabulary Its just not very complex. And do I really need to elaborate on the other two? I wish you had put a bit more effort into this it could really be something amazing if you poured a little time into it. I hope to read more of your work in the future.
Sincerely,
Collideascope
Hello, starfire.
you are in third person, but in the rest of the piece, you write in first person. While this rule can be broken, there needs to be a good reason for it, and I see no need for it if you rewrite this a little and describe the forest rather than just telling the reader that there is a boy lost in the forest. Right now, there are only a few lines that could be considered descriptive, and that is not enough, whether you are looking at the piece through a short fiction lens or from the standpoint of a poet.I'm not quite sure why this is posted in the short story section. It looks like it's formatted more like a poem. Perhaps you should move it to a different section in order to properly represent the kind of literature this most reflects.
At first I thought that this poem would contain a deeper meaning, but by the end of the poem, this hope was lost as it fell into a kind of chatspeak and the end told readers that indeed, the poem is just about someone in the forest.
Though the wilderness can be frightening, you miss some grand opportunities to allow nature to become an opposing character to the kid in the woods. Nature can be a powerful character, and I encourage you to use more literary devices in your piece, like personification, metaphor, and simile to create something that is interesting to read.
Your point of view seems to switch. At one point, in the line
I suggest you keep your capitalization consistent. There are several instances in which you capitalize your "I"s and a few instances in which you leave them lowercase. Your punctuation is similarly inconsistent. I usually don't say anything about that punctuation because it is a stylistic choice, but the choice must be intentional, and it must contribute in some way to the poem (assuming that this is a poem). If I leave punctuation out, it might be to contribute to a melancholy air, and if I have one or two places in which I use punctuation, they might be to emphasize a point in the poem. Here, it seems that your punctuation is random, and I suggest you rethink where you're putting your periods. Also, three periods in an ellipses is enough. The amount of periods do not equal the amount of time the reader allows for a pause in the writing. Personally, I suggest that you add more punctuation, as your phrasing tends to be on the fragmented side, and it would be helpful to know when one thought ends and the next begins.
I hope you found this review thorough and helpful. Have a nice day.
wow. a boy in the forest was meant to say i am just a boy in the forest.
Yes, but it's in a different point of view from the rest of the piece. Fixing it so it says "I am a boy in the forest" would be much clearer. It is unclear.
Okay, the feelings you are trying to transmit and the overall message is understandable. The problem with it is, as some said, punctuation, the use of capital letters and all format wise. It is formatted like a poem not as a short story but it can be corrected. Don't lose faith in your writing, we are here to help you through th mistakes.
i am not feeling anything. it just came to me