Well where do we begin? "At the start" a rather cynical and profoundly irritating voice shouts out at me. Well where else would I begin? Certainly not at the end! That sort of malarky is left for amateur theatre where the end is the start and the start is the end; it's perfectly confusing and sumptuously predictable. Nevertheless we must press on with our first entry, one that shall grace this under noticed and poorly represented website with some quick wit, some unforgivable tangents and other general malaise forgiven only by those declared mentally insane.
Indeed we begin at the beginning where all good stories should start, I would strive to dive into my history but if there was ever a text book entry for my life it would contain two things; a blurry picture of me looking dreadfully bored and an introductory conclusion stating, "He has less history than the dust in the corner of the room." Indeed I have no history, besides I am only 17 years old, a teenager with 'history' would be dreadfully worrying as I would assume they would have to be vastly intelligent or killed mid way through their teenage life. I am glad I have no history, for in fact I despise History, both the subject and the concept.
Source questions in school lead to my disapproval of its existence in the classroom and its sensational importance lead to my despise of it as a concept. History is often looked back on and is recalled to be the simple most important factor in shaping the world we live in today. Of course there is no argument against it, history is the foundation of society, politics and culture today, but the philosophical element was the basis of my rejection of its necessity. "What if Hitler had won World War 2? Would we all be speaking German?" The fact is he didn't, what happened in history happened. People dwell on the idea of a small change in history effecting everything we see today (not that World War 2 was a 'small thing'), well I'm sure it would change everything, but the cold fact is, it didn't. It did not happen. Read your textbooks, flick through the frivolous nonsense that is 'BBC Bitesize' and draw from that what you can, but please do not look back on it with philosophical hindsight with questions starting with 'What if...'. What happened in the past, happened, don't strain your socially deprived little minds over something that never was.
I am dreadfully bored of this individual entry and so I'm going to gracefully drift off too its conclusion now. Looking back I realise this was more of a rant than a blog style post but who cares anyway? It is effectively history now at this point and looking back and wondering if I could change it would only make me a hypocrite. I hope you enjoyed this completely useless and frankly poor first piece of work and I hope (not for your sake) that more will follow. I shall endeavour to stick more to solid topics in the future but where is the fun in that?
I bid you farewell young aspiring writers. If you have made it this far you truly are bored and should probably find a psychiatrist to help you. If you skim-read the majority of this post, we're on the same page. Any spelling errors or grammatical inconstancies can be placed carefully in a place where the sun doesn't shine.
Au Revoir, Auf Wiedersehen, до свидания, goodbye...