#3: THE EFFECT OF
TERRIBLE MUSIC
Generally,
I wasn’t an impulsive kind of person. I wouldn’t claim to be totally cautious,
either, but for the most part, I rarely did things without some thinking. I’d certainly never hopped on a bus to the other
side of town – the decidedly shifty part, all things considered, now that I’d
properly examined Freddie’s message – without so much as a doubt. Even as I sat
down at the back of the bus, I was more surprised
at myself than anything else. Aside from rapid beating of my heart and the
slight adrenaline-fuelled tremble of my hands when I slid my phone out of my
pocket, I felt pretty in-control. And if I was completely honest, chasing after
Freddie was far less complicated than trying to untangle Eugene’s weird-arse
behaviour.
It
kind of stung that he hadn’t chased after me. I’d known Eugene for long enough
that it was hardly a revelation that he was a total wuss when it came to
anything that could have consequences, but I did hope that I might prove to be
some kind of exception to that rule. As the brick and weatherboard houses of my
neighbourhood flashed by outside, I tried to quell the strong desire to go back
to yesterday, when Pugnacious Dogma had been whole, Freddie and Audrey were
still together and Eugene had been insolent but carefree. Yesterday was normal,
and so, so far away from this bus.
I
had little doubt that the first thing Eugene would do was going to be dobbing
me into Tahlia – that way, I would be her problem, not his – so I quickly
texted her if eugene calls u, ignore him.
Within
a couple of seconds, I got a reply, Ok,
why?
I
paused for a moment, considering my reply. On the one hand, I didn’t want to
lie to Tahlia, but I knew that she wouldn’t like what I was doing. Her
loyalties lay with Audrey, and the fact that I was helping Freddie for the sake
of the band wouldn’t sit well with her. And unlike Eugene, she actually would
have the guts to come after me.
he’s being a prick, I finally said. It wasn’t a lie,
not really, and I figured that it would be a half-truth that Tahlia would be
happy with.
Whatd he do? Call me!
I
glanced up from my phone to see that the bus stop I was meant to get off at was
just down the road. I stood up and pulled the cord to get the driver to stop,
and quickly sent Tahlia a final text saying, just being a general prick. don’t worry about me. I hav to go now tho.
see u tomorrow?
I
turned off my phone before I could see any reply, and stood up. The bus
juttered to a halt with a slightly concerning screech of breaks, and without
the sound of the engine, I could already make out the sound of nearby music,
even though if my memory of the area was correct, the address Freddie had given
me at was on the other side of the block.
Despite
it being nearly eight thirty, it was still warm out, and the sun hung low in
the sky. I was glad for the light as I hurried through the street, trying to
pretend that the stigma surrounding this part of town wasn’t making me nervous.
The houses were uglier, the gardens less tended, the cars rustier, out here. Doesn’t mean anything, I tried to remind
myself. Even still, I quickened my pace, as I rounded the corner and followed
the sound of music.
When
I reached the house that Freddie had sent me the address to, I didn’t even need
to check my phone to make sure I was in the right spot. The same kind of music
that I’d heard when he’d called me was reverberating off the footpath, and
through the open garage door I could see people standing around, talking and
laughing. I dialled Freddie’s number to let him know I had arrived, but my call
went straight to voicemail.
“Dickhead,”
I muttered, and loitered a moment. I didn’t particularly want to enter the
party. It looked like the kind of revelry that ended up on the news after
getting gatecrashed or growing out of control. I’d only been to a couple of
really big parties before, but never one which I hadn’t been invited to. Even
standing on the edge of the driveway, I could smell the alcohol, and I was
reminded of one of our Friday nights last month, when Theo had smuggled a cask
of cheap wine out of his parents’ place. Tahlia had barely taken a sip before
she had begun giggling at everything from Theo’s struggle to get the wine to
pour from the cask to the whispered conversation between Audrey and Freddie. It
had been one of the less enjoyable Fridays we’d spent together – alcohol made
me restless enough as it was, Audrey and Freddie had spent half the night
making out on my carpet, Tahlia became hysterical after a glass and all Theo
seemed capable of doing was mucking up the lyrics to his own band’s songs.
Eugene had been the only one who had been remotely enjoyable to be around that
night.
Eugene.
Somehow,
the thought of him steeled my resolve, and I decided to enter the party. If I
didn’t, I’d be as gutless as he was, and there was no way I’d be able to face
him with that knowledge.
“Have
you seen Freddie? Freddie Atkins?” I asked the first girl I saw, shouting to
make my voice heard over the deafening music. She stared at me in confusion, so
I said, “Never mind.”
I
asked some more people the same question, receiving a variety of responses: a
few more blank looks, a couple of no,
sorrys and one suggestion to look inside. One girl placed a drink in my
hand, a boy with dreadlocks stared at my chest as I passed by him and I was
offered a cigarette in response to my question three times.
I
followed the advice of the softly-spoken boy who had recommended that I should
look inside for Freddie, taking a sip of the drink that had been given to me as
I walked. It was in one of those big red cups you see in music film clips and
Hollywood movies; I didn’t think that people actually used them in reality, much less round here. Whatever the cup
contained was sickly sweet and the acrid taste of the alcohol burnt my throat
as I swallowed. Prudently, I decided not to drink any more of it, and put it on
a nearby table.
“Too
strong for you?” I turned around to see Freddie standing behind me, a smirk
cutting across his pale features. With most of his hair hidden by the beanie he
was wearing, his face looked even sharper and more angular than usual, and the
shadows cast by the setting sun rendered his appearance harsh – even cruel. His
expression did nothing to help this, and I wanted to be done with him as soon
as possible. It was no mean feat to quell the urge to slap him.
“I
didn’t come here to drink,” I replied coolly. “Now let’s go.”
“Come
on, Liv,” he entreated, and walked closer to me. The smirk was partially wiped
off his face, and was replaced an expression I’d seen him use on Audrey dozens
of times. It was a look that he whipped out whenever he wasn’t getting his own
way – which, with Audrey, happened on a semi-regular basis. Tahlia and I
jokingly called it the smoulder. There
was no way in hell that it was going
to work on me, though. “You should stay awhile. Have a drink. Talk to people.
Dance, whatever.”
“Freddie,
I’m doing you a favour here. You asked me to pick you up, and that’s what I’m
doing.”
“It
wouldn’t kill you, y’know.” Freddie bit his lip. “To let go for just one night.
For a chick who hangs out with so many musicians, you really are a goody two
shoes.”
I
glared at him. I knew this all too well. Although my best friends were in a
band who made the kind of music that mothers clucked over and disapproved of, I
was in no way hardcore, but the thing was – neither were they. Eugene would
sass his teachers and Theo swore like a dockworker, but really, they were both
what my parents liked to call ‘good kids’.
I
sighed and said, “Dude, there’s a bus leaving in ten minutes and I’d really
like to be on it. If you wanna stay I’ll give you the money.”
“I’m
going to guess that Audrey called Tahlia after I saw her,” Freddie said, as if
I hadn’t spoken. “Audrey wouldn’t have wanted to go anywhere, so Tahlia would
have gone to be with her. Theo would have gone too because he wants to get in
Tahlia’s pants, which means you and Eugene would have been left behind.”
I
missed whatever point he was building up to. Our group dynamics were
predictable enough – even if I wasn’t completely convinced by Freddie’s
explanation for Theo’s actions – that it was no leap of faith for Freddie to
have worked out what had happened after he dumped Audrey. “What are you getting
at?”
“So
why isn’t Eugene here with you?” A genuine smile crossed Freddie’s face,
growing slowly. He still looked sly, and I still wanted to slap him, but any
meanness had vanished. A quiet voice in my head told me that this was the
Freddie that Audrey had fallen for, the Freddie that first joined Pugnacious
Dogma, but I ignored it.
“Cos
he’s a wimp.” I scowled. The repetitiveness of the music was starting to give
me headache, and there was a grating, high-pitched wail that was layered in
there somewhere in the mix of electronic sound that was buzzing unpleasantly in
my ear. Definitely not my kind of music.
“So
don’t you wanna prove you’ve got more balls than him?” Freddie asked. I raised
an eyebrow, but he continued, “Go on, live a little. No one here knows you, and
I won’t blab.”
Maybe
the terrible music was impairing my better judgement, because I said, “What
would ‘living a little’ look like?”
Freddie
shrugged. “Dunno, that’s probably up to you. Hook up with someone. That’s what
people do at parties.”
He
looked dubious even as he said it. I spluttered, “I don’t!”
His
amusement at my response was evident in his tone as he remarked, “Sure you
could. Who takes your fancy?”
“I
can’t just walk up to some random guy and kiss
him!” I exclaimed.
“Sure
you could,” he repeated, clearly enjoying my discomfort. “It’s no big deal, you
start a conversation with someone, you flirt, and then you go for it. Kiss
‘em.”
“Easy
as that?” I rolled my eyes.
“Easier.”
Freddie narrowed his eyes, daring me. For a heartbeat, I almost took the bait.
“I’m
not doing that, Freddie.” I sighed. Part of me wondered if I actually could do
it. Kiss someone I’d just met. My rational side, which was usually most of me,
rallied against the idea, but whatever part of my spirit which had fired up
tonight wouldn’t let the thought die quite so easily. Even still, I knew the
rational side would win in the end. “I think you know me well enough to know
that I have no interest in making out with someone I don’t know.” Or do I?
“Seriously, Liv, at a party like this, it’s
practically an expectation that you’ll end up hooking up with a stranger.”
I
frown, and seize the opportunity to change the subject. “You go to parties like
this a lot, then?”
“Sometimes,
yeah.”
“All
right.” I spotted a cluster of girls standing in the corner of the room, and
turn Freddie so he was facing them. “If you’re so used to how these parties
work, there’ll be no problem, right? Go ahead.”
“Well,
I can’t just…” Freddie blanched, which was an achievement, considering how pale
he was naturally. “I mean, there’s a certain art to it.”
“Is
there now?”
“Maybe
I just don’t feel like kissing someone just to prove a point to you.” Freddie
snapped, his teasing demeanour vanishing.
“Fine.
Does this mean we can go?” I asked.
As
the words left my lips, the music suddenly stopped. The silence was a sudden
contrast to the enveloping sound that the difference sent my head reeling.
Freddie’s head jolted up, and he looked around.
“No
way, Liv,” he said. “You’re going to want to stay for this.”
I guess we'll see what happens in the rewrites. *shrugs* Freddie was probably my fave character to write just because he's such a tool. I only with he'd gotten a little more screen time.
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