Hey happy~
I appreciate your Watchmen avvie. It makes me happy to see.
Okay, there are two things that will take your essay so much farther than it is: examples and explanations. Without them, you sound like any other guy on the street complaining about the way things are. You're not going to persuade anyone with an essay like this. I would be slow to even really call it an essay. It's more like something that would be part of a blog.
For years we have been guided to the wrong path, led by the leaders of the propaganda in which had justified their definition of 'war against terror'.
Okay. How have we been led down the wrong path? What have these 'leaders of the propaganda' been doing to deceive us? Who are these leaders. Without names, this is sounding very conspiracy like. Don't be afraid to state political opinions by calling out the politicians you think are doing wrong.
Your paragraphs and spacing are really funky, and they make it hard to understand exactly what you mean and where the definition ends. Like Chips said, you need to cite your source better.
Blinded by the false information, we've been the pawn for the political game.
What false information? You never once tell the reader how the government is using us which makes your essay vague and useless. I don't know what purpose the definition of terror was supposed to fulfill. If that definition is correct, and the definition the government is supplying us is wrong, give us the definition the government is giving us!
It is never the reader's job to answer questions. Rhetorical questions are used as a hook at the beginning of a piece (quite honestly, I think rhetorical questions are a cheap way to get the reader interested). It's your job to tell us what's going on, and why we need to be suspicious.
I think that this topic has tons of resources that could help you and would support your argument if you just looked a little. Here's an article that might help you out if you decided to do a little research to improve this essay:
If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, lemme know.
Keep writing,
Megs~
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