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Fading Fairytales - Chapter Seven (I)

by crossroads


997 words for the Last Man Standing contest

(A/N - happening about a day before the end of the last post. Part one of three.)

_______

Iluan pushed himself up on his toes, his hands gripping the wooden armrest of the chair. Looking over it, he could lay his eyes on the crown, shining under the light of many candles, on the seat waiting for its owner.

"It's pretty."

"I know." Erion grinned, standing on the other side and looking down on his little brother. "And it will be mine."

The younger boy's eyes widened slightly. "What will you do with it? It's too big for you to wear, and looks so heavy."

He reached over the armrest to touch it, but Erion's hand slapped his out of the way before his fingers could touch the polished gold.

"Don't touch it," the older boy snapped, taking the crown and observing it from all sides. "Father will get mad at you."

"But you're touching it too."

"That's different." Erion rolled his eyes at his little brother's ignorance. "I'm the heir. I will be wearing it once."

Iluan smiled at the memory as he watched his brother sink to his knee before the Regent. Erion's eyes seemed dark, his face serious, as the crown touched his head. It rested upon his curls like crafter for it, as polished and perfect as Iluan remembered it from their childhood.

The Ceremonial Hall has changed since, although it kept its big windows and tall ceilings, and a dome above the Chair - Iluan remembered the day it was changed, as its walls got covered in tapestries and flags, and the architects expanded it enough to fit all the nobles who silently stood in it now. Yet the feeling stayed the same, and still turned his lips dry and almost made him shiver. Under the paintings on the ceilings, old paintings whom no one has touched ever since the palace was built - before it was even the royal palace, and the Altarians still reigned over the territory of Naavia - Iluan always felt small, as if observed by someone living high above.

"And you will look up to the stars, and the gods shall smile back at you."

The Regent's words marked the ending of the ceremony as Erion swore to serve his people and protect the Realm, and he slowly woke up again. There was no sound to be heard, apart from his footsteps on the stone floor, as he walked up to the Chair. Without a moment of hesitation, gently stroking the old wood carved in symbols once believed to bring prosperity and health, he sat down and looked over the people gathered, before inclining his head slightly as in a silent bow.

A prince walked into this hall, Iluan thought to himself, a king will walk out of it.

He joined the applause and smiled as he caught a quick glimpse of his brother's eyes, before the crowd now allowed to approach hurried to bow to their new king, hiding him from Iluan's view. He could see Ethian sliding from his place next to a wall, like a shadow positioning himself next to the king and watching every move of the nobles, and Sandor, Devin and Hedril glancing at each other from different sides of the room, all three with fingers on barely an inch from the hilts of their swords. Ananna, Erion's little daughter, was chirping some song from the queen's lap, not far from her father, attracting a group of nobles herself. Iluan smiled at her too, but she seemed too busy observing feathers on some lord's hat to notice her uncle's endeavors.

"You look like you're looking for a chance to disappear."

He turned with a start, suppressing a sigh of relief at the sight of his sister. Lenore had a way of sneaking up to him - something she was more than fond of as a child. He smirked. "Is it that obvious?"

She didn't quite make an expression, shrugging slightly and keeping her eyes on the colourful nobility surrounding their brother, but her eyebrow arched a little bit. "The door on the northern side are the least guarded."

Iluan turned in said direction. His eyes fell on a young guard seemingly troubled by sickness of some sort, who kept clutching at his stomach and trying to act professionally. Iluan shook his head slightly, turning back to Lenore.

"I'm not looking for a way to disappear. I'll be leaving for Drakefort with the first light, I can as well pretend I belong here until then."

Lenore shrugged, staying silent for a while, as they both observed the crowd moving to let a tall lady in nearly rainbow-coloured dress pass.

"Will you ask Erion's blessing for the wedding now?" Lenore asked, and Iluan sighed.

"No, I won't." He hesitated. "If I do, I know I won't get it, so why bother?" He shook his head, his expression suddenly turning curious. "What do you think about it?"

"Nothing," Lenore muttered, then continuing in a clearer voice. "Nothing that should matter, in any case. I think you should've sent her to her home four years ago, but it's too late for that now." She met his eyes. "I understand and agree that you're not marrying the Empire, but don't forget who her father is."

With that she left him, simply turning around as if he hasn't opened his mouth to reply. He watched her leave for a while, his eyes on her back as answered a call of some lord or another and joined him in a conversation. Then he allowed himself a silent sigh and shook his head, letting his thoughts flee to his fiancée. He had sent a messenger a few days earlier, closer to when his father died, and he was fairly sure she missed him by now at least as much as he missed her.

I'll be home soon, he promised to himself, shoving the doubts away and imagining her expression as if she could hear him. I'll travel quickly and return safely, and then nothing will be standing in our way anymore.

*


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1634 Reviews


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Fri Oct 24, 2014 12:15 am
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Deanie wrote a review...



Hi Aria!

This is going to be a very short review because there is next to nothing that I can say about this chapter. You wrote it wonderfully and it included almost everything it needed to. In my previous review I mentioned wanting to see some of the siblings opinions of the marriage that is going to happen, and there you have it! You've given me exactly what I was asking for, which is great. I also really liked the usage of the flashback at the beginning and I think it couldn't be better placed and better done. Great job overall with this chapter.

I will be wearing it once.


It might be better if you make once, one day instead. In my opinion it simply sounds better.

I think you did a goo job of showing us the crowning. I wish we could see Iluan's emotions a bit more. Yes, he is feeling reflective after thinking about the flashback mentioned. But does he feel proud to see his brother so graciously accept the throne and pledge towards his people. I get the impression that he is the sibling Iluan relates to most, so I felt like we should get some more sense of pride from this.

But then again, are there going to be differences in their relationship now that he is the king? Iluan mentions how he still won't get the graces he asked his father for in his marriage from his brother, because he is marrying the enemy, supposedly. So will this crowning now mean that their relationship will be more formal, more stilted now that his brother has new matters to attend to, and more status? Or does Iluan think their relationship will remain the same? It would've been nice to see some of these thoughts in there as well.

I like how you located everyone in the room and we could see how others were taking this as well. Honestly, there really is nothing more to add. This was bordering on perfect. I apologise for the short review ;)

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Deanie x




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Sun Jun 29, 2014 7:10 pm
Kelpies wrote a review...



Hello there AriaAdams!

The quality of this chapter matches if not exceeds all the others. I cannot wait to see how this novel will turn out. It seems we are still in the process of getting introduced to everything, and you are easing us into some action. Just a guess. I shall not wait much longer on this chapter, and I shall go to the next.

~Kelpies




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Tue Jun 17, 2014 3:50 pm
Noelle wrote a review...



Hi there!

The flashback in the beginning was very well placed. At first I thought I was just reading another flashback that would fit into the story later on. But I didn't think it would fit in that quickly. It's kind of like foreshadowing, just really, really close to the event that's being foreshadowed ^_^

So another good chapter here. We're slowly getting to see the whole picture, how all these lives weave together. We've got the new king crowned here, which gives the palace a new life. And then Iluan will be leaving in the morning to wed his fiancée, which will give the kingdom new trouble since the empire will have a prince (or whatever the hierarchy is in an empire). The big picture is starting to come together.

Silver got all the nitpicks already so I'm just going to focus on the overall feel of the chapter.

There's a very lighthearted feel to this chapter, something that hasn't happened in a while. I feel like the beginning chapters and the ones following have all had this ominous feel to them. I mean, with the king dying and the whole deal with the labyrinth, there really couldn't be another feeling we could get. But since then I feel like the story has been getting a bit lighter. And I feel like Iluan really does feel happy for his brother getting the crown. And I think that's what really lightens the chapter.

So seeing as Iluan is leaving in the morning to go to his fiancé, I feel like everything is going to start coming together soon. At least I hope so. Because like I said in an earlier review, I feel like there's more than one story going on here. It hasn't come together for me yet.

Keep writing!
**Noelle**




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Mon Jun 09, 2014 4:05 am
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Snowery wrote a review...



Hullo my 255th review! :)

Main Points

I will be wearing it once."


I know that this in dialogue and that it's a child speaking but this is worded very strangely. "I'll be wearing it once" implies that he will wear it just once and never again. Is this foreshadowing? Are you trying to hint to us that his reign on the crown maybe ill fated? Otherwise it might sound better as "I'll be wearing it one day." :)

his face serious,


Personally i would put an "and" before "his" mainly because without it the reader may expect a third description and when it doesn't come then it reads a little funny.

Iluan remembered the day it was changed, as its walls got covered in tapestries and flags,


These two clauses don't flow well together and for a while I wondered why. I think it's because of the word "as" is in present tense while the previous clause was in third. It seems that Erion is remembering the tapestries being changed a while ago but the clause implies that the tapestries are being changed while he's thinking so it's somewhat confusing.

Yet the feeling stayed the same,


What feeling? It's a little vague. Unless you use the word "atmosphere'', which may fit better.

Under the paintings on the ceilings, old paintings whom no one has touched ever since the palace was built


This entire sentences flowed strangely. It was never explained "what" was under the painting. I kept reading and thinking to myself "under the painting was what?" It's easy to assume that the "paintings" first mentioned and the "old paintings" are the same. I think though that you mean that the "old paintings" were under the current paintings? If you do then it would be good to have a "were" after the comma.

So chronologically,this chapter takes place before the last one? Seeing as Rile saw his ship at the end? I think this is an interesting move, just remember not to make things too confusing :)

It was an interesting chapter, and I'm really glad that we've returned to the Verylle family. It helps with the "anchoring" thing that I mentioned before, because we're brought back to a somewhat familiar place. I love the little memory at the beginning, it provides context for what is happening now, and also it sheds some light on Erion's character. He seems a little :/ and thus I'm a little worried about the future of Naavia :) Illuan seems to be a pretty nice guy, though I wonder if he's ever been envious of his older brother... I think you've actually managed to define his personality pretty well for such a short chapter, so great job :)

I think you also managed to convey the image of a bustling courtroom really well too, having us skim over many faces without becoming confused or overwhelmed.

I'm also glad we've finally met Lenore, she seems interesting and somewhat mysterious. I'm looking forward to seeing more of her ^.^

Anyways, I have to run. Exams you know -.- Keep it up and happy writing! :) :)

Silverlock




crossroads says...


Thank you! :3
I just feel like I need to explain the feeling and paintings thing xD The "old paintings" are the same paintings mentioned before the comma, so you assumed right. Under them, Iluan feels small and as if observed by someone high above, like the end of that line says, and that is the feeling mentioned in the line before.
I'll edit the other ones ^^
Oh and good luck with the exams xD



Silverlock says...


*Blinks slowly* *stares at screen* *face palms* Oh right! I get it now, Iluan is under the paintings! ^.^ *nods vigorously* Yeah, that's totally my bad, I told you I could be a little slow >.<
Though, I would say that the feelings a still a little unclear, they come across as two separate feelings in two separate instances, that's just my opinion :)

Anyway, sorry for my little blunder and thanks! I'll definitely need it :)




Doors are for people with no imagination.
— Skulduggery Pleasant