z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

The Book Man, Chapter 56 (Revised)

by BluesClues


56 THE FLIGHT

Neva sat in brooding silence as he finished his story. Christian drew a breath and said as politely as he could manage, “Forgive me, but even if it was their job to guard him—well, as he is your brother, don’t you think you ought to take more responsibility for him?”

Neva’s brows contracted over his indigo eyes. He said nothing but glared until Christian said, “Never mind. But you see, that’s why I’m here. Goblin is returning to power, and the fairies sent me to find Morrow.”

“You?” Neva said. “Why should they send you? I can see at a glance you are not an adventurer.”

“I hardly know,” Christian admitted. “But here I am. And I’d like your help, if you’d be willing to give it.”

Neva stretched. As he did so, feathery white wings spread from his shoulders to stretch as well. They were so huge that Christian wondered both how he had been unable to see them before and whether the angel was only stretching to impress upon him how large and powerful he really was.

It was only when he was done stretching that Neva settled back in his throne and asked, “What help would you ask of me?”

Christian could hear Narodnaya in his head, warning him not to expect more than transportation to the Sunforest, but he forged onward. If Neva had been concerned enough about Earth to want to keep Goblin from getting to it, he couldn’t see why the angel would not want to remove him from it.

“Well,” he said, “if it wouldn’t be too much of an imposition—well, first I should like help finding Morrow.”

“Why did the fairies not send you to the Sunforest?” Neva asked. “Why did they think it right to send you to me?”

“Er—” Christian hardly liked to admit the truth when the angel already had such a negative opinion of Aurelia and her sisters. “Er, well, you see, they did mean to send me to the Sunforest, but—but something threw me off course. I mean, I think that’s what happened. It’s all a bit of a blur.”

Neva stroked his chin, gazing at Christian as though trying to decide whether this was the truth of the matter.

“I see,” he said at last. “What else do you ask of me?”

“Would you—would you come back to Earth with me and fight?”

Neva smiled mirthlessly. “Does it not occur to you, human, that if the fairies had meant me to return with you they would have sent you to me instead of trying to send you to the Sunforest?”

He does not mean to help, Narodnaya said viciously, for all he claims to love your kind.

Neva scowled at her and said, “Do not question me, marsh-witch. Indeed it astonishes me you should agree to help, for all you have always claimed to hate his kind.”

It was the first time he had acknowledged her, and she was caught off-guard. Perhaps she had thought he could not hear her.

It is different—Goblin has wreaked his havoc on my lands as well—and you have seen yourself this one is not like the others.

Her voice in Christian’s head sounded miserable and almost embarrassed. Christian grew angry again. Narodnaya had seemed unshakeable to him and he did not like that Neva should have said something to upset her, although he couldn’t understand why it had done so.

“Leave her alone,” he said. “She’s been nothing but kind to me. If you ask me she’s much kinder than you, and frankly much braver. She’s come all this way with me just to have you insult her, when you won’t even agree to help me and you didn’t think it was your duty to keep your own brother from escaping your world and—”

“Enough, enough!” Neva laughed. Christian quailed at the sound, surprised by the angel’s change in mood. “You started off beautifully in your defense of her, but I understand your general meaning and so there is no need to go on abusing me in that vein. You are a funny creature! Most people are either terribly arrogant or utterly terrified in my presence, and here you can’t decide whether to humble yourself and grovel at my feet or to upbraid me for insulting your friend.”

“I was not groveling—” Christian said, but Neva laughed again.

“Peace, brother. I meant nothing by it. Narodnaya, I apologize. You have done well by your lands, and I do not forget the fairies once thought you an ally of my brother.”

I do not forget you stopped them in their efforts to destroy me as such, Narodnaya said stiffly. Her eyes shone like two fireflies in the dimness of the garden. But it is true you do not mean to help.

“I will help a little,” Neva said, rising from his chair. “I will take this human to the Sunforest to see Morrow. I will not interfere any more than that. The humans must protect their own world as I must protect mine.”

His deep voice was so full of finality that Christian could do nothing but bow and say, “Thank you.”

Neva smiled at him and stood up, spreading his wings again.

“You are gracious,” he said, “for someone who still wishes me ill-will. Let us away.”

The angel led them through the garden and into a twisting hallway that brought them to a door less grand than the others in the palace. When they went through it they found themselves back out on the mountaintop, gazing at the stars that hung low over the horizon. The air was as cold as ever, and Christian shivered as the door shut on the warmth behind them. Neva crouched down.

“Climb onto my back,” he commanded.

Christian hesitated and then did so, feeling absurdly like a long-legged child getting a piggyback ride from his father. He looked at Neva’s bare white back and the arch of his wings, wondering where to put his hands.

“Hold tight,” Neva said.

Christian had barely hooked his fingers over the spot where Neva’s wings connected to his body when the angel launched himself into the sky so quickly that Christian was sure he would fall off. His fingers slipped from the great wings as they beat, so he grabbed Neva’s shoulders instead. A glance back showed him Narodnaya speeding through the air behind them, her mossy gown and wild hair blowing behind her; a glance below, and he saw the mountains flying by beneath them, followed by open fields and sleeping villages and rivers glittering in the moonlight. Those two glances were all he had the courage for. He leaned forward into Neva’s neck, tightened his grip on the smooth shoulders, and squeezed his eyes shut as his stomach flipped in protest of the flight.

It went on much longer than Christian would have liked. By the time they began their descent into the Sunforest, the sun had begun to rise. Christian saw a spot in the center of the forest that, from above, looked like the site of an explosion: gray and flattened, with debris littering the forest floor and the tree-trunks twisted and opened.

“That is where Goblin was held,” Neva said. “He did great damage when he escaped.”

He sounded so grieved by this Christian could almost feel sorry for him—almost—but, he told himself crossly, if Neva was so powerful he could have stopped it, after all.

A short while later they landed near the edge of a clearing. Christian clambered down from the angel’s back, his knees shaking as his feet hit solid ground. Through the trees he saw the light of cooking fires. Narodnaya drifted down beside him.

“This is where I shall leave you,” Neva said. He too was peering through the trees at the fires and the shadowy people moving between them. His indigo eyes held pain and compassion. His face was so beautiful it was difficult not to feel pain and compassion for him at the sight, but Christian reminded himself not to do so and only bowed again and said another thank-you. Then he turned away from the angel and headed for the clearing.


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1007 Reviews


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Tue Aug 12, 2014 1:29 pm
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TimmyJake wrote a review...



Timmy here!

Now I am uncertain of this Neva. He still seems very pompous, self-centered, arrogant, blah, blah, blah, but there is a certain... goodness about him. I mean, he isn't bad or anything, and he doesn't want to put evil on their land, its just that he thinks so highly of himself and his land I think his judgment is a bit clouded because of that. At least, there is a bit of my opinion. It is obvious he thinks very little of humankind, and even of Narodnaya, although he seemed to warm a little towards her towards the end of the chapter, where they were talking about how he rescued her from the fairies who would have killed her.

Its funny. All of these people, and so many of them either potential enemies or truly enemies, and Christian becomes friends with them all.

“I hardly know,” Christian admitted


He hardly knows... what? It sounded like he was about to say something, and didn't, but you structured it in such a way so that I know he didn't stop saying something... or did he? The sentence just seems so abrupt and unfinished. Hardly knows... what?

It was the first time he had acknowledged her, and she was caught off-guard. Perhaps she had thought he could not hear her.


This part didn't make sense, because we all know that Narodnaya has known Neva for a long, long time. So wouldn't Naya know for certain if Neva could understand her or not? And if this is Christian making an observation, then its completely fine--just make the reader understand that it isn't fact, but more like Christian making a guess for the situation. Yesh.

feeling absurdly like a long-legged child getting a piggyback ride from his father.


Absolutely perfect. ^.^

I really have no other feedback on this chapter, other than to merely squeak out that I loved the ride you took Christian on. Not only could he see and hear it, but so could I and the picture you painted was described wonderfully--not too much, just the right amount of description in it. Yay! And your continuing descriptions of Neva as we go just add to this feeling of... awe that I have to this creature. Of course, I still have this strange feeling of repulsion by his obsessiveness about himself and his place, (I mean, come on! Just because you have wings doesn't mean you are the only cool angel in town, right?) but he is starting to warm up to Christian and show his good side.

Keep going, Blue! Or maybe I should, and you should wait. hehe. I want to review the last chapter right after you post it. Yesssss.
~Darth Timmyjake




BluesClues says...


Keep going, Blue! Or maybe I should, and you should wait. hehe. I want to review the last chapter right after you post it.


Heh heh heh. Don't give me another excuse to procrastinate, because I will.



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Sun Apr 27, 2014 4:24 pm
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Messenger wrote a review...



I'm back and . . .wow. I mean I'm suddenly looking at this story from a whole new angle. This is lovely. I just . . . . gaah must finish it!

and all Christian could think was that Minerva had already lost an arm and he was not going to let her get hurt again—

If she already lost an arm then how can she be shooting a slingshot? Her teeth.

“Morrow?’

You've got n apostrophe instead of quotation mark on the right.

Instead their bodies vanished beneath the grass as if they had never been.

I think you need a comma after "instead"

[quot]When they had reached the trellis Neva turned to the crowd and said,[/quote]
Another comma after "trellis"

What am I supposed to say Blue! This story is so lovely! It is so real, so brutally real, so sad, and yet so joyful! I still don't care much for Neva, and although I didn't like Tirion a lot, it was still sad to see him go. It was sadder to see Morrow so heartbroken. but at last he did something to make his people proud. And Goblin will not be killed! I'm so happy for that.

The emotions in this chapter were really well done, and Tirion's burial was really, really cool. I can't wait to see how you cap this amazing story off.

~Messenger




BluesClues says...


I actually thought about the slingshot thing a while ago (after I posted this, obviously), but I haven't fixed it yet. Or have I? *looks* Nope. Dash it all. Well, I'm editing right now so that's one thing I know I have to change.



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Mon Apr 21, 2014 9:01 am
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Deanie wrote a review...



NOOO NOT TIRION WHY BLUE WHYYYY

Now this was the sorrow I was asking for ^.^ And with a bit of sorrow for Imelda as well you're going to have your readers in bits :D Juuuust like they should be xD


So let's talk about he first page. Everything was good there, and we got to see some of Neva's powers as I was hoping to. And at least people believe Goblin up to some extent now and they can see that maybe he isn't completely evil. No he hasn't earned the Aurelia and her sisters forgiveness, and no Neva isn't completely for him yet but that is only to be expected. I hope his imprisonment is over soon though. Azal is not to be blamed :(

What I did think pretty fast was there was the end of the battle. And in the next moment Tirion and Morrow are suddenly there with all the hellhounds and spiders and such. It may just be me but I'm missing all your transitions. Take a little longer with them so no one misses them so quickly. I just felt like the pacing was a bit too fast for me - they barely got a breather from the battle and boom, sorrow time.

Second part - wait a second what? Minerva just disappeared and Christian didn't say a thing or think a thing of it? DD: I understood the goodbye and the farewell with the troupe and brothers and Conrad + Lisa being like it was. But Minerva? I'm so confused. I thought there would be more of a romantic parting of ways... hmm... I feel like you have something up your sleeve! (I'm meaning you'd better.)

You know what? We never got to know what deviated Christian from his journey when he went through the portal! I feel like that should've already been mentioned by now... so maybe that's something you need to backtrack and explain there.

I must read till the end. Because this is killing me in a nice way :3

Deanie x




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Mon Apr 07, 2014 4:02 am
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Iggy wrote a review...



DO TELL ME WHY CHRISTIAN DIDN'T GO WITH THEM.

I mean, I'm confused. If the magic leaves the land, won't Minerva be unable to turn human? Won't she stay a statue? Do tell me you have a plan for this. >>

Okay, so TEAR GALORE. Of course Tirion would die. Of course you'd do this, because you're cruel and vindictive and I hate you. My poor Morrow ;_; I just want them to be happy and married and make figurative babies and ugh. How could you do this?

I'm also sad that the bodies of the fallen were never given a proper funeral. But damn, did Neva totally kick butt at the end xD If only he'd been there at the beginning to work his magic and then maybe no one would've died. Jerk.

I really do hope Goblin/Azal is okay. I'm pretty upset that he's gonna be locked away, and seeing as how he's basically immortal, that's a long time. Poor guy. :c It is his fault that Tirion died, but eh... mixed feelings about all of this. Why can't everyone get along? Dx

I'm scared to see the next two parts. Just post them already. Treat my heart like a bandage and tear it out at once. ;_; Conrad, come back </3




BluesClues says...


The sad thing is, I also want them to get married and adopt a bunch of little rugrats and live happily ever after...buuuut Tirion died after all because I am cruel. Okay, couple reviews to do and then the next installment will be up.




I wish literally anything else I ever said made it into the quote generator.
— CowLogic