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Masked Identities

by supernb


This world is a mystery,
With people and their masked identities.
Afraid to reveal to the world,
What lies beneath their masked face.

With a smile plastered on their face,
They show the world that they’re content.
But they themselves are aware,
Of the angst and hatred in their hearts.

Under that mask,
Lies a scarred face,
As a result of the antics,
Of this vengeful and vicious place.

A mask is what they show to the world
Whilst the real face lies hidden.
Living in a web of lies,
Afraid to expose
Who they really are.


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67 Reviews


Points: 1016
Reviews: 67

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Sun Jan 12, 2014 1:20 am
Ciblio wrote a review...



I think you did a splendid job with this!
Your work with the piece was just magnificent.
The title is what reeled me in!
I don't have anything at all to nitpick at.
I would have to say that my most favorite line was:
"But they themselves are aware,

Of the angst and hatred that is filled in their hearts.

Under that mask,

Lies a scarred face,

As a result of the antics,

Of this vengeful and vicious place."

It has so much depth, and it really caught my attention.

I'm just here to tell you that...well, this is great.
Really good job, I can't wait to read more of your work.




supernb says...


thank you so much shinethroughthedark for your review! I'm glad you liked my poem :D



Ciblio says...


You're quite welcome. :3



supernb says...


:D



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36 Reviews


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Reviews: 36

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Sat Jan 11, 2014 11:55 pm
UshertheThird wrote a review...



Hello! I really like this poem. It addresses a very interesting idea. People hiding themselves from the world is an idea that I've seen often, and this poem has a unique perspective on it. I especially like the focus on people who wear masks to conceal their pain. The descriptions used to convey the message are very good.

My only criticism is that the poem feels a bit repetitive to me. Some of the lines seem to say things that were already said earlier in the poem. For example:

Afraid to reveal to the world/What lies beneath their masked face.

A mask is what they show to the world/Whilst the real face lies hidden.

Afraid to expose/Who they really are.


These lines all basically repeat the same idea. Perhaps you could expand parts of the poem to add some new ideas.

That's all I have to point out. This is really well done. Keep writing!




supernb says...


Thanks a lot Usherthethird for your review! I will keep your points in mind and use them in my next work :) No repetition next time :)



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433 Reviews


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Sat Jan 11, 2014 10:11 pm
TakeThatYouFiend wrote a review...



This is very nice. It reminds me of a poster I once saw, a cartoon where two people put on paper masks at the start of the day with happy faces, and the wind blew of the top layer to reveal a sad mask underneath. I totally agree with what you are saying, and is my argument against being "cool". It is strange it is such an untackled issue. I can't find any problem with this poem at all. :-)
Take That You Fiend!




supernb says...


Thank you so much TakeThatYouFiend! I'm glad you liked my poem :D



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41 Reviews


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Sat Jan 11, 2014 10:04 pm
Inkpot wrote a review...



I really enjoyed this poem. I addresses some very deep, phsycological issues in a clever and interesting way. You kept my attention throughout the piece and really made me think about each line.
There are only a few little nitpicks I have with this piece, and they are just some words I feel are not needed in this poem and interrupt the pace of it.
For example:

"Of the angst and hatred that is filled in their hearts."

With this line, something like:
"Of the angst and hatred in their hearts" might work better.


Also, you use the word "face" quite a lot at the beginning of the poem, which I find wears out the effect of the word a bit. Try not to overuse it.
Overall, a very interesting and thoughtful read. Keep it up :)




supernb says...


Thanks a lot for the pointers Inkpot! I made the change in the line :) and yes i will try and not repeat words next time :) i couldn't think of anything else to use here :P




It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
— Walt Disney