The walls of my room cave in,
The sweet smell of my own blood
And the crunching sound of my bones.
Only here can I be hurt,
By my own creation;
The decision I made myself.
-
Outside the world may fall down,
But it doesn't scar this skin
Or break these bones.
It tries so hard to attack,
But alas;
Only I can truly hurt myself.
-
In here is dangerous,
Dark and cold as it topples
My own walls of mind fall inwards.
It was not any other's decision,
But my own;
My fate was decided by myself.
-
The walls of the others stand tall,
Seemingly immune to jabs and pokes
Like mine were before I noticed the faults.
They did not cause the destruction,
But prodded it along;
Yet they will blame themselves.
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140,236 Literary Works • 673,049 Reviews
Here to review as requested! (BTW: Welcome to YWS)
If my mind started caving in I wouldn't know what I do. Maybe I'll slowly go mad, speaking in tongues and hiding in the corner, petting a hamburger and calling it my precious until I finally grow hungry and eat it.
My favorite stanza is the third one. I don't know why but that one is my favorite stanza.
Good job on this and may you write many more!
~lost
Hello!
This poem literally just explained how I feel.
My favourite part was the last part:
'The walls of the others stand tall,
Seemingly immune to jabs and pokes
Like mine were before I noticed the faults.
They did not cause the destruction,
But prodded it along;
Yet they will blame themselves.'
I felt it all was written very well, but this in particular stood out for me because of what it says and your choice of words.
I thought this poem was great, it was emotional and true. The whole thing flowed really well and I enjoyed reading it.
Keep it up!
~Molly.
Hi Beth!
Following is my review.
I adored this haunting style with which you presented your poem.
I somehow connect with it, and it seems like you reflected my feelings through your words.
-----
In here is dangerous,
Dark and cold as it topples
My own walls of mind fall inwards.
It was not any other's decision,
But my own;
My fate was decided by myself.
----
This set of lines is my favourite. You are really good.
I seek forward for more of your work to amaze me.
Goodbye.
<3 Mar.S.
Awe, thank you so much! I was hoping someone would at least understand a stanza, so this is fab. Thank you:D
You're welcome, and well you deserved the appreciation.