The Pickle
Long, lopsided, oval shaped.
You are green and bumpy all over.
A sweet, sour, zingy or even salty taste.
These are the flavors of different pickles.
With a crunch I savor the salty pickle.
I pour a bit of the pickle juice in a small bowl.
I love dipping the pickle after each bite.
A delicious bite, after each crunchy bite.
I chew up and swallow the stringy tail.
I finish off with the pickle juice. Yum!
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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This is a work of art. Shakespeare walked so this could run.
When I read the line “With a crunch I savor the salty pickle.” I cried. Emotion overwhelming my weak mortal being.
I never thought pickles could make such a work of art but I was incredibly wrong and I’m glad I’m wrong.
When future generations learn about the 21st century in history class I hope they read this and fully absorb the beauty.
Good job!
This sucker punched me in the feels, yo!
This was a real, light hearted poem. This goes to be the happy poem you're supposed to laugh at. This has good intentions to be a popular poem on here.
Pros: The little, subtle humor in this. The subject brings great potential. It is nice and short.
Cons: I didn't find it that funny. The idea can be bought off a WalMart shelf. No offense. I really saw this idea multiple times. You could make it have more of a punch. It seems steam rolled. It's just flat, Im sorry
Overall, it was impressive
I give you...
5.9/10
Good job
Stay groovy
This is very deep... just kidding, it isn't.
This is a very nice poem, and I really like the first few descriptive words. I would question the "salty taste" you describe, but then again is is ages since I had a pickle, mores the pity. I find it hard to make sense out of these lines.
" I love dipping the pickle after each bite.
A delicious bite, after each crunchy bite."
The first sentence is understandable, but the second isn't a complete sentance. Sorry if this is a poetic device I am missing.
Hope this helps,
Take That You Fiend!
Heh, it's funny because I know a guy who wrote a poem about a tomato and got a D on it. I think teachers are racist against against their fruits and veggies. :c
Now, get ready, cause it's time for a Gummy review~
I don't know if it's an after-effect of looking at the kitty on your avatar, but I squee'd after I finished reading this piece. It's just so cute! The speaker sounds like he/she is a small child, and the imagery was perfect! Oh, it's just to die for!
...Ahem. This poem was masterfully done, and it made me want to eat a pickle. Then I realized I don't like eating just pickles by themselves, so I continued writing this review. The grammar is pristine, by the way. So, yeah, as always, take care, and remember, practice is key!
Hello Shalie ! I am here to review your interesting poem. This poem gave me a really good impression because i felt like eating Pickle all day long. The only thing i would suggest is putting a little bit more rhyme on it. Over all i felt your poem was delicious.
I am laughing my head off. I am here to review your highly humorous poem. I even have a favorite line!
'I chew up and swallow the stringy tail'
I saw that in the comments/review below that this was meant to be dedicated to a fruit/vegetable and you got a 100 on it. Well I say good job to your teacher for giving you an idea to write off of.
Well the review must contain negativity so I'll say I hate pickles but I like this poem :3
Keep writing and don't let anyone bring you down!
~lost
This poem put a smile on my face. It's strange, funny and unique.
I can honestly say, I have never read anything like that. You must be the first person to write about a pickle.
I love it. I like how you described the pickle.
Thank you for putting a smile on my face with your pickle poem.
~Molly Louise
So I am taking the pickle with a pinch of salt, because this is not a poem to be taken too seriously.
I have no idea how old you were when you wrote this, but there is some quite interesting use of vocabulary. XD
'I pour a bit of the pickle juice in a small bowl.'
Overall, an enjoyable read.
It cheered me up.
I wrote it this year. ._.U The assignment was to do a poem dedicated to a fruit or vegetable. I am glad you enjoyed it.
Hello Shalie, I am here to review your quite humorous poem here. So I really can't take this review to serious, but I will try to lay out some real quick things I noticed. I liked your use of words that described the pickle and how it appears and how it tastes. It kind of made me hungry inside, which I guess is a good sign. I thought it was all really well done, considering it was meant to be a humorous poem. The only thing I would suggest is that you don't use the word pickle in every line when you are describing it. It becomes kind of annoying to read it over and over again. But other than that good job and keep writing these type of poems, they bring a smile to my face!
- Hsarver
Thank you. It's a little late now but apparently the teacher liked it enough to give me a 100. However, I will keep that in mind.