Days of Gold Gone By: Ep.Eight

Days of Gold Gone By: A Serial

Authors Note: This episode introduces a new aspect. I think it should be obvious, but since this is the first one I will provide an explanation: The section italics is not Akira's point of view, and thus are written chronologically within (time going forward) and throughout episodes- ie, meaning that the next set of italics section in a future episode is proceeding in time from this set. The italics also only depict speech, each line being a new speaker.

Episode Eight: Rebirth in Solace

Session #1

'Hello June, how are you? My name is Doctor Shino, I am a long term friend of your fathers.'

'Yes I believe we have met before; at his 50th anniversary celebration, a couple of years ago.'

'Correct June, I did introduce Shino to you there, I am glad you remember.'

'Father you wouldn’t have happened to be considering this all the way back then would you?'

'June don’t worry about your father, I assure you he has only your best intentions in mind, now before we begin may I ask have you undergone any procedures as such before, physical or purely psychological?'

'No he hasn’t, when I tried to take him to be mentally assessed he stubbornly...'

'Father I can answer the questions myself thank you.'

'I forget you have matured. Forgive me.'

'Now, now, there should be a good atmosphere between father and son.'

'You are very correct Dr. Shino'.

'Now June, I’ll just start it very mildly, it should only feel a pinch, just so you can anticipate the sensation and focus of the negative physical feeling rather than the shock of it coming along. How was that?'

'Not as bad as I expected.'

'That was just a mild prick, the real will be slightly more intense, but, I assure you, perfectly safe. -- Henry, if you could just pass me that there. Thank you. Now June I need you to focus over here, you are going to control what you see briefly and where you see so you just need to say ‘next’ when you instinctively know when to change and when not to.'

'Got it.'

'Alright here we go.'

'Arrhhh!'

'Sorry, I may have been harsh for that at first but if you don’t want to see that, you need to say for the next one as quickly as possible.

-

'All done...'

'Uh.. that was horrible! I’m never doing this again.'

'June don’t be so immature. --- He did better than we expected Shino, I think most of the negative results were getting used to the task rather than his subconscious reaction.'

'Ah but you are missing something Henry, the positive results were also at a minimum, in fact there were near to none, he just systematically followed through turning it neutral, we can not be satisfied with this test alone.'

'I don’t want to do it again!'

'June you are a mature man and I can not force you, but if you really know what’s good for you and if you really want to be fixed then you will come. Failing to commence in any more procedures just proves to us indirectly negative results or you have something to hide.'

'So you are trying to threaten me into it?'

'I’m not threatening you.'

'Beguile! Coax? Whatever, fine, I suppose I can come once more. After it’s over the pain is completely gone so... I’ll bear with it.'

'For positive results and to be cured of this?'

'Yes, yes.'

'That’s good, so will you two be coming next week? Or do you want me to come to yours.'

'We can come here, Shino, I wouldn’t like to burden you moving around that heavy machine, and my wife would certainly disapprove having that in the house.'

'Ah yes... alright then. Next week.'

'Father.'

'Yes?'

'I dislike you for this.'

'In time you will thank me, son.'

~~~

A heavy air has fallen over my friends and family. I can not quite put my finger to it, but Kaho and my mother especially seem to have grown sombre over the days and weeks. The tension eventually turns into a brooding silence and I often hear my mother bringing in tears during the nights.

I still attend the English speaking classes and I have also started to re-attend some minor medical (un)training that had been postponed during the bombing period. My mother is a midwife, and her good friend is more than eager to get me started on a doctoral career before I will apparently be sent to an out of city college. So much for those plans.

I only see Hikari and June during the English classes now. Hikari is sometimes absent and when she is present her mind and face are not. She often gazes to the ceiling looking completely lost and empty. As for June, I still don’t understand why he attends the classes. He gives me alot of attention ‘help’ during the session which I tend to find more of a hindrance than anything. I have had a few opportunities to properly speak to him, usually it ends up with breakfast at his house and discussion of the war or of me asking petty questions, such as asking his very reasons for attending the classes which further lead to finding out he lived in England for the first five or six years of his life which is why he is fluent. I finally find the opportunity to touch on the tender topic of what the ‘procedure’ his father had refereed to was about. At the mention of it June becomes twitchy and uncomfortable, leaving his brandy-flavoured tea untouched.

“Sometimes on Sundays I suppose, we go to his office. It hurts but it’s harmless... I just pretend it works but ignore it.”

“When and where does it happen?” I then ask.

“Its...it’s not a big deal... it’s supposed to ‘fix’ me but it’s silly. I just have to put up with it and it will be fine. It doesn’t matter what he does, I will never stop-” he bites his sentence short, leaving the words hanging in the air.

“Stop what?” I ask.

“What what what?” he replies, biting a laugh into his lip.

“What what?” I say again

“What?” Is the final 'what' before he continues the prior of the explanation. He doesn’t want to say what it is, saying it doesn’t matter, then eventually denying it exists. I ask the initial concluding question I had to initiate the conversation then leave it. He isn’t going to say any more.

~

Around my home withered bouquets of flowers begin to appear, their petals browning. I find one such tossed out in the garden; so crippled the original colour of its petals are indistinguishable. I bring it in and place it in a jar beside the others. It may look broken and withered now, but it will soon grow to become beautiful. There are cards often attached or found lying in a dusted corner. I hunt for them and read them, their contents is always of the hardships of war or apologies for losses. It is true that the war is hard on us all, for me it particularly troubles me because of inconsistent schedules. Shops are closed at unusual times, Kaho’s school is sometimes cancelled for the day, and I don’t find out about it until afterwards which is very frustrating. The only thing I can be sure to be on time is the English lessons. Our instructor is a very determined woman, she insists it will never be cancelled. I quote her that ‘class must go on, in sunshine or rain; be that rain water or bombs’. I respect her avid passion, but in the end I find it ironic, being right under the bomb, that’s what got us all killed. Sometimes I worry about Kaho and my mother. I wonder if they survived the blast that killed me. I really hope they did; Kaho is so young, and my mother is so compassionate and helpful; in recent times she has practically been living at the hospital; in times like these even nurses and midwives become a more valuable asset. She has been present at home much more recently though, I assume it is because the rain of fire has seemed to cease for now.

Hikari has also been coming to our house often. I don’t really understand but she just comes in and sits there at our main table on on a corner chair, staring at the floor, not speaking to anyone. Some days she comes in uninvited. Kaho and my mother don’t seem to mind, and often serve her tea or onigiri if its near lunch; even I take the opportunity to offer her something if I see her quivering patiently with a full cup or plate in her hand. Most days she says a few words to the people who speak to her, or even sings softly to herself, her sweet voice haunting the entire home; but sometimes she doesn’t say anything and instead sits in silence, seeping the water from the floor into her eyes.

I know that someone close to us has gone from this world. The signs of the others mourning is more than enough evidence. I often find myself subjected to accusing stares or glares of disbelief to not share the despair the others do. I don’t know if I should feel bad, if what I feel is immoral, but I can’t help but feel the push of anticipation; excitement.

Someone is going to be born.