I remember... I don't remember

by Shalie

Published October 30, 2013

E - Everyone

In My Poems

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I remember…


I remember visiting you on hot summer days.

I remember you feeding me those delicious sundaes.

I remember you being so kind and wonderful.

I remember the love you shared was always so plentiful.

I remember those moments you would stick up for me.

I remember thinking how this was meant to be.

I remember all these things from the bottom of my heart.

I remember when things started to drift apart.

I remember when you started to change.

I remember when you acted strange.

I remember that fateful night.

I remember it gave me a fright.

I remember the things you said.

I remember it is all in your head.

I remember, grandma, when dementia took your mind,
it feels like these memories are only mine.

I don’t remember…

I don’t remember the first words I said.

I don’t remember climbing out of my bed.

I don’t remember the first steps I took.

I don’t remember you first reading my book.

I don’t remember the curly hair on top of my head.

I don’t remember when those curls stopped dead.

I don’t remember my first cake.

I don’t remember the first time we baked.

I don’t remember the first time I gave you a scare.

I don’t remember a time you never care.

I don’t remember the things I never understood.

I don’t remember my toddlerhood.

I don’t remember these stories.

However mother, I am grateful you can share our memories.

Comments & reviews · 5
User avatar
Rurouni
Review
Rurouni wrote a review Review · Dec 5, 2013

Hm..


We all miss people and things, and it's obvious this is about your(?) mother and grandma...




I feels first of all, family is everything.

Anyways...

Maybe you should make it clear you switched from your grandma to your mom.
That way us, the reader, is not confused.
Other then that, I can't seem to see anything grammar/spelling wise.

Good work!



Thanks,

SW

IntelligentlyStupid wrote a review Review · Nov 1, 2013

This poem is actually making me feel. i miss so many family members that i had friends with, and i was really able to connect with this. I know that feeling where you don't remember some of the important times, but you know they happened, and you wish that you could relive them. after reading this, i kind of wanted to cry little, and go hug people in my family... and i don't even like my family. Thanks for this, friend, i'm glad you decided to share it.
You did an exceptional job with the rhyming, and i feel that you kept the same style, which feels rather unique, through the whole thing. think of me as sitting here snapping my fingers for you :)

Shalie replied · Nov 1, 2013

I glad you enjoyed reading this poem. :) This poem made me appreciate my family, because you never know when they will be taken away from you.

EscapeToNeverland wrote a review Review · Oct 31, 2013

WOW! This a very sad heartfelt poem, I really enjoyed it.
I can tell that this was a poem that it really close to your heart. And really it finds a place in mine.

'I remember, grandma, when dementia took your mind,
it feels like these memories are only mine.' At this point I thought that this poem was about your Grandma. But then it's a bout your mum.

I felt as if I could relate, I mean my grandmother doesnt have dementia but still. We dont always remember these things but our mothers always will. Thats one of the reasons they are so dear. Becasue they will always remember the things we cant.

So really thank you. Thank you for making a poem for one of the people we all hold dear.

Shalie replied · Nov 1, 2013

Sorry, as I said before I should made things more clear. The first half is to my Grandma and the second half is to my mom.

No. Thats a good thing. It's a part I liked. Really, dont change it.

Shalie replied · Nov 1, 2013

Thanks. :)

User avatar
DreamWork
Review
DreamWork wrote a review Review · Oct 31, 2013

Hi Shalie, I am so greatly affected with this poem. The theme looks simple but still able to attract the attention of the reader. Repetitions on each line, reinforces the tone of reading and supports the concept of someone who is trying remember a past memories.
As I said, your poem seem heartfelt and touching. Especially when your grandmother suffering from dementia.

I remember, grandma, when dementia took your mind,
it feels like these memories are only mine.

Poem that I received as-is and I respect all the things you have said here. Well done, keep it up!
Kudos, cheers. :D

Shalie replied · Oct 31, 2013

Thank you so much.

Queenprincess2001 wrote a review Review · Oct 31, 2013

this was a beautiful poem. but the person you were referring to was a little unclear. in the second to last line in the I remember part said your grandmother, and in the last line of the entire poem, the speaker was referring to her mother. but your conventions were perfect, as was your voice, ideas, organization, and I absolutely just loved your rhyme. it must have taken quit a while to think of all those rhymes! keep up the goodwork.
- the Queen

Shalie replied · Oct 31, 2013

Thank you. And, I'm sorry I should been more clear. It's two poems in one the first is dedicated to my grandma and the bottom is dedicated to my mother.



You wanna be a writer? You don't know how or when? Find a quiet place, use a humble pen.
— Paul Simon