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We Will Fight! (First song)

by DragonNextec


We Will Fight!

I'm here and alone so hear me as i Fight

we are here for the right reasons to fight

we want another reason to Hold off the War

We want the real reason to Fight

We are here now so come and Hold we are what we are made of so fight with us We will never die alone

If this world was at peace this world would make a Dream so don't fight we will fight we will fight we will die

If this world was at peace this would would make the Dream to fight we will fight we wont fight we will die!

OH! War is here and this is the end, war is what we are made of what we are Afraid of

The people will choise to fight for our life Never will We die ALONE!

Now if this world was at peace this world would make a dream so don't fight don't fight we must die

Now All there is left is the easy way home everyone is dieing for the reason to Start AGAIN!

If the end is here, then hold me from my own and never let go, So im not alone

If this world was at peace this world would make a dream So we fight for the people!


One of My first Songs i put up on here reviews wanted.


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32 Reviews


Points: 776
Reviews: 32

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Thu May 17, 2018 4:06 am



Seems like it could be a good song if put to music.

I always like the topic of fighting and war, and songs about it are my favorite.
This was fun to read, and enjoyable to imagine as a real song.

There are some things I would fix, though.
Your random capitalization is killing me. Is it artistic effect or just bad English?
If its artistic, i totally understand. If its bad English, you need to fix it just so its easier for me to read.
Like this-"The people will choise to fight for our life Never will We die"
and this- "we want another reason to Hold off the War"
and this. -"So im not alone"
All of these examples need to be fixed, and I believe you can do that yourself if you just revised it. Editing is key.

I also would like a description of what the music sounds like. Is it calm? Pumping? Are there guitars? Drums? How does it make me feel and how does it relate to the lyrics?

Great song, just needs editing.




User avatar
32 Reviews


Points: 776
Reviews: 32

Donate
Thu May 17, 2018 4:03 am
GodfreysBouillon wrote a review...



Seems like it could be a good song if put to music.

I always like the topic of fighting and war, and songs about it are my favorite.
This was fun to read, and enjoyable to imagine as a real song.

There are some things I would fix, though.
Your random capitalization is killing me. Is it artistic effect or just bad English?
If its artistic, i totally understand. If its bad English, you need to fix it just so its easier for me to read.
Like this-"The people will choise to fight for our life Never will We die"
and this- "we want another reason to Hold off the War"
and this. -"So im not alone"
All of these examples need to be fixed, and I believe you can do that yourself if you just revised it. Editing is key.

I also would like a description of what the music sounds like. Is it calm? Pumping? Are there guitars? Drums? How does it make me feel and how does it relate to the lyrics?

Great song, just needs editing.




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109 Reviews


Points: 7831
Reviews: 109

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Tue Oct 01, 2013 6:31 pm
ajruby12 wrote a review...



Hey! ajruby12 here!

1st off.. PUNCTUATION! It'll save you a lot of trouble with people who have trouble following the rhythm. Also, the lines are hard to follow. Is it supposed to be like that or was that the "format gremlin"?
Another thing is the wording wasn't clear. I realize it's not supposed to be an epic Shakespearian poem but clarity would really help, especially for not being able to hear music to go along with it.
So there's my opinions/suggestions. Keep writing! :)

- Lady Ariana, The Silver Knight




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15 Reviews


Points: 420
Reviews: 15

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Tue Oct 01, 2013 8:22 am
babygiggles says...



Hey there DragonNextec,

Well for a first time song writer and cause i have no real experience on song writing i just say what i liked and hated about it ok well

Good things:

*very emotional
*got a good theme
*could pcture a band like my chemical romance singing this

Bad things:
*hate wars
*bit too long for a song
*not a head banger

But i do like how you gave it a try and don't give up like i said i'm not an expert in this catogory so yea just see what other people say about it that are experts at this like isaid before.




User avatar
15 Reviews


Points: 420
Reviews: 15

Donate
Tue Oct 01, 2013 8:21 am
babygiggles wrote a review...



Hey there DragonNextec,

Well for a first time song writer and cause i have no real experience on song writing i just say what i liked and hated about it ok well

Good things:

*very emotional
*got a good theme
*could pcture a band like my chemical romance singing this

Bad things:
*hate wars
*bit too long for a song
*not a head banger

But i do like how you gave it a try and don't give up like i said i'm not an expert in this catogory so yea just see what other people say about it that are experts at this like isaid before.





"People should not be afraid of their government. Governments should be afraid of their people."
— V for Vendetta