The Head.

by Gravity

Published September 16, 2013

16+

In Gore Short Stories

Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

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The halls are always extremely crowded between periods in high school. People are talking on cell phones, going to their lockers and using the little time they had to make out with their "significant other". I am doing a combination of all of these things. I am holding hands with my boyfriend, checking my phone, and heading to my locker.

My boyfriend's name is Jacques. Even though he's gay, he hates his pretentious name. So everyone calls him Jack. We are similar in that way. My mother is french, and named me Jonaten. I just go by John. We make the most fabulous couple. He has his sandy blonde hair and his piercing blue eyes. I have brown hair and green eyes. We look nothing alike, although all our friends say we look adorbs together. I couldn't agree more.

Once I get to my locker, I kiss Jack on the cheek. Then I look around to make sure I won't hit anyone with my locker door. The walls of the hallway that we are in are white with various assignments hanging on the walls. The floor is made of tile that is white and green. Our lockers are blue. There is a trash can at both ends of every hall and Jack and I are at the very end.

We have lockers right next to each other. I open mine first, and examine myself in the mirror. After I quickly check my face for zits, I decide that I like what I see. I'm not full of myself, I just like to make sure I don't have anything too hideous or weird on my face. I turn to Jack and see that he is still struggling with his lock. His locker is so annoying, I'm the only one who can ever get it open. So I turn the dial, but I don't open the locker for him. Call me paranoid, but I don't want Jack to think that me opening his locker door is too invasive. He tugs the door open. A disgusting stench wafts out.

"Babe, did you leave your lunch box in your locker again?" I ask. Jack is covering his hand with his mouth and he is turning green. He looks like he is going to vomit. I help him over to a trash can before I look inside the locker.

Inside, is a human head speared on the hook. The skin around the neck is ripped and is dripping blood and flesh. The expression on the face is terrified, and the eyes are gouged out. The eyes are filled with... jellybeans? I don't want to, but I force myself to focus on the brightly colored ovals in the eye sockets. They really are jellybeans, but I am sure that nobody wants to eat them now. All of the hair on the human head has been ripped out, and you can see blood where the skin tore off. There's a note inside of the door that says "You're next." I think it's the head of a man, but I don't want to spend any more time trying to figure it out.

I don't blame Jack for throwing up. The site of the head makes me slam the locker shut and run to the trash can and empty the contents of my stomach. After I finish, I wipe my mouth and look up. The hallway is mostly clear. The students that are left are grimacing at us as they walk away. Jack has also finished, and he is sitting against the wall.

He looks at me and says "Did you do this? Is this some kind of sick joke? You're the only one who has my combination." My brow furrows, and I almost want to cry. After everything we've been through, coming out to our parents and our friends, how could he think I would do something like this? I wasn't angry at him though. I was after all, the only person who knew his combination.

Jack is crying, and tears are running down my face as well. I wrap my arms around him, and we just cry for a little while.

"Do you know who that was?" He asks me. I shake my head. "That was my next door neighbor. I'm not positive but-" A fresh wave of tears comes rolling down his cheeks.

I help him up and we go to the administrators office to tell them what we found. The principal calls the police, and our parents, and we all go to Jack's locker. They also have trouble with his lock. Once again, I turn the dial and leave the locker for Jack to open. But before he can open it, one of the policemen beats him to it. Part of me wants to punch him. The other part of me is thankful that Jack won't have to see the head again.

The only problem is, the head has vanished. Jack's books and supplies are gone as well. The only evidence that anything was ever there, is grime from the thing's neck at the bottom of the locker, and a note that says...

"You're next, you're next. The rest of you too. You can't see me, but I can see you. "

To Be Continued

Comments & reviews · 6
User avatar
RyiaGreene
Review
RyiaGreene wrote a review Review · Sep 20, 2013

Hello :)

I really like this story. I'm a bit of a gore fan so this was awesome to read. I really like the descriptions you used when you were describing the head in the locker. However, I do have to agree with dragonofphoenix about the sentence "We look nothing alike, although all our friends say we look adorbs together." It jerked me out of the moment. Other than that I really enjoyed reading this and am looking forward to the second half.

Also-- jellybeans??? O.o makes me think twice before wanting some now LOL!

Um yeah. The jellybeans were a random idea. It's supposed to distract the reader from the gore a little bit and make you chuckle at the randomness of the situation. "A gay couple finds a head in the locker, the eyes of the head are replaced with...jellybeans. Ummm..." That was the idea behind THAT. lol. Again, I regret my use of words, and part 2 is already out. So get reading! :)

Now I'm wanting jelly beans :p darn you!

dragonfphoenix wrote a review Review · Sep 19, 2013

Hello, Knight Dragon here to review (you said not to peek before this was read). Well, here we go.
This is the only sentence that I really don't like, technically speaking. "We look nothing alike, although all our friends say we look adorbs together." I get what you mean by "adorbs", but it totally jerked me out of the narrative for a moment.
And I am slightly concerned that you are going to try to draw from the LGBT cultural issues to draw sympathy for what would realistically be a very sad "couple". Also, your topic hints at darker days ahead perhaps. Or, we, the readers, shall be stuck with this irresolvable tension between two conflicting issues, the plot itself, and the LGBT conflict. So just words of warning in that arena.

Hope this helps!

I really have no idea what you were trying to say, sorry. Your comment was just phrased in a way that's difficult for me to understand. You said that "And I am slightly concerned that you are going to try to draw from the LGBT cultural issues to draw sympathy for what would realistically be a very sad "couple". A sad couple as in depressing or sad as in pathetic? Honestly, I chose to use a gay couple because it just came to me. I wanted to make the story bizarre with things that were unexpected. I understand that I shouldn't have used the word "adorbs", I mentioned that in a reply to a different review. When I write, I plan as I go. The intention was not to gain sympathy for John and Jack because they are gay. My intention was to spice things up a little bit and make it different.

Ah, sorry. Well, basically I was saying that I felt that if you try to write something sympathetic towards the gay audience, then those issues and that focus would clash with the true intent of this story, that of a horror story. The reason I brought this up is that the moment the killer threatened Jack, I thought "Anti-homo motivation". So I was just concerned that such a narrative would tear itself apart with two competing main themes.

Spoiler
And since you killed off Jack, the couple comment is no longer relevant.

User avatar
janecontraire
Comment
janecontraire commented Comment · Sep 17, 2013

Oh my gosh, I love this so much. You are amazing. So amazing. It's perfect, I love the gore and the notes, it's by far the most enticing short story I've ever read. I didn't know it was possible to become gripped so quickly in a highschool-setting story. Beautifully thought out, with the jelly beans and the rhyming note, I'm excited to find out more about the killer who sounds like a supernatural, satanic man... possibly insane or above humans?

However it ends up, I'm sure I'll love it- the beginning already has me hooked.

Thank you so much! It means a lot.

Oh, Janecontraire, I posted "The Head, part 2" If you want to read it

User avatar
Kevikur
Review
Kevikur wrote a review Review · Sep 17, 2013

This has everything I ever need in a story: gore, horror, and a romantic gay couple. And it was amazing to log in and find out that you wrote it for me! Thank you so much. That's so totally awesome of you.

I loved everything about it, from the descriptions to the decapiated head to the creepy note.

And, might I add, the jelly beans were a nice touch.

I couldn't help but smile when you went into detail about the horror of finding that head. It's horrible and awful, but it works because I'm a horrible and awful person. Very morbid. You had me gripped all the way, enticing me and drawing me in. I was elated to see those three words at the end: To Be Continued. I am ready to gobble up more gore!

I'm rooting for you, my friend!

I'm glad you loved it. I had hoped you would :)

User avatar
PeaceLuvPoems
Review
PeaceLuvPoems wrote a review Review · Sep 17, 2013

This. Was. Amazing.

i really loved this story. And i skipped right over the gore since I was having as I was reading this. Just kidding. I read through all of it and then I almost emptied my stomach, too. Great description! This really had me on the edge of seat! I can't what for you to come out with the next part.

One thing, though I think you could have somehow incorporated the main characters name in there. Also, I didn't quite understand why Jack immediately turned to his boyfriend and accused. Sure, he knows his combination, but if he loved him, and jack knew him well enough, I don't think he would have done that.

"My boyfriend's name is Jacques. Even though he's gay, he hates his pretentious name. So everyone calls him Jack. We are similar in that way. My mother is french, and named me Jonaten. I just go by John. We make the most fabulous couple. He has his sandy blonde hair and his piercing blue eyes. I have brown hair and green eyes. We look nothing alike, although all our friends say we look adorbs together. I couldn't agree more."

I did include the name, I quoted it above. And I see where you got your theory about Jack. I'm glad you like the story.

Oh I'm sorry! I do that a lot.., skip over things... SORRY.

User avatar
Blackwood
Review
Blackwood wrote a review Review · Sep 16, 2013

You know what goes well with romance?
Blood
Gore
And creepiness.

I love it.

Hmm I'm trying to find something to review but its hard because you have done everything right. I think that maybe this part

I turn the dial and leave the locker for Jack to open. But before he can open it, one of the policemen beats him to it. Part of me wants to punch him. The other part of me is thankful that Jack won't have to see the head again.

Why would he want Jack to open it again? And I think punching the policeman idea is a bit off. I don't see the reason behind his thoughts in this section.

also maybe but the shortened slang word such as adorbs in single quotes or italics adorbs 'adorbs'
Don't have to but just a suggestion. It also makes him sound very girly, which may be your perception of his character, but just because someone likes guys doesn't mean he is girly, and it might be nice to avoid this character stereotype.

I totally see your point. I was actually unsure about going into detail about the paragraph or not. I'm glad you love the story. So basically, it's habit for John to turn the dial and then wait for Jack to unlock it. Then when the police officer does it instead, he wants to punch him. I did this mainly because in the beginning...
"Call me paranoid, but I don't want Jack to think that me opening his locker door is too invasive." This is basically just John being possessive over Jack. He is annoyed at the officer mainly because His gut instinct is that opening the locker is too invasive. The locker is basically a symbol for the invasion of privacy.
I was also unsure about 'adorbs'. I was NOT being stereotypical, I even mentioned in the story that John wasn't a feminine gay. I added it just because I'm trying to convey what the reader is expecting as a stereotype. This is only my second short story, so I'm still testing the ropes.
Thank you for the review. Also, if you want to read my other story, "The Mob Boss", that would be great. It isn't as good, but it's...original. Your comments really helped :)



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