Young Writers Society

Guess who's here?

Guess who's gonna a the review for you?

Yeah, it's me.

The one and only haha

Okay so HEY SLUSHY *screams with a high pitch voice*

Umaima here to give you a wonderful review which even if you don't like you won't be able to avoid! (I know this is 18 plus so assume me as a 19 year old for today )

So starting with the review,

Okay so due to the lack of time I am going to divide my review into three sections:
Positives, Negatives and then the overall view of the poem.

Positives:

Let's begin with the title, frankly speaking I thought that there couldn't be any better title than the one you have given to your piece! The title showed the correct understanding of the poem. Though when I read it I didn't think it was literally about a mirror (You can expect anything from a poem)

Your punctuation, grammar and formatting was absolutely perfect and even if there were a few mistakes (which I couldn't really pin pint) they weren't that big of a deal!

Negatives:

The plot, now the plot wasn't something very different from what we read usually (I have this one poem about the mirror in my literature reader too though it's a little different than this and I can guarantee this poem is much better than that, they still have a similarity!) (I am not really a good critique and this is the only thing I thought was a negative for your piece)

Conclusion:

This was overall a very nice poem. I enjoyed reading it and now I will become your portfolio stalker after my exams and read the other poems too (If any) And guess what? You can't get rid of me

Oh and I have to mention this, my favorite lines were:

:The mirror is shattered, she is completely broken,

she can no longer look back at me.

And I smile, basking in my triumph,

knuckles running a trail of crimson behind me, only to find,

She has somehow managed to hide in my mind.

Repeating, echoing, and twisting the same

thing over and over again.:

Yeah I could have just said, I loved the last para the most but where's the fun in that? (Plus it's review day )

Happy review day!

Once again, Umaima!

Knight Dragon, here to review on this wonderful Review Day!

Technical:
"The one telling me she is about to scream,", delete the comma at the end of this line. You're separating thoughts that shouldn't be separated.

"My head swells with fury, my hands clench for her throat," grammatically the first comma shouldn't be one, but for this poem I think it's fine. However, with the second, you should change that to a period. It helps with the reading flow.

"The mirror is shattered, she is completely broken," this has the same issue as the previous one, but I don't like the first comma in this line. It feels too separate a thought to blend together with a comma. Delete both commas and make them periods.

Content:
Wow. I liked how you kept repeating "thing over and over again." at the end of every stanza. That worked really well. And I especially liked how you presented the conclusion of the climax (or rather the extension of it) in the last stanza. That was really well done. Good job, and keep it up!

Hope this helps!

PS-If you ever want to talk, I'm always available.

Hey, HT here to review!

Let me say that this feels real. It doesn't feel like the narrator isn't just saying this stuff to say it. You can tell that she really means what she is saying, and the sad thing is that I feel that many people can relate to this.

Now, there are a few things that I would like to mention.

How fuckingy I turned out to be.

She has somehow managed to hide in my mind.

This was well done. I have to say that the you are disgusting could refer to so many things in life, could even be replaced by others words such as loser, or weak, or lots of other things. It is so true that you can never escape your conscience.

hi, lyricalrebel here to make a review of your work entitled Mirror to Mind.
At first I got confused with the title because I am the kind of person who wants the title to attract my attention and curiostity instantly but when I read your work to the last lines, I understood what it meant.
One word. Insecurity. That's what I think is conveyed in this piece. It shows the reality of the problems that a lot of teens deal with everyday of their lives. A lot of us thinks we're not cut out for things and I admit that I am one of them. I look in the mirror and all I see is an ugly girl. I love the flow of the poem especially the emotions. It's sort of morbid but it's beautiful. I like your poem. Keep up the good work!