z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

World peace

by Blackwater


Imagine a world where we celebrate each others differences, a world where different is good. For some its an utopian idea but it is unacceptable to others. A world where we all reach a permanent state of rationality. An idealistic world. An utopian world. But one never reaches perfection, we can work towards the idealistic world and might end up creating another world altogether. The very idea of peace brings a smile to people's faces. Every deed a human does, every action of his, has an ulterior motive: peace. But humans are also selfish. They work towards self peace and are ready to do absolutely anything to attain it. If only we were to step out of these self created boundaries, and aim at peace at a whole different level, a global level, life could get so much more promising.

To every reform, there is only one solution: change, the universal constant. But I agree it can get uncomfortable. Change is never easy. For the sake of ease and comfort, we choose not to change and continue living on the edge. Only when we face discomfort, do we come to an end; an end of misogyny. In today's world, everyone claims to be modern, but are we really? Do modern people support gender bias? Do modern people fight on the basis of God? Are modern people stuck in time. These characteristics of the so-called "modern people", in reality does not seem so modern afterall. Time has led to a hypocritical era. The end of this era will mark the beginning of the march towards that idealistic world, which seems impossible today. Majority of the people belonging to the present generation have a broad mindset. But we as a generation are stuck in between two eras. We need to adopt a truly apt mindset. Moving on with time is something natural. Then why let these unnatural happenings continue? We need to put action to our thoughts and give shape to that mindset. Each one should set a milestone for the other.

Our comfort, however harmless it may seem, is a lethal weapon to crush peace altogether. If one never leaves their comfort zone, each one will form their own groups and sit safe inside and would never dare to come out. That is not the idea of world peace, so the whole idea of this is to leave the nest, for its too late. For good or for worse, we need to keep our vows to the creator and work towards the betterment of his utterly amazing creation, our home. Man is often labelled the social animal, which is by-far true but here comes in the hypocrisy. Man socializes with people he is familiar with, but claims to be oh-so open, inviting and accepting. But really, are we? We need to rationally accept people from all walks of life. Be the difference based on colour, creed, religion or money, we all are humans. These differences are just labels created by us. When the milk in the fridge gets old, we need to replace it. Throw away the old milk, buy a new carton. The same way, its time to peel off that labels and put aside those differences.

Religion is just man's way to feel closer to God. Should such a noble thing be the basis of a feud? Should it be the basis of a war? Every difference can put aside, not forgotten. But we can live with them in the day, but at the end of the day, we all return home as humans. Differences make us Christian, Jew, Muslim or Hindu. They don't make us aliens to each other. At the end of the day, we still have two feet and two hands. We dont grow webbed feet by the end of the day. Then why do we act as if others belong to an alien world? No one is forcing us to accept all the ideas and change. All what needs to be done is accept each other on the basis of humanity and not on the basis of difference.

We are still young. But its time to fly out of our nests and live life as a citizen of the world. In India, people are practicing to put their country before their region but little do we know that we have a long way to go. We need to identify ourselves as citizens and residents of the world first, and then comes country. But this change will not happen in a day or two. This is evolution. It is going to take a long time. Probably, you and me will not get the joy of spectating such a world. But we can live with a hope that our home will one day reach the finish line whose whereabouts are unknown. Every human's mission is to work towards that finish line and never come to it.


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Sun Aug 11, 2013 6:59 pm
rishabh wrote a review...



hey buddy!

your work is too good. your thoughts are simple but very effective. through your writing, it seem that your thought process is quite good. your idea on world peace is great, very well written. there are few grammatical mistakes but nothing major. so chill. your starting was great. your hindu, muslim, jew.........that concept was mind blowing. It shows your positive understanding towards world. it also shows that you are very creative person. your writing has impressed me. i like to read some more good essays from you pal!

keep writing! good job!




Blackwater says...


Thanks! It's great to meet like minded people like you!



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Sun Aug 11, 2013 4:11 pm
ArcticMonkey wrote a review...



Hiya Blackwater!

Right so this was a thoroughly interesting piece to read. I think within this essay some very interesting and thought-provoking points have been raised about world peace. It's a topic which is talked about quite a bit, but this piece definitely comes off as original and unique- I like how you've sort of outlined the problems to reaching world peace and why they are like that- good job!

My first critique is about the language used. I think that the way you've written this is sophisticated yet easy to get your ideas across HOWEVER there were quite a few 'but's', especially at the starts of sentences. There are loads of other words you could use instead than 'but' to really link your points together. This here is something I found which has a list of other words you could use to start off your sentences. Obviously don't go changing all of the beginnings but you could use some if you wanted to vary it a bit :).

Another thing is the layout and the way you've organised it. I think generally it's okay, but the paragraphs are quite long and I think maybe you could cut a couple into two, if possible. Obviously you can't just start a new paragraph when you feel like it, but if you change from a for argument to and against argument within the same paragraph then that could do with starting a new one. Because after all, the content is really good but sometimes these kinds of things can be off-putting to some readers.

Generally, when you started a new paragraph the new topic was introduced really well, however there was just one case where I thought it seemed a bit odd. With the paragraph about religion, it seemed a bit random how it started off, so maybe you could introduce the topic more rather than jumping straight into it.

Differences make us Christian, Jew, Muslim or Hindu.

Here I think it's important to make it clear that there are more religions than just these four.

Lastly, this isn't really a critique but more something that I didn't really agree with entirely. Personally, I think it's more than just a 'comfort' thing as to why world peace isn't happening and it's more the effort that people need to put it. Although I do kinda see where you're coming from with this.

Overall, I really enjoyed reading this and it has definitely left me thinking. My suggestions are above so I'll try not to repeat myself. With my last point about me not agreeing with you, I think that's actually a really good thing because you've written a really engaging essay here, something that may spark up a debate. Anyways, I hope this review helped. PM me if you have any questions or would like another review on anything.

Keep writing!
~ArcticMonkey x




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Sun Aug 11, 2013 3:16 pm
Empress wrote a review...



Hi there!

Wow, this was really interesting and thought-provoking.

I just have a few grammatical points.

Firstly, this: "For some its an utopian idea but it is unacceptable to others", should be: "For some, it's a utopian idea, but it is unacceptable to others."

And here: "Every deed a human does, every action of his" should really be, "every action of theirs" or just "every action" to remain politically correct :)

The first paragraph overall, works really well, and stylistically, is very nice. Good job :)

Make sure to put a question mark on the end of "Are modern people stuck in time." I really love the second paragraph, especially the march towards the idealistic world.

This: "Majority of the people belonging to the present generation have a broad mindset" should start with "the".

I love the idea of comfort as a lethal weapon. And the metaphor of the milk is lovely and works nicely in its position.

This: "every difference can put aside, not forgotten" should be: "every difference can be put aside".
I think the repetition of "day" sounds a bit odd.

Your point about religion is structured really nicely. And I agree we need to identify ourselves as a citizen of the world first before our country. I think the last line could also work nicely in its own paragraph though.

Overall, this article is very well written and you express yourself eloquently and skilfully.

However, I think differences are still very important as they are what make us human, they cannot be and will never be simply put to the side. And a world without differences would be a truly frightening place, like that depicted by TS Eliot in his poem "Preludes".

Great job, keep writing!

Bethan :)





Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.
— Albus Dumbledore