Hmmmm okay Scatty cat woke up and he was in the Hospital and there was, Dactor Lu-danger!! it was truly a battle to be had. Said Dr. lu-danger, "Haha my plan worked youll never get out alive but scattycat was good at escaping". So he jumped in to the air to run away but Lu grabbed him with his robot graspers and scarry Cat said you touch me innapropritly but (doctor didn't care because he had his robot hands all over the pussy cat.) There was not escaping to be had by Scatty cat! Then, then there was Northwash who came in. Yaaayyyy! for Northwash. He said let my friend go or els ill get you but then a robot claw came out and put him on the florr. Northwast ("who's actually name was Agustus he just didnt want anybody to know"). said, you touch me innapropritely but scatty cat was like Been there done that. So they both scremed and were goin to be destroyed, and Doctor laughed and he said Finally my revenge you thought you could defat me no. But then there was the Lu-danger's 1 weakness! benedict cumberbach was there. Nooooo! He slowly melted and said too handsome and died he still didn't have family but benedict cubberbatch said peace to you brother and kissed him and he did have family benedict was his brother. So then Scatty Cat sain, "moral of the story is never go into town." Than northwash said "I thought moral was not to do strippers and pills"
oh, northwash!
spelling of doctor is wrong. it is D-O-C-T-O-R NOT DACTOR. spelling of inappropriately is wrong. it is a-p-p-r-o-p-r-i-a-t-e-l-y not innapropritly. this is very badly constructed story. work hard on ur vocab section and spells. for me it is 0 out of 100 stuff.
work hard n write some good stuff which is readable. not (throwable)
sorry for the harsh review.
I like the way this story went. You've got a lot of original ideas and you did a fantastic job at making the story flow together. I encourage you to continue in your writing and expand on more stories. I would love to read another piece from you.
As always, good luck to you and your writing, and keep up the good work!
Hey! Iggy here to review.
So I haven't read any of the other chapters if Scatty Cat's adventures, but that doesn't matter. I'm mainly here to review and help you fix your grammar mistakes.
1. Length. This is way too small to be considered a chapter, or even a short story. Many things that can lengthen a chapter: dialouge, descriptive actions (also known as imagery), what the main character is thinking/planning, what's going on, a brief history on something, etc. I highly suggest you pay close attention to length next time you submit a work.
2. Spelling. Be sure to capitalize proper nouns, such as names, like "Benedict Cubberbach" and "Dr. Lu-Danger". Some words, like "Innapropritly" are misspelled. I suggest using a dictionary whenever in doubt of how a word is spelt.
3. Punctuation. Especially conjuncted words, pay close attention to those, such as "I'll" and "you'll".
4. Dialouge. You must space dialouge out. If you don't know what that is, dialouge is, in basic tersm, a conversation between people. If person A is talking to person B, then that must be spaced out. Example:
Person A: "What's your favorite color?"
Person B: "Red! What's yours?"
5. The story went by way too fast. You need to draw things out, to leave the reader in suspense, to entice and seduce them into reading the next chapter. To keep them so enthralled that they simply cannot put the story down and walk away; no, they have to devour it in one sitting. Use things as I stated above in #1 , such as dialouge and imagery, to draw it out. Help put the reader in the main characters shoes.
I hope that I helped you and you will take these into consideration when making a new story. Cheers!
~ Iggy.
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