Young Writers Society

This is actually a very clever idea, and I applaud you on it. However, there were a few problem spots. For example, only a select few verses/stanzas had rhyming, and there wasn't much reasoning as to which stanza had it and which did not. If you played with the words a bit more your could probably make each stanza have a consistant pattern.

Also, when you say, "I can't hold much of your burden but I do hold what I can" it's unclear as to which item you are referring to, the kettle or the spoon? Visually it appears as if it would be the spoon, but audibley you wouldn't be able to differentiate, especially because you also say, "I'm a spoon, I'm just a spoon" just as you did when opening for the kettle. Is this making sense?

It's a very good draft, and with a little polishing and a little mending to the rough edges they could be a very intriguing, very creative lyrics. I love the personification of the appliances, and the original thought of someone creating a song about kettles and spoon made me smile.

Love,
FictionFanatic

Hey, I love this idea of a kettle and spoon personifying people. My favorite part is the last two stanzas especially this: "a bent and battered kettle
that the spoon could never mend"

The rhymings pretty good in most of the verses/stanzas the one that I think could be looked at again is the secound one :
"As the steam escapes
I know I won't be happy here for long
soon more water fills me
steam creating pressure
and I swear I'm dying"

I mean 'for' and 'pressure' can rhyme and 'creating' and 'dying' and even 'steam' can rhyme but I think the words need to be switched around a little maybe but you got the right idea. And if you ever need help with rhyme ideas rhyme dictionarys from the internet are great!

A see what you're saying with the 'grammar and capitalization don't matter' because it's a song and all, but I think it helps the reviewers a little if there are commas in, or if it's at least consistent with capitalization style, but ultimately your descision.

All together, the feeling/emotion in this song is very deep, I can feel the pressure building up, almost like time is running out. And you have some very creative ideas, so I applaud you for that. I think changing some things around in the secound stanza would finnish and polish this song off. Great job, and I look forward to reading more of your work. Thank you for posting!!

~alli-alli-oxen-free~alliyah~

This is a cute poem. It seems that the kitchen lives quite a troubled life. With a few tweaks you could make this really impacting.

1. Check your capital letters. Add commas and full-stops in.

2. Probably the most significant thing here is that your poem seems to work in four line stanzas except you have randomly put in some five line stanzas. You need to turn these into four lines which seems quite simple. For example this is how I would do it.

(This one is easy, just move the last line up)
"I can't hold much of your burden
but I do hold what I can
I'm a spoon, I'm just a spoon
who wants to hold all the water inside you"

(This one is more difficult, you may have to omit a line or a few words like so)
"As the steam escapes,I know
I won't be happy here for long
soon more water fills me
steam creating pressure like I'm dying"

3. Finally one last thing you could work on is rhyming. When I read the first stanza it seemed like a rhymed poem yet you suddenly go off rhyming in the other stanzas then go back onto it. There are a couple of suggestions I have about this.
(a) You could make every stanza rhyme on lines 2 and 4.
(b) Make this a non rhyming poem which means that rhymes are OK but really blatant rhymes such as 'release' and 'peace' stand out like a sore thumb. You could have no-so much rhyming words or you could rearrange the line so that the rhyming word isn't at the end of the line.

Your language and use of words are very nice. There are a few sentences which could do with a few extra prepositions or small words or perhaps be re-arranged but other than that very nice. I like it quite a lot.