Young Writers Society

I read this out loud in the voice and the way I thought it should be read, which just made the poem even more amazing. The spaces and lines that you used to separate sentences from each other and especially making certain words bigger then the other words made it a whole lot better. I don't have much to say because the reviewers below me have already said it and what good does it do to repeat them? I do wish that it ended a little bit better, just because the poem itself seemed as though it went to the climax in your story and then it just ended, not really much of a trail downward, if that makes sense. But other then that, I really enjoyed reading this humorous poem of irony

You will quite surely raise to fame, for you have unlocked the secret of success in the poetic world: and that is telling everyone how brilliant you are. It worked for Carol Anne Duffy, I don't see why it shouldn't work for you.
What I particularly like about this poem is the formatting. Usually I loathe fancy formatting, however here where you have put it just about seems to rhythmically fit. Particularly in the points of pondering, with the ellipses, there your formatting is particularly impressive.
However I think you require some sort of Coda on the end. This should just about rap up the poem, as it is you seem to have left a sort of hanging edge usually allocated to poems of loss or just general whinging. Just a couple of final lines should just about do it.
Yours in reviewing,
The Fiend.

Hi there, Skor!

I like this, but it's always really difficult for me to review meta pieces like this. A poem that talks about the poem itself. It makes my brain hurt! But I'll try. Just for you.

While I really enjoy unique formats, I think that you should reevaluate why you used the formatting in this way. Is it to make it better, to reinforce the ideas or the speakers of the dialogue? Look at every time you indented a line. Does it make the poem better? Just something to think about.

It is just a good poem.

it would surely not win.

the crooning!:

"Bah, it's too difficult...
...too modern!"
"The words— too long!
...reprehensible—!"
"It follows no structure...
...so blunt— garish!"

you
foolish old crones.

I cannot help, what is in

— hell, sometimes just
thoughts!

Like it is spilling —
onto asphalt
and it dissolves and
evaporates and
just percolates again

Like tepid water
water
spilling from the leaky faucet
of my overflowing mind.

This was great. A+ from me.

I enjoyed the visiual style of the writing and its curvyness. Addes to the cerebral message. I am a lover of language and words like "orifice" "tepid" and "percolate". I rarly get to see in poems anymore. I dont really understand the "FUUUUUUUUUUUUU..." part though.

It is brilliant!!! Why? Because it was you who wrote it. In other words what you were trying to say the structure in a poem should mean very little compared to the message you are trying to convey, and if you can do that then it's a success. Though most people don't see it that way. So the other thing you're trying to say is that it doesn't matter if other people see it that way you only care about how you see it, and the people that can look past it say, right? Or maybe it's that creativity should have no bounds. Of course it depend on your style, if something you wrote wasn't meant to have a structure then it stands to reason that the person who commented on the lack of one has weight on the matter. Anyways lovely poem!!! Keep calm and write on!!!! =^_^=

Hello skorlir!

This poem does actually seem to follow a pattern at points, but that's not always what I look for. I look for the meaning, which is quite apparent in this piece. On that note: This is a great poem! It seems that you wrote everything in a zig-zag pattern, I'm not sure if that has a secret meaning, but I think it's cool. Keep it up!

~Kelpies.