z

Young Writers Society


12+ Violence

Chapter 4: Friends-Selene

by ForeverWarrior


As soon as my feet touch the ground, Mark and Nico escort me to the medical sector. I go in for an x-ray of my chest and arm with the bite on it. A nurse practically covers my face in cream for every cut I've got, thanks to the explosion. Someone else comes in to re-bandage my arm after the x-ray, and tells me to come back in a few days so she can do it again. A doctor comes in and tells me that my ribs are only bruised, but to take it easy. He gives a bottle of painkillers to take every morning and night. I ask for someone to give me a report.

Nico walks in 10 minutes later. "Mark went to give Mainy the final report on Dajen, Nick went to find out how bad Dajen was, and I'm about to go home. Everyone else left."

"Thanks. What about-"

"The binder? I just took it to the tech geeks. They're going to work with the med techs."

"Got it. Hope you have a good week," I say, and get up from the chair I'm sitting in. We walk out of the medical sector through the sliding glass doors, and out into the hustle and bustle of Z.A.C.'s headquarters.

"Home," I say unconsciously. A smile crosses my face.

HQ is like a mini city. People run around everywhere, and most people live close to their workplace. An exception for soldiers is made since there is no specific workplace for us. We mostly get to live wherever, and most people live near their families if they have them. I smell the food cooking, and can see the trading post next to it. I have a necklace from a raid 2 nights ago on a warehouse I've been meaning to trade for something.

I look to my left and see the tech sector with all it's glass and computers showing everything they're working on. A TG pushes his glasses up on his nose and writes something on a clipboard. I look towards a small shelf with already packaged items.

"See ya around," I tell Nico, and jog over to the shelf. Warm food sounds-and smells-good right now, but I'd rather not have to explain the scenario I went through today to my mother, and I don't want to argue.

"What will I eat today before Mainy sends me off on a death mission?" I ask. I've been on a night patrol and then this morning's mission back to back. I haven't had any sleep and I'm pretty sure I've lost 5 pounds and gained circles under my eyes.

I grab a banana, a Sprite, and a bag of peanuts, just as I feel a tug on my shirt. I look down and see Leonardo, my best friend's little brother. The brown haired kid with green eyes is 10, and doesn't like the military as much as the technical and medical sector.

"Bellatrix wants to see you," he says, pointing past me to two orange curtains. I see a small gap, where a bit of red peeks out. I smile again.

"Thanks," I say. I pat him on the back and jog to the curtains. I stop in front, and take a deep breath.

I swing open the curtains; greeted by 2 smiling faces. First is Bellatrix, a girl my age and a little taller than me. She always has her hair short and colored. It's been red this week. She's wearing a Spiderman t-shirt and skinny jeans. I see black Converses.

I'm wrapped in a bone-crushing hug, and I grimace. "Hey, that rib's bruised!" I squeeze out. She lets go.

"Sorry," she says.

"It's fine," I reply. Next is Mici, my kind of serious, straight-faced friend who's like my second father. He has brown hair and brown eyes. He's good with military, techinical, and medical sectors, and I've heard his mom say he can cook. He hugs me more gently.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Yeah. I'm totally fine. I didn't get bitten today," I say, and Bellatrix's jaw drops.

"You got bitten?!" she yells. People in the tech sector can probably hear us.

"Yes. I'm fine, though. I got bit on my wrist, but the serum was injected before the hour," I explain.

"I hope so. I couldn't fathom the thought of my best friend walking around yelling, 'Brains!" she shouts, and begins walking around like those zombies kids laugh about. We all laugh as she hits the coffee table and yells, "Oh crap! I forgot that was there."

I should tell how the hangout looks, shouldn't I?

Anyway, those orange curtains make the four "walls" of our hangout. 2 curtains cover up walls, and against one is a black futon. A mahogany end table sits at either end. Against another corner, is a plush red chair that Mici is always sitting on. In the middle of the "room" is the black coffee table Bellatrix hit while doing her zombie/mummy impression. The coffee table sits on an orange shag rug. The atmosphere is one of home, and always warm.

As I set down my stuff and begin to eat, I explain the events of that morning. Afterwards, Bellatrix says, "I wouldn't sweat the talking zombie. I'm sure they do it all the time, and we just don't hear 'em. Ya know?"

"Yeah you're probably right. I'm gonna go sleep before Mainy tries to kill me again," I say, and head towards the door. I'm stopped by Mici's question.

"You gonna tell your mom?"

"Maybe. Not for a week, I hope. See you guys at school tomorrow. I'm wondering if Dajen will even show up, or if he's too scared to show his harem his precious little face," I say, emitting a small laugh.

"What do you mean?" Bellatrix asks.

"He got beaten up pretty bad by Mark. He kept trying to leave me behind, but my hour wasn't up. He eventually tried to walk out, but Mark stopped him. Apparently, Dajen attacked him. Mark knocked him out."

"School should be interesting tomorrow, especially if he shows up," Bellatrix says, a mischievous smile on her face.

"I know, right?" I say, walking out and heading towards my home.


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170 Reviews


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Sun May 25, 2014 2:10 pm
deleted5 wrote a review...



Hey there! Alex here to review this chapter for red team!!
First off I would like to say I have not read the previous chapters so forgive me for any errors that may be a result of that. Now to the actual review:
I always like to start with the positives in my reviews so lets do that!

I can tell from just this one chapter that you have a experience in world building easily. You have built up this brand new world and fit the characters in very snugly! I also like how you fit in little details about the world from the size of the HQ to medical procedures. This is really helpful in a dystopian styled story since a lot of detail is needed for the reader to take in the new world!

Now for the nitpicks!
1) I'm a little bit confused why the MC is one minute a soldier the next a student at a school? I think this is just my bad on not reading the previous chapters though.

2)

"Thanks. What about-"

Should be:
"Thanks, what about-"


3)
Warm food sounds-and smells-good right now,

This is quite a mixed up sentence. It's quite difficult to read. Maybe change it to:
Warm food sounds, and smells, good right now,


Overall good chapter!






Thanks. All the students are working in some field, but still going to school at the same time. Generally, they work on the weekends, but some of the more advanced can be called on for night shifts and missions.



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Sun May 25, 2014 9:44 am
ConfusedGlasses wrote a review...



Hello there! Confused here for a review!
So, okay. I haven't read the previous chapters but I think I can see what the main character is about... sort of. I just realized I don't even know her name. But I think it's Selene, is it?
Anyway moving on.
Even though this chapter is nothing but a glimpse of what her life is like and a scene from the hospital, you really captured my attention. I have to say that there isn't much suspense to keep us hooked to read the next chapter except the fact that there is a mention of zombies. I can bet your setting is a dystopian world. There is a lot one wouldn't understand if they didn't read the previous chapters (just like me) but I think people would get a pretty good idea.
HOWEVER. I would strongly suggest on working to get things a bit more... I don't know... interesting to capture more attention.
Otherwise this piece of writing is awesome!
I know this review is incredibly short. You're lucky I didn't find any grammatical errors in here...
I think I'll read the previous chapters some time...






Thanks. I'm glad you were able to catch onto the character and what is going on. By the way, her name is Selene. I'll have to work on the suspense for the next chapter. Thanks!





you're welcome! just trying to help!




“Hope” is the thing with feathers - That perches in the soul - And sings the tune without the words - And never stops - at all -
— Emily Dickinson