Young Writers Society

I was alone that night.
My love was out travelling
With the friend who brought us together

Oh that horrible night
Why did he have to die?
I remember that night so well…

The rain was pouring
The lightning flashed when
The call came...

He was dead
The one who believed in me
The one who could keep me safe

I sat there for the longest time
It couldn’t be true
It wasn’t true

I threw on my jacket and raced to his house
The lights were blazing
The police were there

I fell to my knees
The wet grass soaking my jeans
Someone came up to me, I don’t know who

They asked me if I was alright
But I didn’t answer
I sat there, wishing it wasn’t true

He was dead
What was I to do?
He was the one who brought me to the light

I ran away, and hid in the woods
Hiding where we first spoke the words
I love you

Why did he have to die?
He was so perfect, so wonderful
Why did he have to die…

One of my closest friend found me
He put his arms around me and kept me close
My heart was breaking, it shattered

He whispered the story to me
The roads were slick as a drunk hit them head on
Instant death, for them both

But the drunk still lives
Its unfair, why did he live?
Why did they die…

The one who captured my heart
The one who brought us together
Never to be seen again

Why him?

Hmm... This was really... whoa, I can't say, but yeah, it totally had heart to it, and I was there when you said you'd write it
I wish I could write poetry, I can't though... But yeah.

The three lined stanzas have got to go though... it went for that other poem you had and this one. It tends to get annoying (as well as my oddly lined stanzas in other variously oddly written poems)

nice job however. Hope that things have lightened up though. *offers you a nose picture*

haha.. ya... like 3... nice number, but I can change, and I cannot write poetry... and nose pic?

i feel really sorry for you, i havent experienced anything like that , except one time my sisters freind who was also a friend of mine, was killed in an accident and her brother watched it all happen, it was hard to get over that, and i didnt know her that well, but this must have been torture...


this poem was good, very nice job

Wait... who died? The friend or boyfriend? You say "he" in the first lines and keep repeating the "he." Not them, he. So... if both the friends died, then you would have to change it to "they." And instead of "him" use "them."

It might make it more awkward, but perhaps you can change the poem around a little bit so that instead of two dying, just one dies.

This is starting to sound rather morbid...

Also, because I'm obsessive compulsive, etc., I found this grammatical error:

"What was I too do?"

It should be: "What was I to do?" Notice the "to."

Overall, this was nice. I like the repeated "oo" sounds in the poem. Nice touch.

this actually happened to her, both one of her good freinds and her boyfreind (from what i inferered, read her other poem it talks about this somthing like notice me ) died in the crash...

Meh. Life sucks.

heh... ya... both died, same night... they were 'bout 16, and 17 years of age... I was 15, and there is an oo sound?

omg it was really good!! it sounded like it was from the heart. More poems should be like that; from the heart