Young Writers Society

Fuck you Inspiration,
I don't want to wait.
I'm writing a poem
and there'll be no debate!

I've stared at the stars by night
And the clouds every day
but is seems that every beauty
refuses to take my breath away.

Fuck you Inspiration,
I've been searching every where
but you continue to evade me,
so I'll write without you there!

I've been listening to music
and discovering nature,
but nothing that I've seen so far,
has inspirations strange allure.

So fuck you Inspitation,
read this and you'll see
that even when you're hiding,
I'll still write poetry!

I mean really? Inspiration is where you get your poetry from, you know! And such bad words you've used.
If you're going to use such words in a poetry, I don't think you can ever get used to writing good English.


Please try to avoid words like "Fuck", "Bitch" and "Rape" and all.
They're not going to give it any meaning other than bad of the poetry. :/

Anyway, I liked the idea but I could only rate this a 6/10.
I'm sorry, but this poem was WAYY too much. D:

--
Cookie

Hey Cookie, thanks for the review!

I didn't meant to offend anyone with the language in this, I don't usually swear in my poetry and I would never do it in a serious poem. However, this was meant to be a bit humerous and "stuff you" or something along those lines doesn't quit have the same effect! Lol, I think it's a little unfair to say that words like "fuck", "bitch" or "rape" make a poem bad because they are words in the English language just like any other, that in certain circumstances best allow you to get your point across.

Anyways, I hope you like my furture poems better (I'll make sure the next one's U rated ).

Hello anna!

Hmm. I may not be old enough to read this, but hey, I find this very humorous and the swearing in your poem is something I'm immune of already. Not because I say it but I've often hear a lot of it everywhere from books or even in movies. ^^ Now onto the poem itself, just like what I've said earlier, I find this funny and I kind of relate this poem to myself in terms of looking for an inspirational desire when it comes to writing. By the first verse, I could already feel the anger from the narrator's tone- which was pretty good since it complemented well my impression of the poem when I saw the title. Then as I read other the following verses, it saddened me a bit since I've noticed that the poem was plainly nagging and throwing tantrums to readers. Perhaps this is just me but I don't think it would hurt to add depth to your poem. Like for example, using metaphors and such, just something to tone down the fuming voice that comes from the poem. However, the poem flows smoothly because of your rhyming scheme. I think that was one of the poem's highlight and it turned the poem amusing instead of focusing the actual anger state of your narrator. All in all, this was interesting.

Hey, Anna!

Well, you managed to give the punch to inspiration alright! xD

But in all actuality, I'm not sure where the humour comes into play here. It mostly sounds like the incessant ranting of someone who 'wants' inspiration to knock on his/her door. The rhyme was okay at best and to me, was the only thing that actually kept the poem going.

anna91423 wrote:but is seems that every beauty

I think using 'it' would have been the better choice of word.

anna91423 wrote:has inspirations strange allure.

An apostrophe 's' was supposed to have been implemented here.

You had replied to an earlier reviewer about the use of language in this piece. Had you actually used words like 'stuff you' or 'beach' or other funny iterations of swear words, this would really have been an entertaining piece. I also agree with the reviewer above me in that you could have used metaphors and things that add imagery (comedic imagery, if that's what you were aiming for). But at the least, you've managed to vent out your emotions against this infamous subject through this piece and that's great

Though, with just a little bit more streamlining, you could have made this poem really good. And remember that having 18+ elements in a poem isn't the only way to depict such types of frustrations. This could have been an opportunity for you to inspire yourself and making this a charming and funny piece for everyone to enjoy.

All in all, an underwhelming read yet a great conceptual idea. Keep the ink flowing!

Murtuza

Hi Anna!

So, I admit! This is pretty amusing. The language seems a little out of place sometimes... if the f-word weren't there, this could be something that could be found in some Shel Silverstein book. That word being there kind of prevents it, however, and kind of turns the poem's tone from "whimsical" to just a chuckle. So, basically, just some thoughts! But that's mostly my opinion. Overall, I kind of like the poem, just because it's petty and juvenile. Great poetry it does not make, but it's good for the laugh.

What's really killing this poem, however, is the amount of spelling and grammatical errors there are. I can spot three right now, just by scanning it. So, you should definitely revise it and make it cleaner!

Hi Anna!

So, I admit! This is pretty amusing. The language seems a little out of place sometimes... if the f-word weren't there, this could be something that could be found in some Shel Silverstein book. That word being there kind of prevents it, however, and kind of turns the poem's tone from "whimsical" to just a chuckle. So, basically, just some thoughts! But that's mostly my opinion. Overall, I kind of like the poem, just because it's petty and juvenile. Great poetry it does not make, but it's good for the laugh.

What's really killing this poem, however, is the amount of spelling and grammatical errors there are. I can spot three right now, just by scanning it. So, you should definitely revise it and make it cleaner!

Hi there Ike here for a review!
First of all i liked reading it. It made me laugh and sort of think of myself. I thought it to be a little refreshing and gritty. Yes the word "fuck" can sometimes make writing risky and in the wrong context, immature. But i feel as if you used it well. Go ahead and keep on writing!

Hey there!
I actually liked this, I found it both amusing and strange. I agree that the foul language seems to just be shoved in there, but in a way it added humor. I could also feel the anger coming from this poem, but it wasn't rage, more like humorous frustration. In a way, something we can all relate to. I'd like to read another one of your more serious poems sometime, PM me when you do come up with one!

F*ck you inspiration! Because you inspired me to write this Quick Critique! Al, here, ready Freddy!

Concept & Theme:
The points given in theme shows how greatly you affected the readers with you piece. And you DID a great job affecting me! Everyone experiences these writer's block and to overcome it, we try to find these inspirations, but definitely can't find any. I know the feeling, it's ANNOYING! It's great to know that someone understands my feelings. (It's a great quality of a poem to make the reader say that it affected them, so good work!)

Technicalities:
These are only my opinions! Remember, I might be wrong!

Fuck you Inspiration,
I don't want to wait. No need for a period
I'm writing a poem
and there'll be no debate!
I've stared at the stars by night The verb tense here is kinda rambled
And the clouds every day
but is seems that every beauty
refuses to take my breath away.
Fuck you Inspiration,
I've been searching every where I love this; there's longing and pain
but you continue to evade me,
so I'll write without you there! Yup! A common folly of writer's; this verse is a great parody
I've been listening to music
and discovering nature, I didn't understand if this is nature nature or music nature
but nothing that I've seen so far,
has inspirations strange allure.
So fuck you Inspitation,
read this and you'll see
that even when you're hiding,
I'll still write poetry! Speaking out of the question shows how great a writer is!

These are my comments as a READER. It's always important to know the reader's own perspective, so bear this in mind.

Content:
Yup, it's all there. There's the pain in your words and definitely annoyance! Everyone has something to be annoyed to. Your words are showing temperance which fits your topic. My only concern is that you just gave two activities wherein you tried to find inspiration. Try to add more stanzas that tell how lllooooonnnggggg you tried to find that darn inspiration!

Overall:
Superb! The emotion pours out here! The theme is for everyone too! Thanks for sharing! Keep writing and good luck!

Your someday daydream,
Al

This just made my day lol.
I've never seen a poem like this before and I absolutely love this.

When I read poems I have sort of a subconscious classification going on in my head, and this is one of those fun-loving make-your-day poems. It was obviously not meant to be serious and it wasn't, it was just really fun. I think the best part about this is you're ranting about the one thing that inspires writing to begin with and the irony is pretty hysterical.

Great poem, motivated by an even greater idea; stuff like this you should definitely try and continue with (not necessarily the cussing but hey, if it works the way it did in this poem, I say go for it) and keep it up with being above conformity Beautiful rebellious poem, and I really loved it.

The only awkward thing was the rhyme for nature and allure? If you could somehow rephrase it to make it more smoother or put in a different rhyme, it would make this poem basically perfect.

Great job

i LOVED this poem

I feel the same way sometimes so i understand where you are coming from

I loved witty and funny it was

i liked it and am so glad that i was able to read it. i liked the way it had a rythim to it and how you named the places you were looking for inspiration and that they weren't doing anything for you.I am glad to know i am not the only one who cusses in poems. LOL

i am very excited to read your other works and i am glad to know that not all poetry is either SUPER sad or SUPER happy.

You found that happy middle

Thank you for letting me read this. it made my day

- MusicLover797

I LOVED your poem

I get irritated all the time because of this very thing

I loved how you made it witty and funny and I am looking forward to reading more of your work

you didnt have any mistakes that i saw and it had rythim. i liked how you explained where you go for inspiration and i just plain loved it

I am so glad that i read this and thank you for something that made my day just by reading it

Thank you

-MusicLover797

HAHAHA this is freaking great. I know EXACTLY what this feels like (I think most do). This writing is creative and something I don't think most people could come up with, or make it as great as you have. This made me laugh when I was done. Thank you for the great creation and creativity.

I don't mean this in an offensive way towards anyone else, but screw what they say. I found the poem funny, and exactly how a writers feels when they've got an intense writers block. And who honestly cares about the wording you used? If you need to write "fuck", write it. If they don't like it, they don't have to read it. I thought it was funny and liked it because it shows a comical side to writers block.