Hahaha!!! Very funny! Interesting poem! Very clever, too clever almost. There's nothing I could say for improvement that other people had already told you themselves. It was really clever in that it can stand as a poem in it's own right but it as if it was intended for the person curious enough to click on it and look at it. So overall, well done
Ooh I liked this. I love the concept to this and also by using this cncept your alo attracting people to read your work which is very clever. Not the best poem I've ever read but it's certainly got something Well done xxxx
I won't lie I have also observed the odd tendency of humanity to do the opposite of what they are told and I rather hate to do this but a far older poet has already written this observation may haps you have heard of Ishmael Reed. He wrote of a poems legendary hunger and similar to yours it drew readers in with almost no hope of escape. Regardless it was a rather good poem and I rather enjoyed it.
So much depends upon a red wheel barrow glazed with rain water beside the white chickens. Red Wheel Barrow by- William Carlos Williams
] whoa, first of all.. I hate you. I hate you for letting me fall into this prank! hahaha! Seriously, I love this poem, you got me caught here, and read more than what I expected! Haha! I felt stupid, predictable,yet all I can do is laugh XD hahaha!
You'll know my story, But you'll never know my name, Neither the story of my life.. just yet.
hehehe VousExEtonnant, you are one sneaky character. Sneaky, mischievous, and rather clever if I can admit. You have successfully and bravely summed up human psychological behaviour in this down-to-earth honest-to-God poem. I’m just trying to work out is it actually scary that everything you say is actually right from the word Go... or “curiosity” in this case. Very well written, very cleverly devised, and a lot of human nature can be seen in this. Great use of observational comedy.
Just to add on to “WriterMajorInRomance”’s comment, what a prank. But it was a great prank, and thankyou for letting us fall for it.
Last edited by TDMitchell on Sat Apr 16, 2011 9:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
omg this is an amazing poem! the title really drew me in and i really like how you start the poem with the old saying "curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought him back" it really made me want to read more and figure out why you started the poem with this line..well more like these lines but i really like it! keep writing!
écrire pour vivre - french schrijf om te leven - dutch scrivere per vivere - italian 生活への書き込み - japanese write to live - english
I love your poem. It's creative, brilliant, and different! It's really surprising that such a young girl like you can write so well. Your observation about curiosty is also very keen.
But I detect a sarcasm in your writing. 13 years is not 130 years. You still have a long way to go! I personally am against angry writers.
This is just my personal opinion, though. They say once the poem is out of the poet's hand, it's all about the reader's interpretation. Please just tell me if I misinterpreted it.
This is hardly a poem, it's in fact, barely one. It's didactic and preachy, moralizing almost while wearing the proverbial sheep's clothing, and, the creature inside? Silenus. Understand my reference is an effort to show the perspective of what this poem really appears beyond a curiosity and gimmick.
Taking the poem apart line by line is pointless, as the premise is essentially "I'm clever, I'm using a fallacy to sound wise", and yeah. Cool. Let's all clap for you, or not.
A poem is not lecturing me or informing me, nor is it teaching me or telling me what to think; sure, you can argue you see these, but good poems show for the most part, and then tell a little in order to progress a story. Really, quite simple, but hard to do in practice.
As is, these are lines stacked on lines attempting to be smart. If you did this as an experiment, why didn't you make this a blog? Or, rather were you trying to show something about the like system in relation to curiosity? Well, again I clap once for you. And that's it. To some, poems like these are insulting in their arrogance and complete lack of regard for the reader. And we as writers have to move past ourselves and our petty desires and wants and actually show something that is both interesting and tangible, allowing the reader to approach the work and make their own decisions.
So this is cute, yes, but that's it; the final message is all that gives a piece like this any weight, and even then it's pretty light. My advice? Don't write these in the future. You need to show, not tell us what to think. Had you shown why curiosity can be harmful...maybe. But then you need to avoid being naive. A tough task.
I must be a rebel, because I have seen this title ever since it was first featured, but I never felt compelled to click it at all. This si my first time reading it actually. I like being my own indidvidual and follow the rules lol. But your peom is true, and it really is wonderful!
"If you ever have a problem don't say 'Hey God I have a big problem.' Rather 'Hey Problem... I have a big God and it's all going to be okay."
Hahaha I love this poem. It made me feel stupid. It's a cute piece of work and I love how many people fell for it. No criticism at all. It really made me laugh.
Love, fruity!
"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." Harvey Fierstein "At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet." Plato
